*Picks up the mic*
FINALLY BENNY HAS COME BACK TO INSECURE SUNDAY NIGHTS!
Awwwwwww I missed all you muhfuckas cause you all my muhfuckas! The #LawrenceHive President is back. We had the internet going nuts with the #LawrenceHive video and we back baby. Shoutout to everybody that retweeted that masterpiece of a sermon I spoke on that video. Now I ain’t gone waste another second.
#LawrenceHive dust of your best buy jersey's……….. and get in formation. Season 2 has begun. THE G.O.A.T’S ARE BACK BAYBEEEEEEE!!!!!
Good news fellow #LawrenceHive members our leader impeccable aura is still on the mind of Issa Dee to the point she having hallucinations and seeing our G.O.A.T in forms of other men who are nowhere near worthy of the great one they call Lawrence.
This scene was interesting because immediately we see Issa in a place she hasn’t been in for 5 years. The getting to know you stage. Now when you my age you like fuck all that shit come over here and like me and if you crazy then fuck it we’ll deal with it when we get there but the process of dating can be really annoying. In Issa’s case none of them are Lawrence so these men lost the battle before it was fought. They never had a chance. Larenz Tate mixed with Jesus and a herd of unicorns could’ve been sitting across from Issa and she would’ve turned that man down. The love for the G.O.A.T was that strong.
MOLLY PLEADS THE FIFTH
Molly is at the therapist and she not talking like a stand up nigga who wouldn’t snitch on the squad and ready to take those 10 years for the crime. This not helping her at all because without opening up her nor the therapist can’t get to the root of her issues. I like Molly as a character she’s probably my favorite because she has so many layers to her personality and her life. I’m interested in either what’s going to make her open up to her therapist or will she just give up on therapy and try to fix the situation herself. So far both Issa and Molly are in weird positions in their life. Life on E.
WELCOME BACK G.O.A.T
I’m a God fearing man. I love Jesus. I really do. Even though I’ve also been praying to Lawrence cause he’s a God to me also I love the Original O.G God too. He’s the big guy and when you pray to God and Lawrence with a splash of Jesus what do you get? Titties. That’s right Titties on the first episode of Season 2. You gotta understand I waited 8 episodes for those titties the first season and they came at the buzzer beater Lawrence made and of course I was elated. I fell to my knees in total praise. I even started doing those mime praise dances you see in churches now. But to see those titties in all their glorious glory had me like……
As a member of the Zaddy club also (which is a club that you put it down so good you get the woman to call you Zaddy without telling her too) I’ve been in this situation. The classic weekend shack up. She’s so into you that she don’t give a fuck about seeing the light of day. She cooks or orders the takeout and you just layup all weekend and bounce Sunday. Lawrence the G.O.A.T is happy. Just look at the King. Smiling. Laughing. Just beating it from the side like a bass drum. All this joy and the nigga is homeless and he doesn’t care. But like his homie told him. He gotta switch it up. Gotta take her out. It’s all about keeping everything in harmony you don’t wanna be routine. Gotta keep Queen Tasha and the royal titties happy and on their toes.
WORK LIFE <<<<
Work life looking kinda trash for the ladies right now. Issa is having a tough time getting the high school students to engage with the “We Got Y’all” program. Molly is the best lawyer at her firm and a white boy sitting back and collecting checks like a injured sports player under contract while Molly is getting underpaid. You see that white boy at the work function THAT BOY WAS UN FUCKING BOTHERED and talking all shit about that woman who was leaving! Molly gotta rob him of some of dat privilege like O-Dog in Menace. She’s in a weird spot because if she speak up about it they’re gonna think she’s ungrateful and stereotype her as the black woman who speaks her mind and try to hold that against her. Meanwhile Issa still dealing with her hateful ass co-workers with these racial undertones and students still not showing up for her program and stealing her snacks like they Stacy from The Wood.
WINE AND BIG B'S
The Wine Down aka "I need The G.O.A.T back in my life" party is going down and niggas chilling drinking Carlo Rossi like a prime E-40 song. Fuck fancy wine bring out that Rossi! But since the dawn of man we all know. A party aint a party until the gangstas show up. You saw how everybody got loose once it got brackin! More drank. More blunts. My nigga called Kelli “Bute” and on the strength of that she gotta link up with that nigga. That was the greatest line in the history of dating. The function cut short when the classic party fire starter happens And I think everyone has seen something like it where either somebody ashes the blunt in the trash can or dropped it in the trash can and something catches fire. In the end in Issa’s eyes the Wine Down is a failure.
P.S Kelli I have never been burped but my DM’s are wide the fuck open like a rookie Randy Moss. I’m curious.
KING LAWRENCE AWW NAW WHAT ARE YOU DOIN BABY?
Now this mail situation. At first I was like no King it’s a trap don’t do it! And he didn’t he sent the dagger “Mail it to me” text that officially ruined Issa’s night. Ahhh yes the oldest trick in the playbook. Well done King. You gotta keep your distance. Continue to be indifferent. He made the right choice and took Queen Tasha out for some popcorn shrimp rolls to keep her happy let her eat good and get some fresh air. The G.O.A.T’s execution right now is looking flawless. All that is left is the new crib/kingdom and it’s poppin!!
Out the blue Lawrence shows up to Issa crib and I was like noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Lawrence had 48pts 14reb 12ast on the first episode so far but his team is only up by 2. He almost closed the deal. He gets his mail and I’m yelling at my TV "Okay bounce my nigga. Get outta there. Avoid the convo. Avoid the memory lane talk. No closure talk. ABORT!!! ABORT!!!!” No he pulls the I got more things move and he goes into uncharted waters. I’m worried. I’m sweating. The G.O.A.T is in bad territory right now. He had her against the ropes and he let her off the hook.
Then I heard the O.G God voice he said “Benny you think I sent my only begotten son to that apartment for toiletries? Fear not and watch this my child.”
Lawrence goes to the door and he’s about to leave and then we see his inner savagery come out and he kisses Issa faster than a Floyd Mayweather Jr jab and gives Issa the quickie of her life and leaves without a drop of conversation!!! LAWRENCE IS PICKING UP WHERE HE LEFT OFF ON HIS MVP SEASON AND HITS GAME WINNING DAGGER TO BEGIN SEASON TWO!!! THERE IS NOTHING MY G.O.A.T CANNOT DO!!!!!! HALLELUJAH BITCHES!!!!! 50PTS!!!!! THE KING WAS ALL UP IN THERE LIKE...
The ol confusion tactic. Give her some unexpected bomb dick. No longer than 2 minutes. Remind her that none of these niggas is the G.O.A.T and remind her that she fucked up and you leave to get ready for jury duty and go back to the titties! Lawrence is dangling hope in front of Issa and then pulling it away like
I’m a little worried though. Two game winners in a row? When something is this good there’s always a huge loss around the corner. I’m worried about King Lawrence but until that Loss comes CRACK OPEN THAT CARLO ROSSI!!!! LAWRENCE BACK IN THIS HOE!!!!! PLAY THE THEME SONG AT UNGODLY VOLUMES AND DANCE WITH YOUR TASHAS MY FELLOW MEMBERS!!!!!! LOOK AT THE BEST BUY SHIRT IN THE RAFTERS LIKE STING!!!! LOOK AT IT!!! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!!!