I was asked for advice from an acquaintance about his situation with a young lady he’s interested in. They’ve been on a few dates but the way he described the dates they didn’t sound too serious to me. Sounded like they just hung out. They text each other quite a bit but who doesn’t these days? He wants to date her and pursue something further but she doesn’t. He was confused by that because he was a perfect gentleman towards her. He’s young I gave him a pass. I told him ….
"Leave her the fuck alone. Find another woman."
I had to paint the picture for the homie. The girl he interested in is interested in someone else. She probably into a guy that doesn’t take her on dates and doesn’t text her much. The complete opposite of him. She’s probably not interested in no one. Either way it doesn’t matter who she's interested in. The bottom line is he’s the nice guy she’s not into.
What’s “The Nice Guy?” I’m talking the urban definition of “The Nice Guy.”
He’s the guy that sends “Good Morning” texts.
There’s a rule I have about good morning texts. If you haven’t been intimate with that woman more than once, don’t send good morning texts. Ever. I’m not saying this rule is right but your good morning texts are gems and a symbol that the shit you're doing is going somewhere. If she asks for them and you know she’s into you then yeah send em but if not just wake up and brush ya teeth pal.
He’s the guy that always buys shit.
Buying flowers. Lunches. Edible arrangements. Concert tickets. Running her errands with her wasting YOUR gas. Why are you coming out of pocket for a woman that you’re not sure she is interested in you in THAT way? Yeah.. THAT way. I’m a man that plays the odds. If the odds not looking good in these situations. I’m falling back. Way the fuck back.
He’s the guy that’s easily accessible.
You’re easy to find. Easy to figure out. You’re predictable. She knows if she texts you that your response time is immaculate. You'd drop everything for her. My nigga.... why?
He’s the guy that agrees
He agrees to everything she does. That’s boring as fuck. I don’t know if this sounds crazy but there has to be some type of contrast between me and a woman. We both can’t be interested in all the same things. We can’t agree on everything.
Don’t agree with everything for the sake of agreeing. If you disagree with a woman you’re interested in then voice that to her. What’s the worse that can happen? A debate?
Stop pretending to be interested in shit she interested in. You know damn well you don’t give a fuck about more than half the tv shows she watch and the music she listens to. Nobody wants to be with a doormat they can walk all over except insecure people.
Basically in society the nice guy is the boring guy. I’m not saying it’s right but that’s the perception today.
There is nothing wrong with the things I stated above (Except the agreeing shit). Sending good morning texts, buying flowers, being accessible. All good things but here’s the punchline that most dudes who are nice guys who keep whining about women who don't like them don’t seem to understand.
You can do all that shit but IF SHE’S NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU SHE’S JUST NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU!
You could be the perfect guy but if she’s not attracted to you then there’s nothing you can do to change that. More nice gestures is not gonna make her go “He’s so nice. I guess I can give him some pussy now.”
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
Stop watching TV and movies you’re not going to win her over and make her change her mind about being attracted to you by doing more nice shit. I’m speaking from my experiences so I know there’s always exceptions to what I say but I believe a woman knows if she would or would not fuck a guy the moment that guy shows interest in her. The only questions left is “When” and “Will he fuck this situation up for himself in between time?"
It doesn’t matter if you think she’s making a mistake by passing up on you. That’s for her to deal with not you. Move the fuck on. There’s billions of other women. You’ll be okay. There’s women out there that will fucking worship the fucking ground you walk on and vice versa.
Just because you’re a nice guy doesn’t mean a woman has to be with you. News flash! BEING A NICE HUMAN IS SOME SHIT YOU SUPPOSED TO DO! You want a cookie for being a gentleman? I don’t know where this entitlement came from.
Yes….. I know you see the woman you’re interested in say “There’s no more good men in the world” or “I want a nice guy” and you’re sitting there reading that Facebook status, tweet, or Instagram post like “DAMN YOU DON’T SEE ME?!” Nope she doesn’t my pal. She doesn’t want to see you. You’re reading this after you just texted her 20 minutes ago. Your heart is getting ripped in half like Ralph Wiggum after Lisa Simpson curved him on live television.
What she said is true in HER world. The problem is that she didn’t finish her sentence. What she really meant to say is “I want a nice guy that I’m ATTRACTED to and better than you.” I know that hurts but it’s real. Those statements could also serve as subliminal shots to the guy she really likes who lacks some nice guy qualities. Some women like to change men. Let me give you an example of what I’ve seen.
Let’s say there’s a guy who’s about 80% selfish savage and 20% nice guy. The woman is going to try to get him down to the 60/40 or 50/50 range. She can live with that. Trust me, I’ve seen this shit.
There’s a saying that’s been around as long as I can remember. “Nice guys finish last.” It’s not true. The nice guy actually has a better chance at having a better woman and overall peace of mind than the savage guy. So in the end the nice guy will get a W. A win that’s worth the wait. Don’t try and become a savage. You are who you are. If you try to be a savage you’re just going to revert back to being a nice guy. Savagery is not in you. Always be you.
Nice guys don’t finish last. Boring bitch niggas finish last. Always remember that.
Be a man. A man that has his own mind, a man who doesn’t follow, a man capable of being a leader in his own life. If a woman not feeling you then you have to have the confidence of “Oh well I’m that nigga, that's her loss" and move on. Have your own fucking life. Have control over it. A woman doesn’t want to lead you. You think a woman wants to lay in the arms of a nigga who can’t lead her? They want a man who they know will handle his business in everything he does.
You're a nice guy..... so what? Being a nice guy isn’t good enough. You gotta be a legend. You gotta be great.