Here's 2 reviews in one.....little whores. 






Tracy is bruhman but he uses doors and he lets his waves bake. 


If King Darius VII says a Instagram chick with 3000 followers views about the world are unrealistic then they’re unrealistic. Let those boutique ownership dreams go ladies. They’re unrealistic. Not from a business sense. Yall just don’t have style that’s why yall get naked faster than prime Pinky XXX. 


A woman with 300 followers has a clean car on the inside. Can’t trust her. 


Why in the fuck would Earn not get a hotel or airbnb? There’s no way he could be that broke. 


When Tracy said “Nah I’m staying here” I felt that. 


I feel sorry for Paperboi. Earn got him staying with a thirsty groupie with curly hair. If a woman has curly hair 1 of 2 things about to happen. 1) The pussy fire so you bout to fall in love 2) The pussy fire and she about to kill you. 


She called this black ass boy a “Crane” black people don’t know what a crane is. 


She’s one of those fake ass wannabe artsy girls that does photoshoots with flowers in the woods. 


My niggas came out looking like niggas in House Party 2. Paperboi performed “Yo Baby Yo” by Ralph Tresvant at Pajama Jam. 


The fake artsy hoe hated and poured a drink on Paperboi while he was talking to a fire ass intelligent black woman. You see? The devil is always busy. 


Tracy mushed her down the steps on some “Long Live The King” shit like Scar.


There’s always some weirdo weak ass friend zoned nigga in college that always gotta call the cute women their “sister” Boy you just met her this semester shut up. They only claim chicks as their sister cause they won’t give those kinda niggas no cheeks. Niggas like that think they’re fucking their way out the friend zone. Nah buddy. Niggas like that favorite rapper be Wale. No one takes those niggas seriously. 


Tracy knocked that college nigga into the real world. He knocked that nigga into hating his job and his marriage that’s how far he punched that nigga into the future. 


King Darius VII said he smelled certain hats and weed. Our lord powers know no limits. 


I’ve been in a white boy frat house and here’s what’s happening. You not drinking because no nigga is drinking Natty Lights and that’s all those white frat boys drink. There’s cocaine and there’s white girls that if you just look their direction that rape charge is getting stuck to you like bill collectors. 


I don’t care how good the weed is. I’m not smoking in a room full of naked Garrett’s. 


Remember The Maceo days? Nextel Chirp was a negro spiritual. 


Somebody tell Fabo to call Barbara from "Tatted Up" cause these white boys tripping. 


I’m glad Paperboi finally addressing Earn because that nigga don’t do shit. Worse manager than the white guy that managed New Edition. How Paperboi got a buzz in a city with the biggest music market and no paid shows? That makes no damn sense. 


If a woman I just met cut up my clothes and fucked up my car. My sisters will be waiting in all black and that hoe college semester will be cut short and I’m beating fake big brother ass for good measure too. 


Earn is a idiot. He’s the worse kinda nigga. A too smart for his own good unlucky nigga. If he would’ve just played shit fair then Paperboi career would be flourishing but it’s not. Just kick the door down. Why cause an even bigger scene by pulling the fire alarm? He just wanna be seen. 


Tracy stole that “It was Colonel Mustard in the conservatory” clue ass gun. 


Earn mad he lost his job and that Paperboi doesn’t see Tracy in the way he sees him. Tracy just a free loader that provides comedy for the crew but the difference is Tracy behavior is not detrimental to Paperboi’s career. Tracy just a nigga that’s around. Earn’s actions effects Paperboi’s career so that’s why Paperboi upset with him and not Tracy. Earn trying to fight and getting his ass beat is rooted in that. 


He slammed that nigga Earn like Thanos did Hulk. 







That Fubu jersey brings back memories. I had a red one and used to rock it with grey sweats with some Airmax. I was a whole SNACK! I promise you. 


He gave that boy the weakest punch in the eye I ever saw. 


When we were that age we had no idea what was fake or not. If that shit look cool niggas bought it. Remember Tommy Gear wave caps? Those were faker than a bitch and niggas was rocking them shits proud as fuck. Usher had one on the “My Way” album cover. You could only get em at your hood beauty supply and flea market. We used to shop at the flea market without any fucks to give. Niggas was really rocking clear Air Force ones exposing our dirty socks and still going to Erica house to attempt rubbing a titty while her parents was at work on school half days. 


When that lil boy said you underarms smell like ribs you saw that teacher soul lift into the heaven’s. He drank heavily and ate heavily after that day. No doubt about it. 


Graphing calculators had Tetris on em. I don’t blame Paperboi for stealing that shit. 


Earn’s white friend wears the same shirt twice week. That white boy is a instagram meme that black people who spent rent on a Louis belt but got the nerve to post a meme about how Bill whole outfit cost $40 dollars and the black community needs to get it together. They just bought Foamposites literally a day before they post the shit and got the nerve to think They Julius from “Everybody Hates Chris.” 


Remember notes with the yes or no check boxes? I remember I got my soul crushed when I sent one in the 2nd grade to Kasey but she said “Ew Benny nose always be running.” I went home and cried to Boys II Men. I ain’t been sick or had a cold since that day. Me and Kasey dated when we were older. Yeah my Glo-up was the shit. 


I ain’t never met a Erica who liked a broke ass nigga. Ever. So that note Earn received is accurate as fuck. 


They called Earn shit “Febe” like Helga Pataki best friend. Tragic. 


Earn gotta do what Biggie did in “Sky’s The Limit” “Here comes that nigga wit the fake….. BOW!!! Why you punch me in my face? Stay in ya place.”


Even the cafeteria workers flaming Earn. He gotta flame back. Like my nigga you hella grown and serve me square cheese pizza. On my worse day I’m still better than you. 


Mr.Popo is a racist character. We really let that shit slide. Niggas really care about Vegeta so we ain’t even trip. 


Paperboi really shopping in niggas lockers. This fat boy a bully. 


Earn worried about the wrong shit. This nigga ain’t changed either as an adult. He has everything going for himself and he focused on the wrong shit. 


Paperboi saved Earn embarrassment from his peers. Which is interesting given the episode before this where Paperboi has basically always been there for Earn and when it’s time for Earn to show the same love back he always falls short because of his insecurities and immaturity.  


It’s rare that you find a Erica that’s not fye. We never abided by that call between 6-9 rule. They kept the phone by they side and answered as SOON as they heard that ring. The phone would barely let out a sound and they would answer it. Girls reflexes are incredible because of that shit. Then they hit you with that sessy ass whisper “Hey, what you doing?” I’d reply “Nothing watching The Box.” 


Maybe it’s just St.Louis but around that age we never really grasped suicide. We Joan on niggas. So even the kids that got picked on would Joan back or fight back. We didn’t start seeing suicides until high school.


If my momma try to make me wear a suit in hot ass Georgia then I’m just gonna have to take that ass whooping. I’m sorry. 


The end of this ends with Paperboi momma telling Earn and Paperboi to look out for each other and as I stated before Earn ain’t done that shit. Paperboi been doing that his whole life. Earn has been taking from everyone he’s come across. His baby momma, his parents, Paperboi, so Earn really the nigga Robbin in Robbin Season.


Listen to the latest episode of Polite Coolery.