SelfCareBoyBenny checking in just to inform the world that fake hoes have officially annoyed me on a personal level. I think all my true hoes out there has fallen victim to fake hoes annoying the fuck outta them. 

The foundation of the SelfCareBoyz is hoeing. It’s why me and Moe started it. We really out here living our best life and it started with us being hoes and everything else fell like dominoes. This is bigger than us. You guys have to understand this. 


I’m just gonna get some things off my chest and that’s all. I’m just gonna be random. 


First I’m blaming Insecure season 2 for this bullshit. A lotta square people tried to bring their goofy asses to the hoe world after that season. You can’t sit here.  


Fake hoes care too much. There’s nothing wrong with caring about shit. I care about a lotta shit too but when it comes to caring about what other people think THE “FUCKS” WELL HAS RAN DRY! I don’t give a fuck about how people feel about how I move. As long as I’m not fucking with their money or have their name between my teeth then there is no reason for me to care. The first step in hoeing is that you kinda have to remove your soul from people who don’t matter in your life. You have to be extremely selfish with your spirit. Your happiness comes first. Hoes are carefree. How can you call yourself a true hoe and you still afraid to turn up to your favorite music in front of everybody? You care that people watching. You care what people say. You care that they might record you on social media having fun. Hoes don’t care. Record me. Bitch I’m bout to be the greatest thing you ever posted. People on your timeline will be in awe like... 

“Look at how graceful that hoe moves to the beat like a gazelle. I can even smell his hair through the screen. It smells like a freshly baked waffle cone.” 

They see a nigga and want to get some of this hoeing because  I DON’T CARE. When the SelfCareBoyz come to your function we turning up. All that standing around judging people shit is for fake hoes. Fake hoes still care about who other people date. If I say I’m single and you see me out with somebody just mind your musty business. I do the same so I expect the same in return. Fake hoes get offended that a person they interested in talk to more people than just them. It’s because they not built for the game. They care too much. I have the mentality of feeling like I don’t care if you think I’m the same as other niggas or a different kinda nigga. I’m me. Period. I’m Benny Baddie aka Pretty Boy Pacho and I’m hellagood. I don’t wanna hear about any other niggas or talk about any other niggas cause I’m THAT nigga. I’m worried bout me. 



Fake hoes try to be hoes because they don’t like themselves. They only pretend to hoe because they have low self esteem. This is why they fail. They think their dating life is boring so they think they can just step into the hoe leagues and average a triple double. Nah boo boo it don’t work like that. This hoe shit gotta be IN you not ON you. You can’t be a true hoe if you don’t love yourself and don't love your life. A hoe is in his or her purest form when they love themselves unconditionally. It’s why we can hear people talk down on us and continue doing whatever the fuck we wanna do. We secure. The bag secured. Hair secured. Skin secured. Nasty sex life secured. Closet secured. We big GOODT! We can feel the eyes on us when we’re living our best lives in public. Enjoy the view bitches. You ain’t never seen something this ravishing and delicious in your plain ass life. Stop being an annoying bitter bitch and Love yourself. Come join me. Be free. 


You fake hoes flirt to waste time. I flirt to fuck. You are a 4.0 and I’m a 4.6. There’s a difference. I come with the leather seats. I’m fully loaded lil baby. Fake hoes flirt and say “I was just being friendly.” Real hoes flirt and say “I was just being friendly to fuck.” So if anyone reads this and I flirt with you or have flirted with you that means I will wear that ass out. I don’t have time to waste my hoe energy on people I don’t wanna eat like a combination plate. That’s not why God put me here. She put me here to be “Please forgive me for my sins” nasty. Time is not only money. Time is hoeing. 


Going on multiple dates every month is not hoeing. Just because you’re speed dating does not mean you’re living your best life. The phrase “Living your best life” is for hoes use only. It’s reserved for hoes only because a true to the game hoe invented it for us in the hoe community. Don’t be out here wasting our phrase on your boring ass dates at Olive Garden and the movies. You not hoeing you wasting time and money. 


This probably the most frustrating shit about fake hoes. It’s like seeing Beyonce wear a maga hat. Nothing annoys me more than when I’m finally fucking with a woman for the first time and she not nasty at all after she hyped up her nastiness. I’VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED! HOODWINKED! SWINDLED!!!!! All those nasty tweets these fake hoes be sending out is CAP!!!! YES I DID IT!! I SAID CAP FOR THE FIRST TIME! AND IT WAS IN A POST ABOUT HOEING! I’M PROUD OF MYSELF! This is how disgusted I am about fake nastiness. They hype up their nastiness on social media and in texts then I’m like “Okay bet. Fuck it up then!” We finally get to that moment and I’m like “Okay I can’t fuck around. Shorty gone try and wear a nigga out. She gone try and showoff.” Moments later I realize that I’m the only nasty mothafucka in this room. I’m okay with that if I know shorty not on my level and she never pretended to be. That’s cool and happens all the time. But when I have my expectations high because of the shit they were talking and they fuck game is mid it just knocks the life outta me. Fake hoes get they titties and tongue pierced and think they the filthiest in the streets by default. It’s all an illusion. The pierced titties and tongue have fooled us. They’ve betrayed me one time too many. 


Fucking with somebody who said they were nasty and wasn’t is like the last episode of Fresh Prince when Will was standing in that empty ass living room. It’s like going out of town with somebody who lame as fuck and wanna leave early to the hotel for everything. You got niggas out here scared to lick coochie and feet. Nigga it’s 2018. Every nigga who eaten pussy has eaten ass, especially on a drunk night. They not that far apart. They neighbors fam. When I say I’m biting booties I really do that. Eating coochie in public? I’ve been there done that. I love eating coochie under tables just as much as I love Jodeci. If Shorty in front of me looking like a fixed plate with all the food touching that means everything getting ate. EVERYTHING! I’m real life nasty. I gauge nastiness like this. I just determine if shorty is near or at Jazmine Cashmere level. That’s the perfect nastiness meter. 


Fake hoes are the biggest attention whores ever. They acting only for attention. I hate a “look at me look at me” mothafucka. When I say I’m nasty that means I’m nasty for ME. It gives me satisfaction. When fake hoes say they’re nasty that means they’re pretending to be nasty for an audience. We not the same and never will be. 


Fake hoes don’t stand out. They blend in cause they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. There are quiet hoes in the streets but even they stand out because you can feel their hoe aura like a anime character. You sense their presence. You just give them a simple head nod of respect and acknowledge that you see them. Fake hoes they don’t really have sauce like that. This hoe life is more than ya clothes, pictures, and captions. 


Don't be a fake hoe. Just be yourself. 


Follow us on twitter and instagram 




Listen to the blog podcast Polite Coolery.