It was about 3 years ago. I stumbled into my house drunker than a bitch. Henny was the culprit and I just went straight to my bed and passed out.
The next morning I get a text from a woman I met from last night and she was checking up on me because I was so fucked up. I responded back that I was good and for the next few days we were texting each other.
She was cool and pretty but we had NOTHING in common. I'm a music/Anime nerd she's the super popular pretty girl type. The shit I'm interested in she was not into and all we had was a physical attraction. Regardless I stayed in contact with her. Shit, she was bad I gotta at least test drive ya feel me?
We met up for drinks and Jesus christ I was bored out of my mind. I felt so bad. I like women who can make me laugh whether it's if they're really goofy or really witty. She was neither. I was a gentlemen I didn't bail out. The drinks had my mind elsewhere so I was chilling. I didn't even want to try and fuck anymore. I just wanted to go home.
After the date she would text me and I just ignored her texts. I moved on without letting her know. At the time I don't know what I was on. I'm really an upfront person. If I'm not feeling something I'll tell you right away but for some reason I just ignored the fuck outta her.
I just went ghost on her. Back then I didn't give it much thought but a couple years later I understood how immature my actions were.
I've ran into her since then and I've apologized for my actions because it was really scummy for me to act like that.
Moral of the story. Ghosting is some bitch ass shit.
There's been women I've dealt with in my lifetime that DESERVED ghosting from me but I still handled it like a man supposed to and kept it honest. Unless she does something super violent and super crazy just keep it honest.
So if they .....
- Send you 5 straight text messages after you just met an hour ago
- Talk about marriage and you've only known them a week
- Are very annoying
- Ruined the dates you've gone on
- Might be super confrontational about your honesty
Just let them know that you're not interested in pursuing anything.
Why talking > Ghosting
GHOSTING IS IMMATURE
I can see this happening in high school and maybe college but if you're grown (22 and up) doing this it's sad. It takes a lot for people to text that they're interested in you believe it or not. They're putting their feelings on the line. The least you could do is acknowledge them.
GHOSTING = HOLDING FEELINGS & TIME HOSTAGE
By ignoring people you're not helping the situation at all. They're clearly interested in you so they don't see anyone else so their time and feelings are invested in YOU. Now of course they probably still get hit on everyday by other people but he or she doesn't see them because you exist in their life.
The right person for them they could possibly turn away because they're interested in you but you're too weak to be real with them. Let them know what's up so they can stop texting you and they can move on.
You texting someone everyday and go on dates then you just disappear, that's just so disrespectful, childish, and cowardly. Imagine how you would feel if it was done to you. You think you have a connection with someone then they just disappear. You'd feel like a fool and hurt like a muhfucka.
GHOSTING MAKES PEOPLE MINDS WANDER
They don't know if it's something they've done. They don't know if they've hurt you. They don't know if your seriously hurt. They don't know if you're upset with them or not. It's so many scenarios that will run through her head just because you weren't upfront about anything. They don't know how to react to the situation because they don't know the circumstances.
GHOSTING DESTROYS CONFIDENCE
Some people can't help but blame themselves in situations like this. They feel like they aren't good enough on the account of an asshole who can't act like an adult. They start to question themselves and replay every moment they've had with you to try and find something that may have caused this behavior.
Makes you not want to even try dating anymore.
IF YOU CAN TALK. YOU CAN COMMUNICATE
I'm terrible at communicating but what I mean by that is that I have trouble finding the right words to express my feelings so I'll say different words and sometimes it comes off very dumb and goofy. Regardless I'm still going to tell you how I feel. I just wish I could articulate it better.
Saying you're bad at communicating is a shitty excuse. If you're able to talk then you're able to tell someone you're not feeling them. Even if it's something like texting "Don't text me no more" that's better than nothing. It's an asshole move but it's honest and that person knows not to waste their time anymore.
Being ghosted is trash but don't trip off of it. Just know that you deserve and will find better in this world. The people that do it are weak, not you. =)
Love, Benny available now.