PURCHASE YOUR KRIBMAS TIX HERE
TIS THE SEASON OF SAUSE
I'm excited. You're excited. It's Holiday Seaaaaaaaasonnnnnnnnnn AYE! *OJ The Juiceman voice*
Kids finessing the Christmas lists. Sneaking around the crib trying to find gifts their fam hid until the 25th. Babies getting their pictures taken with the fat red guy. People are nice to each other except when they're shopping, some of you hoes vicious in those aisles and checkout lines. It's just a flatscreen bruh. Chill.
Besides that it's called the most wonderful time of the year and just when you thought this shit couldn't get any more wavy it does. All thanks to Zero.
Not this Zero from Mega Man X
He's trill as fuck too but I'm talking bout the Nada Squad. The Zilch Gang. The Nil Team. The Goose Egg Group. Zero muhfuckin Fatigue.
We might have to start calling him Smino Skellington because just like in the classic film "Nightmare Before Christmas" Smino creates his own Christmas celebration with "Kribmas."
Merry Kribmas Nuggah! *Pinky voice*
You're making your gingerbread houses. Good. You're baking those cookies. Glo up! You watching your favorite Christmas movie. Tight! My favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard." You can now add "Kribmas" to your tradition list.
Now, just in case you're being a Grinch ass nigga or a bozo like Marv and Henry from the Home Alone movies. I'm going to give you some reasons to slide that ass down in your hoopty sleigh to the Old Rock House on December 23rd. Shit gone be lit like Rudolph nose.
THE OLD ROCK HOUSE FEE-FEE'S
I'm sure if you were around 2010-2012 and you were on the STL scene. You know that the Old Rock House used to be the fuckin spot. The MadeMonarch Era. The years where the waves of rappers like Krit, Dom, Chip, Gibbs, Wiz, Spitta were beginning we were in the Old Rock House damn near every month experiencing dope music. All the shows were flames. I saw prime 501 Jean "How Fly" Wiz in this venue.
I haven't been to the Old Rock House in 4 years. What better way to end the drought with all of you and my nigga Smino? I can't wait to feel that feeling again of just vibing with all of you and enjoying a great show.
I had some of my best memories of the music scene in St.Louis at this venue and if you never been there you get to experience what I felt 4 years ago.
LET A FINE TING RUIN YOUR LIFE
I usually roll to everything solo so to all my niggas who roll deep looking for a place to turn up where all the shorty's asses are like grapefruits you're in luck. They will be at Kribmas.
Buy your tix. Talk yo shit to her and let her fine ass ruin your life somehow. All the art honey's aka Crystal girls will be there. Hood girls. Quiet girls. Rich girls. Nigga you name it. It's a buffet. Let them improve your chakra. Don't you want to be in a room full of fine tings who smell like cocoa butter and hope? Of course you fuckin do.
You know damn well when "Lemon Pon Goose" gets performed and those fine tings get the winding you gone be glad you pulled up.
Better quit playing and come to the Old Rock House for your "Kribmas" shopping. Your future art bae will probably be in the building.
If you're smart like me you'll do my next suggestion and that's......
CHANCE TO USE A MISTLETOE
Just walk up to all the shorty's with a mistletoe. Perfect ice breaker. Thank me later champ.
JAY2, BRYANT STEWART, DJ JTR3Y
My nigga DJ JTR3Y will be on the 1's and 2's and he'll have the spot crackin. That's automatic like a wide open Chef Curry.
Bryant Stewart just dropped a dope EP recently and I want to see how it translates live and that nigga got gummy burrs. Who don't fuck with gummy burrs? You definitely are not going to want to miss his set.
Now onto this nigga Jay2.
I seen him first perform at the Blk Juptr show and I thought "I can't wait til this nigga drop some shit.
Well almost a year later......
This Noob Saibot from Mortal Kombat head ass nigga didn't drop nothing. I'm low key mad cause this nigga cold as fuck. I want anybody reading this shit to find this nigga. Lock him in Classick Studios with Monte and don't let this nigga leave until he come out with the yoga flame I know he capable of. He gotta feed the streets.
THE MAYOR AND NELLY WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE
The Mayor of St.Louis and Nelly will be at "Kribmas." They are both one person and it's Adrian "Octavius" Walker. You know if my nigga at the event it's stamped. Come get your chance to shake a famous person's hand. Forreal tho that's my G. Can't wait to run into him.
You know you don't want to go to that weak ass holiday office party. You don't even like Garrett from Accounting. Fuck what he talking bout. Go get a fire ass fit from D.N.A. Slide to a pregame. Hit the tree, take a couple shots and pull up to the Old Rock House.
YOU NEVER KNOW AT A ZERO SHOW
Last Smino show I was at I saw a mono contest. A drunk white girl dance off beat then proceed to explain to me why she dances off beat then I seen a guy stretched out on the ground in front of the venue like Deebo on Stanley's front lawn.
You never know what you'll see at a Zero show.
It's "Swnssn" and I know you can't wait to see him perform this jam. He might even do a new joint you haven't heard off his upcoming debut album. You not missing that bruh.
THIS IS ST.LOUIS
Everybody doubting us. EVERYBODY. It's cool. We gone roll one up and put our best pair of Forces forward. We just gonna give em that work regardless. This is St.Louis and like Andre 3000 said at the 1995 Source Awards when they doubted and boo'd Outkast, St.Louis got something to say!
They'll see this upcoming new year. They cant stop something that supposed to happen. The laws of the universe are always constant. It's always moving. All the dope shit you see coming out of St.Louis will be in the forefront sooner or later.
I need all of you here in St.Louis to sell this muhfucka out. If you miss this night you are fuckin souped. Fuck work, call off. They don't like you and you wanna quit anyway. Kribmas is your first step to living a life of doing what the fuck you want.
Kribmas came early. All sause under the tree.