We don’t catch feelings, we catch flights. Jet Life.
First thing on the agenda.
Can someone put that flight attendant on my flights? I’m usually never comfortable flying but if she’s just giving away hand jobs I’m sure I could get real cozy. Afterwards let a black woman beat her ass for those president comments. She not leaving the plane until she runs the fade.
It’s time to upscale our traveling.
LAST TRAIN TO ……..
Prentice heads to Union Station to meet with a travel agent. Travel agents go beyond to maximize your vacation experience. In John’s case he can hook up champagne with a kangaroo. I’m afraid of Kangaroo’s so that’s a no go for me. I’ve never seen a Kangaroo lose a fight to a human so I wants no part of that.
Now I know you’re thinking “Damn people still use travel agents?” That is a very understandable question with it being 2017 and you can do everything by yourself but for a lazy mothafucka such as myself a travel agent is heaven sent. I get bad anxiety when I plan trips because I’m so afraid I’m going to fuck something up. I’d let a travel agent plan shit for me and if he or she fucks up I’d probably get a free trip out of the deal. Beats getting nothing if I book it and mess up.
JUST IN CASE THE SUN RAYS HATIN
Prentice pays a visit to Nine Five to upscale his sunglasses. These not those liquor store Clearance Carter “I be stroking” shades. Nine Five has that real high quality for their customers.
I’ve never bought a pair of sunglasses in my life but I can’t lie those Cleon from “Dead Presidents” clear frames looked fire. Along with those Dwayne Wayne glasses. I always wanted those glasses that flip from shades to clear frames mainly because of Raphael Saddiq wore them in the “It Never Rains In Southern California” music video.
I’m traveling out of the country for the first time very soon so I have to buy my first pair of sunglasses.
PACK LIGHT…. *ERYKAH BADU VOICE*
The second half of the episode is where I disagreed a lot. Except the beard thing. I can’t grow a beard either homie and I cry every night about it. I’m the beardless friend in the group that has to fly to the vagina my friends can just walk to.
Prentice goes to this fancy luggage shop. The leather luggage looks great but the backpack shaming I couldn’t agree with. I travel with a backpack because if I had a duffel, the chances of me leaving it behind and losing it are super high. I’m a forgetful person and the book bag is on my back so it’s hard for me to misplace it and I don’t like carrying luggage with my hands everywhere when I travel. My traveling backpack not cheap either. It cost me some money.
A backpack is more convenient so that’s why a lot of people still use them for travel. Now do I want luggage that looks like I’m smuggling tasty hooch during the prohibition era and people think I’m the notorious beer baron? Of course! Leather luggage will make you feel fly. You walk through the airport with that leather duffel people will stop you in your tracks to shine your shoes. You look like money! If I purchase luggage like that I’d only use it on special trips.
CHANGE CLOTHES AND GO
Prentice goes to a stylist to upscale his travel wardrobe.
Okay I kinda disagree with this part too. I’m all about coziness. Planes aren’t as cozy as they used to be when I was growing up. Not one of those outfits Prentice tried on looked airplane cozy. Trust me when I get fresh. I get fresh but the way things are today with traveling it’s tough. A blartigan just not gonna cut it for me. I can’t see me trading in the hoodie for the blartigan.
I think people mainly dress down because of how much of a pain in the ass airport security is. Just getting through security is stressful as it is and people want to get through as fast as possible so they wear sweats. I don’t think I’ve ever wore anything other than sweats on a flight because I’m trying to be super comfortable. Just like with the luggage it depends on where I’m traveling to if I would style and profile on the plane.
Now dressing up for a train ride I could do. The seats on the train are way more comfortable than a plane to me. I can go all out for that with clothes and my luggage.
I have one more question before I go.
Why didn’t any of the fellas have on a Lyle Lanley hat to go see the horse races? You can't watch the horse races without a Lyle Lanley hat! Actually Lyle Lanley whole fucking outfit on The Simpsons was pretty fresh!