You got all types. People who post pics of dead bodies for likes. Posting pictures in hospitals. Fishing for viral success. Saying dumb shit for attention. The shit is disease.

Here the clout chasing bitches that annoy me. 


All I asked you for was what time the function start. I didn’t fucking ask you if you knew this creative or famous nigga nor your connection to them. The person nuts they on can dip a chicken strip in some ranch and they’ll announce that shit to the world like they found the code to Instagram’s algorithm. Half the time the person nuts they hugging don’t even fucking know them. Quit swinging from people nuts like Tarzan. They not your “bro.” They’re not your “sis.” They don’t fucking know you dawg and their lives is going along great without you. These niggas like a nigga who never had a fly fit before or some nice kicks and make it a point to let you know that they’re wearing the shit. Then every Thursday they posting the throwback picture of them in the fit. We get it nigga. You never been wavy. Quit tossing niggas names around like DMX naming his bitches. We don’t give a fuck my nigga. What the fuck are YOU doing?  


The fuck you mean “yall money?” Boy you out here starving. These the niggas you really gotta keep your pupils on because they’ll try to backdoor a nigga. These niggas stand next to get money niggas in photos, post em on the internet and try to portray to the world that they getting money too. Nah you bozo. We not buying that just like yo ass not able to buy shit. They see a nigga juggin and think that’s their money too because a nigga said what’s up to em or because they know them. Jay-Z said it best. These are Imaginary Players. They try to get a name off the get money niggas. You wasn’t in the trenches with em. You didn’t make no plays like the waterboy. Pack ya shit and go with all that “We gettin it” shit. Ol “We got about 200 dollars huh Deebo” headass. Once niggas call them out on the shit these niggas try to set niggas up on some weak shit. Standing next to the trappers not gone make these bitches want you nor make money appear in your pockets. These niggas can’t wait to show they money on Instagram. It’s always these guys. 


Imagine you minding your business. Not moving foul. Handling things in your life making sure you got your shit together and you got a crumb ass nigga or bitch making up fake scenarios on how you did them wrong. Making up excuses of why they want the fade. They know who you are but you have no clue who they are. Never heard of em cause they not making no moves. You ever come across people who dislike you and you had NO CLUE they existed. Duck ass niggas and bitches miserable stalking your social media. Talking to themselves about you making the Arthur fist every time they see you or someone mentions you. Just a bunch bitches and niggas who don’t own shit but social media accounts. Just grade A clown shit. All for some fucking attention and the lack of attention they’re getting. It’s always over attention, money, or who you fucking or all 3. Every fucking time. These mothafuckas be jealous as fuck typing paragraphs about you in DM’s and texts. Like I tell all these herbs. You catching a fade from me or jumping me ain’t gone stop any shorty from fucking with me or any attention I get. You just ain’t got the sauce. I’m a boss. I look better, my personality better, I fuck these shorties better, shit they’ll even tell you I taste better, my conversation better, my name actually mean something out here. You was hating for nothing, these bitches still fuck with me. These weirdos will literally see you winning and try to come at you on some extra shit and they always try to make their made up beef with you public so everybody can see and try to get points off your name. Regardless if you can score points off my name or not, a lame bitch is a lame bitch and a lame nigga is a lame nigga. No clout can remove that stain off your jacket. You damaged goods. No matter what you do. If you gotta make somebody look bad for yourself to feel good or look good then you’ll always be the corniest nigga in every room you walk in.


Bitch you grew up a driveway and a 2 garages the fuck you mean you catching high speeds? Fuck outta here. All for some attention. You niggas can use all the Jizzle Buckz lingo you want. You not built like that. You didn’t grow up around that environment. Hanging with your cousins from the hood don’t count you fucking lames. Stop trying to live through them. I don’t give a fuck if everybody on that block know your name nigga you never went to school over there and never received a piece of mail there. Nigga you ain’t from the North your Granny is nigga. That’s her house not yours. You from St.Ann stop fucking playing. These mothafuckas grow up with opportunities people dream of just to throw it away to try and look cool. None of that shit cool anyway so you even stupider for believing it is. Nobody give a fuck about the hoods you pull up at. Nobody give a fuck about your guns. All you gone do is do some dumb shit with the gun that’s gone have you in a grave or doing life like a dumb fuck. Here’s the fucked up part. Those the niggas you need to strap up for. Those the niggas that will mug you. Those the niggas that will try you first. Trigger happy cause they listen to NBA Youngboy. Official street niggas don’t move like these middle class gangstas. You can walk through the city with no issues low key if you just minding your business. Try walking through the county. I bet money them lil niggas out there gone test you and try and get on that dumb shit with you. They have no grip on reality at all until it’s too late. These dumb niggas think punk shit is tough shit and think being a G is doing dumb shit. 


So the fuck what? You ever come across people who make it a point to let you know who they slept with? They tell you everything to the point you know the person’s blood type. Nobody cares. You don’t look cooler. That’s not going to get you any money or praise. Any person impressed with who another person based on who they fucked is weird. Moe could tell me “Aye Benny I fucked Doja Cat” I’ll ask how the titties were from a scale of 1 to 10 and change the subject. That is all. Using the fact you slept with someone to try and make yourself look cool or demean the person you fucked is extra lame too. There’s some women I wished I never fucked with. I made a mistake. It happens. But if a woman try to embarrass me for doing so that makes her look lamer than me. It’s usually niggas on that type of time though. Fucking another person partner not a badge of honor. You don’t improve in life or as a person by doing so. It’s just sex. Anyway. Good for you. You fucked *fill in the blank* and you still scrounging up loose change for a McDouble. Keep up the bad work. 


Hoping from clique to clique not gone do shit for you. Get off niggas waves. Every time you look up these weirdos claiming another clique. They see somebody doing they thing they gotta go stand next to them and all of sudden become besties. Muhfuckas be as clingy as an ex I swear. People don’t go where they want they go where they think it’s cool and accepted by strangers and improve their name just by association. Bitches don’t have a mind of their own. When on this type of shit you accept all the fake shit that come with it just so your name can be next to relevance. At what cost though? Shit not worth it. If the cool leaves you when you stand alone then you need to reevaluate your life. 


Follow us on twitter and instagram 




Listen to the blog podcast Polite Coolery.