There she is. You got good taste my brother. She's smart. She's pretty. She's caring. She's funny. She has the same taste in music as you do. She's the perfect balance of ratchet and classy. She'll twerk on you in public but she woke. She's ambitious. She'll flame yo goofy ass. She's the total package.
You've known her for a while. Always talk to each other. Always see each other at the functions. It's time for you to make your move. Tell her how you feel. Set up a date. Get straight to the point.
You're on the date. Apps and Serts (Appetizers and Desserts). You're eating good. She eating good. Conversation good. You bring up the future. Is a second date possible? You're good money right now. She ate good. Talk was good. You in the clear. She tells you "Yes we can go out again." When you hear that you're celebrating on the inside like your student loan debt has been cleared and forgiven and then you hear out of nowhere "But as friends."
Your heart drops to your feet. You look over at the waitress. You so hurt you think this bitch is laughing at you but in reality she just smiling because she has to. It's her job. Your drink seems watered down. It's really not. Your hurt spirit has destroyed your taste buds and you can't taste shit. All of sudden the check looks like a million dollar tab to you. Your hurt soul has ruined your ability of mathematics.
Your mind is all over the place. You really want to leave her here and make her take public transportation home. You feel betrayed. All the nice shit you thought about her you feel is a lie. It's really not a lie you're just hurt as fuck and convincing yourself it is a lie. You even second guessing yourself as if it would've changed the outcome. You're delusional and talking to yourself.
"I wore my good cologne. I wore the Bleu De Chanel."
"Ralph Lauren head to toe. I felt like Ric Flair in the 80's."
"I knew I should've got tic-tac's instead of this weak ass gum."
"I should've let her eat off my plate. Yeah! That's where I fucked up! SHIT!"
"I told too many jokes. I play too much. I should've been more serious."
Nigga who you fooling? Women love to laugh. In reality, none of it mattered. You just weren't good enough for her.
In the end she friendzoned you. Now all that nice shit you thought about her don't mean anything. Time to drop her back off home and act weird or try to claw your way out of the friendzone with persistence in the future. You can try and "Nice guy" your way out the friendzone which never works. You can leave her alone and pretend you both never met or pick the most logical option..........
Actually be her friend.
Yes you heard correct. Accept your residency in the friendzone. Don't try to escape. Bring some fruit snacks and a air mattress. Get comfortable.
Actually be her friend. Go out for drinks with her. Listen to her problems with men. Be the shoulder to cry on. Kick it together.
"Why Benny? Why be her friend? It doesn't make sense."
Let me teach all the younger homies and older guys something who keep getting friendzoned. I've been there. Trust me. You think you found someone special and she doesn't like you back that way. It sucks. Don't toss her to the side. This is coming from a man who has fucked his way out of the friendzone TWICE! Yup. Not through manipulation or relentless pursuit. I just accepted her terms to be "Just friends." No tricks. No gimmicks. Just kept being myself and respected her wishes.
Not saying you'll have my luck but trust me and take this advice. The Friendzone is your friend.
I know you wanted her and it sucks you didn't get her but continue to be her friend no matter how much you're hurt. If your best way to deal with it is cutting her off completely then do that but whatever you choose just be honest, do it right, and live with the decision.
Here is what you don't do.
THE "NICE GUY" ROUTINE
Don't be this lame. You're not nice guying your way into some pussy. Nope. Never works. All that's going to happen when you do this shit is that you're going to keep offering dates and she'll keep taking them because it's free food and drinks. Nobody turning that down. You'll look like a straight up sucka. Stop texting her "Good Morning Beautiful." Bruh, you're not getting any points for that. She don't care. I'm not texting no woman "good morning beautiful" who I haven't been intimate with. Get that Boyz II Men head ass shit outta here. She gone look at that text and wish it was the guy she was really interested in who sent it. Not you.
Using this as an ulterior motive never works and it's some fuck boy shit. If you're really going to be a nice person then be one. If you really want to be her friend then be that. Don't be nice just cause you want to get with her. Just because you're nice doesn't mean she owes you some ass. Being nice means being kind without expecting something in return. You do it because it's who you are.
If she not feeling you. She not feeling you. No gesture is going to change that. You could save her life and she still won't see you in that light. Face facts. You're friendzoned.
Nice guys don't finish last. I'm a nice guy and I never had problems with women. Only bitch ass dudes finish last. Men who don't carry themselves like men finish last. Remember that.
Here are the reasons the friendzone is your friend and having genuine women friends works in your favor.
IT'S A NUMBERS GAME
In the words of the great Beanie Sigel "It's all mathematics." The more women you have as friends the more women you have a chance to get. Now if you just a lame ass dude then all this shit I'm telling you maybe difficult but if you a dope muhfucka you'll see what I mean.
Every time I hang out with all women more women hop in my inbox. I don't know why but it's just the way it is. I post up pictures and snaps with women then more just come in my direction. They must think I'm this ladies man and I'm popping in the streets but I'm not. I'm a broke, ugly, black man. I'm nobody bruh. I don't know if it's jealousy or if it's the fact that certain women want to lock down a man who they think has so many options. I don't know but for me that's how it works. The more women I hang out with as just friends the more women I get.
If you a good ass dude and a great friend you think your homie not going to put you on and talk about you to other people in a positive light? She will and she will to other women. It's more than looks. Don't get me wrong they matter to everybody but if you a good and genuine person you'll have a fly one on your arm soon. Trust me. It's how the universe works.
She may even put you on some of her friends that you've never met. When she wants to hang with her friends who are women, if you are close to her she will be calling you to join in also. She becomes a pipeline to meet more women. Meet her friends and if you're super cool to them then they will spread word about you also. You can even shoot your shot with them. Like I said it's a numbers game. Just be a good person and you'll be straight. Fuck around and meet your wife this way.
WOMEN ARE THE BEST WINGMEN
This is facts. Go to a bar or club with a woman who's your friend and see how many plays she set you up with. If she real she'll throw you more lobs than Chris Paul on a fast break. I once went out with a lady friend of mine. We not into each other. Never have been but we went to a club and for fun I wanted to see how many numbers I get by playing this game. All she would do is go up to a group of women or a woman, compliment them on their outfits and start the convo then she would call me over and introduce me and I would seal the deal. It was easy money. Pure layup drills that's how easy it was.
I can do all this shit myself but it's easier this way. Too fucking easy. Plus it's fun and you're meeting new people if it fails. It failed a couple times not because of my friend but because of me. If a woman not feeling me she not feeling me but that's when I asked for their social media handles instead and I build a relationship with them from there because you never know where a new friend may lead you too. New opportunities. New people. New money. Whatever.
Women are the best wingmen hands down. If you're in a VIP booth with all women I'll bet any money that when you leave the booth to bring more women over it'll be easier than if you were in a booth with all dudes. If people see 3 dudes with 7 women in one booth they're going to think those 3 dudes got the juice. May not be right to think that but that's how people will think. I've been in both scenarios. The more women in your section the more action you're getting.
I'm not a love guru or a ladies man I'm just a honest man. The friendzone isn't as bad as you guys make it out to be. You just don't know how to finesse it right.