This movie is old enough to buy a whiskey on the rocks. 21 years ago this movie was released and 21 years later I watched A Goofy Movie last night for the 98,068th time. I would like to share with you my random thoughts while watching this timeless film.
DANCING = BITCHES
If you start dancing you'll have to change your middle name from Jebediah to bitches. Max wasn't getting any play from the girls. No respect from his peers. He fell into the "I don't have the look of a nerd. I'm not a nerd but they think I'm a nerd" category. When you dance. You get bitches. It's science. Some women don't like guys who dance. Those women miserable anyway don't pay them any attention. When you see that guy who was the best dancer at the party he's gonna be the one with the momentum to choose whatever woman he wants. Max pulled a stunt where he was able to showcase his dance moves in front of the whole school and after it was over he earned a date with the girl he liked and another girl acting like groupie when he walked out of school. He now had the respect of the whole school and could choose ANY woman he wanted to be with because he could dance. Max went from nobody to king in just a few hours. A win for us socially awkward people.
HI MOM..... WAIT
Nobody has a mom except characters we don't know. Where the fuck is everybody's moms? Walt Disney movies always on that shit. Either the mom is dying or never there. Max had no mom. PJ had no mom. Roxanne had no mom. What the fuck is going on? They out cheating or something?
GOOFY SHOULD'VE BEAT THAT PRINCIPAL'S ASS
Prinicpal Mazer calls Goofy at his job to tell him about the dancing stunt Max pulled and told him he needs to reevaluate how he's raising Max before Max ends up in the electric chair. I would've kindly clocked out of work. Drive to my son's school. Tell him you're going to another school because I after I get done with this bitch ass principal, I'll be banned from school grounds and you won't be allowed to go there anymore.
GOOFY AND PETE NEED COUNSELING ON PARENTING
Goofy and Pete neglect their kids emotionally in different ways. Pete is just a fucking asshole to PJ. He doesn't encourage him. Fucks up his self esteem. He bully's his own kid. Doesn't even care to understand him because PJ is a slave to him not his child. PJ has no confidence because of his fat punk ass dad. Pete has no business having a child nor giving Goofy advice on how to raise one.
Goofy is a pushover who cares for his child but doesn't make an effort to understand or consider Max's feelings either. Goofy assumes Max will be into the same things he was when he was Max's age, so he does things without Max's input and that pushes Max further away from him. Goofy planned a road trip without even asking Max. I know he's the parent but with things like that you have to compromise with a kid Max's age. Goofy finally understood Max in the end because they actually had a conversation. Something they should've done a long time ago.
Goofy needs to ask for a raise in pay. Pete riding around in a RV with a jacuzzi, bowling alley, patio, basketball court and Goldeneye boss type fish tanks inside it. Pete was on some Diddy shit with that RV.
I would like to have a Powerline sweatsuit to wear to Vibes. Vibes is an art show. July 30th by the way. St.Louis, Missouri. You should come. It's not your typical art show. We turn the fuck up.
The songs in this movie are so catchy. This soundtrack is crazy. The duet with Goofy and Max (My favorite song) at the end was written so corny but so good at the same time. If Disney would've released a Powerline album back then I'm sure it would've sold millions of copies. Thanks to the legendary Tevin Campbell.
How in the hell did that car fall off a waterfall and be able to still run and make it back across the country? A true mystery.