THE DAY AFTER LOVE DAY.

This is dedicated to the people who were sad on February 14th because they were alone. The people who hate Valentine’s Day because of their dating status. If you hate Valentine’s Day because of something traumatic like the loss of a loved one or something very horrific happening to you on that day or near that day then I understand. This is dedicated to the people who feel the world is ending because they were single yesterday. 

Love day is over. The world is still spinning. Life goes on. See? 

What Valentine’s Day stands for today is confusing. It revolves around relationships only when it’s about giving and receiving love overall. It’s not even a real holiday but I digress. I don’t even celebrate holidays. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love overall. If you happen to be in a relationship, great. If you’re single, great. It shouldn’t make a difference because it should be about showing love to everyone you love. 

I don’t like when people base their value as a human on their relationship status. They are seriously broken people with confidence issues, self esteem issues, they care what other people think and likely do not understand what self love is. I say this with love, please seek help and do a lot of internal work because your relationship status and sense of loneliness on love day is the least of your problems. It’s just the beginning. If you don’t address it will grow and spread and deteriorate your mental and physical health.

Self love is the issue because confidence and self esteem can’t strengthen without loving yourself. You do not give a fuck what anybody thinks about your life when you love yourself. Caring what other people think is linked to not believing you’re good enough. You truly believe people are going to see you and think “Look at them. Another V-Day and they’re still lonely.” If someone truly said that about you I guarantee you are doing better at life than they are because that is loser energy. 

When you are comfortable with who you are no matter your relationship status, that's when you love yourself. 

Let’s really address the elephant in the room. I have a question. If you were able to celebrate Valentine’s Day but you couldn’t take a picture. You couldn’t take a video. You couldn’t share it on the internet. All you could have was your memories. If that were the circumstances would you care about Valentine’s Day? A lot of you will say “Of course I would” but I know it’s a lie. If you couldn’t show people that you have a partner on Valentine’s Day it would eat you alive because it has nothing to do with your own happiness. It has more to do with “Look at me look at me. I have someone too!” It’s all about acceptance. Not acceptance from your valentine but acceptance from the public. It’s like showing off a trophy. Unfortunately that’s where our society is today. If we don’t share it that means it didn’t happen. We prioritize sharing over meaning. 

There’s people that didn’t even know they had dating issues until yesterday. They weren’t thinking about these issues in October. Once February hit that’s when they thought about it and by this time next week the man or woman you were complaining about will be a distant memory. You will go back to normal. Whether it was an ex that you couldn't connect with or a person you thought you were vibing with and they didn’t feel the same for you. Whatever it is, it's not genuine because it’s all based on this fake holiday. It’s all because you don’t want to be alone. You don't want to feel left out because you see your family and friends posting their flowers, their gifts, and their joy (which might be fake joy just for that day). 

I don’t care about Valentine’s Day or any holiday that has more to do with my former religion where we didn’t celebrate holidays at all but I never rain on parades so I show love regardless. When I did celebrate holidays I had the same mentality about holidays. They were just another day. I only give a fuck about people birthdays. 

You matter. Not because of what you do or didn't do. You matter because you have an opportunity to make a change within. You are here with the opportunity to love yourself. You’re not undeserving of love and care. Stop discounting your worth. You’re going to have people in this world that are going to attempt to do that for you. Don’t help them add to that. You have the right to be YOU. You are here to evolve. Your humanity is not a math problem. Not everything is something to figure out or solve. Focus on your growth as a human and you will see the love for yourself continue to blossom day by day, flaws and all. 

I’ll leave you with this. How much do you really respect yourself when your happiness is based on other people's hearts and minds more than your own?  At the end of the day whether you have a partner or not you are the only one that can walk that path when it comes to self respect and self love. Think about that and work on YOU. 

Love, Benny