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I had a nightmare last night that I lived in a world without black women. The world was boring as fuck like Jennifer Lawrence films. None of my favorite activities were the same. Tacos tasted like struggle. Music had no meaning. The entire universe was sauceless. Common sense vanished. The world was basically like that episode of The Rugrats when they thought the sky was falling. I basically lost everything. I made a list of everything I lost due to the black women leaving my life.
I don’t have anyone to push me to be better even when they know I suck at something. You ever see the strength of a black woman cheer on a black man hooping and she knows deep in her soul that nigga can’t hoop for shit? You know how much strength that takes? Black women have the strength of Thanos with all the Infinity Stones to be able to cheer on a man thats 2 for 16 for all 3 games on the court that day. She know that nigga suck but a outsider could never tell. You ever see a black woman support her struggle rapper boyfriend? THAT’S STRENGTH!!! She know that nigga not making it but she there front row in a crowd of 15 people. Every show she’s there. Black women are the greatest cheerleaders ever. My momma showed me this my whole life. Loud as fuck cheering me on in everything and did not give a fuck how anybody felt. Every black woman in my life pushed me to be better more than anyone else in my life.
Optimism is the black woman’s most underrated trait. They go through a lot and they still believe everything will be fine and then proceed to show all of us. A black woman optimism is like steroids for a black man faith. You ever doubt yourself or have a awful day and experienced a black woman optimism powers in form of her thighs being your pillows and her fingers massaging your big ass head? As men we don't deserve it but yet the black woman is so merciful and optimistic.
Baked Macaroni became a myth. A folklore. A fable like Wheezing Ed from Hey Arnold. You think I’d trust any other race with something as sacred and sanctified as baked macaroni? NOT ON MY WATCH! Never. Give me death before I eat any baked macaroni not made with a black woman’s love, soul, mastery, and perfectly moisturized and cocoa butter flavored elbows.
I lost my waviness. You think I’m the black version of Fabio because I want to be? Nigga no. Black women are the reason for my wave. You think I’m wavy for sport? Nigga no. I’m wavy to catch a black queen and that’s it. Otherwise it’s just a waste of my time. You really think I give a fuck about clothes and shoes? I’d wear the same shit everyday like Doug Funnie if Black women will allow me to and I’d still get cheeks outta the process. Everything a man does is to impress the black woman. You see all these rappers rapping about "I don't care about or love these hoes" but yet these niggas pay $8589.00 for a shirt that makes them look like matador in 1766 just to get women attention. You think these niggas buy designer clothes, jewelry, and foreign cars because they like the shit? Nope. It's to attract black women. If every black woman decided to give pussy only to niggas that dressed like Steve Urkel you'd see a lot of iced out pocket protectors on your favorite rappers.
A black woman’s love is the most pure and upfront. Cant lose it. The reason why a girl liking you is a big deal is because they know that they’re one step from loving our dumbass and their love is so powerful, meaningful, and it’s only meant for real men. That’s why relationships that don’t work out for women takes so much out of them mentally and physically. A black woman’s love is more internal than ours so if it's wasted it's takes a huge toll on them. A man afraid of a black woman’s love can’t be a man. A man isn’t truly man until he accepts a black woman’s love. Until that moment comes that man will remain careless, lost, and foolish. A black woman’s love is not hard to define. It’s simply genuine. You really feel it when she's in your arms. You feel like her and her love belongs there and you're so grateful.
I’ve lost entertainment in watching every other woman try to ride a black woman's wave. Damn near every style on the planet a black woman is responsible for. Those other bitches try it but they not yall. Never will be. It’s like comparing a Chrysler 300 to a Maybach. Toodle-loo hoes. Farewell. Not in this lifetime.
Who’s skin care and natural hair products am I gonna use without permission and blame it on a random family member or friend? The best part about being in a relationship with a black woman is that I know my hair is about to smell like tropical fruit bubblelicious and my skin bout to glow and be smoother than the Neo soul era in the 90’s. A black woman skin won’t fold and is immortal. A black woman skin is Vibranium. A black woman hair has the strength of Ultra Instinct Goku and Jiren combined and is worth more than Alicia number in “The Wood.” Which is why Bonnets need to be celebrated as much as possible. Bonnets are portals to everlasting life. You wonder why some black women won't face time you while they're wearing a bonnet? It's not because they're embarrassed. It because they don't fuck with you yet and you don't deserve and we have not been initiated to the process of the mystical slay. My doo rag is not at full strength without a black woman's bonnet. We need the bonnet more than they need the doo rag. The bonnet is the BLECK PENTHA. The skin and hair products just the icing on the cake. It’s no coincidence that if you lose a black woman your skin starts to breakout and starts to showout like a spoiled child not getting what they want inside a store. These other women aging like romaine lettuce.
Parties will never be the same. You ever see a black woman dance? You ever experience a black woman rap Moneybagg Yo lyrics to you? You ever see the way a black woman look at you after she had 5-6 drinks? She bout to fuck the life outta you like her student loan debt will be cleared if she puts you to sleep. Strip clubs would be absolutely atrocious without black women. Uno wouldn't even be fun no more. Who's gonna give me a fire wall dance while I'm eating rotel? WHO? Dancing should be banned in a world without black women. Even black women who can't dance look like boxes full of Strawberry Shortcakes and Ice Cream Sandwiches on a snow day.
A black woman voice is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard regardless how it’s expressed to me. She could be laughing and it sounds beautiful. She could be cussing me out and it sounds like Minnie Ripperton, Billie Holiday, and Jesus combined. I can’t live without hearing a black woman speak. I don’t care if it’s intelligent or ignorant I wanna hear it. It’s glorious.
If I have a baby in this nightmare my baby probably gone be ugly. A black woman was the only hope I had for Benny The Sequel or Nami 2 Hottie to be cute. I just freestyled that name for my imaginary daughter and it was dope.
I won’t ever get shit done. Black women get everything done and get it done right. If I need my phone cut back on because I didn’t pay my bill because I’m irresponsible, a black woman will have my phone cut back on in under 20 minutes with the next 2 months of service free. I’d have a whole staff of black women if I could because I know I’d have the most profitable business and shit will get accomplished. Men are useless. A black woman would actually have to TRY to be lazy. Seeing a lazy black woman is like seeing a poor white person. How is it possible? You had a 400 year head start.
Black Women are responsible for every being on this Earth. No matter what race you are. You came from a black woman. I could go deeper into that but I’d be typing forever and sounding like I wear a dashiki. The black woman is the center of every religion. Just go to Egypt and see for yourself. You’ll see a black woman on a cross. Not a white man. The black woman is the most intelligent being on this planet. Scientifically proven. We can’t defeat racism or white supremacy without them. They can hold life and life can’t grow without them. The Black woman is God and I’m not saying that shit cause it sounds powerful. I’m saying it because it’s true. I get my salvation from black women. A world without black women means life has no meaning.
Black Women Over Breathing.