Here's 21 signs that you've Glo'd up.
WHEN YOUR SCALP IS OILED, MOISTURIZED AND HEALTHY.
SelfCareBoyz until it’s over. Nigga my hair always smell like Pina Colada Freeze pops and I’m hella pretty and my skin softer than prime Janet Jackson voice. I’m collecting black owned natural hair products like Pokemon cards. Got a counter full of Blastoise holographic card worthy hair products. These niggas can’t touch me. No forreal nobody can touch me. I put in too much maintenance to look this beautiful and have people touching me. I ain’t goin. My new alter ego is “Benny Baddie.” Bout to start having hella drunk picnics at the park with my friends and pull up to the brunches looking like a prime Young Dro verse. Hella colorful and illustrious. Might even put a flower in my hair like a art hoe.
NIGGAS OPINIONS DON’T MEAN SHIT.
When you realize they never have and never will you'll be hellagood. Only opinions I need to hear should be about taco spots, recommended anime, and strains of weed.
One word or one letter texts are at astronomical levels on this side G. I’m not writing novels. I don’t give a fuck, I will start texting “K” to any and everything. If you think I had a attitude sending it well bitch I did and if you don't think I had an attitude sending it then congrats you a real nigga like me so lets hit this day party and I'll buy you drinks. And to anybody who thinks that texting "K" is for women only to text and thinks I’m sweet….ain’t nobody gone beat my ass…. Do something. It’s a new day mothafucka.
NO ONE CAN HOLD YOUR JOY HOSTAGE
Nobody can do hold your happiness hostage. You’re Bruce Willis in “Die Hard” Fuck these Hans Gruber bitch ass niggas. Somebody try to hold your joy hostage you make they hoe ass pay the price. On some real shit only YOU can hold your joy hostage. No one else.
THE THREAD GOES POOF
When you erase text threads it feels almost better than getting head while you're margarita drunk. Not as good but good enough to satisfy the fuck outta you. When the text thread is erased the person might as well be erased like niggas in Infinity War....... "I don't wanna go" head ass.....Too bad. You going. The thread has been erased. The cakes been baked.
WHEN HOE LIFE IS YOUR LIFE
I’m a hoe and I’m proud. When I get married I’m just gonna be a committed hoe who shops at bed bath and beyond and goes thrifting with my wife. When I have kids I'm a just be a Hoe Dad. My hoe ways not changing. The bond with your significant other while both knowing you’re both hoes in the past, present, and future is refreshing. Start booking trips and get those hoe vision boards created. Hoe life is your life.
EVERYBODY LEFT ON READ
Except ya momma and the money. Yeah…. That type of time.
KNOWLEDGE OF SELF
When you know you the shit despite your flaws the world and universe will buss it open for you. Self Awareness forever important.
DON’T MATTER IF I’M EARLY OR LATE
Don’t matter if I’m early or late bitch I’m here and I accomplish shit on my time and my way. This ain’t a race hoe. It don’t matter if I’m late or early in whatever I do. My clock broken. Fuck a timeline.
If your library hasn't gotten even more lit with knowledgable reading material then you haven't officially Glo'd up yet. Go to Amazon and update that library. Hoes read too.
ACCEPTANCE AINT SHIT ….
Acceptance ain’t shit but an excuse to put on a mask. You put on a mask and hide the true “you” when you look for acceptance. When you crave acceptance it’s like telling yourself that what you think of yourself isn’t good enough. Acceptance has no place in the glo.
YOU DON’T FIX PEOPLE
People be grown as fuck. Quit trying to fix grown ass people. Quit trying to change people. Put your energy into people you don’t have to work on or change. You like and love who they are already. Why are you treating weak ass people like science projects? What’s broke is broke. Move along. It’s their job to fix themselves not yours.
I DON’T GIVE A FUCK I’M EATING IT….
I’m a EatWhatTheFuckIWant-Tarian. Yes I know how it effects my body. Yes I know it’ll make me fat but guess what I’m still enchanting as fuck and my DM’s still filled to capacity. If it’s delicious and I want it then it's getting ate. It’s not up for debate. No I don’t wanna be Vegan. I wanna be happy instead.
NAH, I’M COOL
Say this when you cancel plans. It’ll make you look like a jerk but it feels so good like women walking on my back.
IF YOU THINK I’M TALKING BAD ABOUT YOU….
Fuck you. Your move.
I’m not apologizing for shit especially to people I don’t care for. I’m forever doing me.
THERE’S ONLY 3 WANTS
Do what you want, how you want, when you want. Please and thank you.
YOU KNOW DISCOMFORT COMING
Discomfort comes along with changing for the better so instead of stressing about the discomfort you just get more liquor, take more pictures, do more hoe activity, and tell your friends how much you love them.
BITCH I LOVE FLOWERS
BITCH I LOVE FLOWERS! I BOUGHT MORE FLOWERS FOR MYSELF! OOH AND CANDLES YOU WHORES!
YOU GONE LOVE ME
People gone front on you and try to highlight your mistakes but they still gone love you regardless so you don’t know why the fuck they even trippin.
I AIN’T EXPLAINING SHIT
Never explain yourself to people you wouldn’t kill for or didn’t starve with. Fuck clearing shit up. A mothafucka gotta earn that shit. It’s a privilege.
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