What's words today? I'm bout to eat these grits and you bout to read these 7 mistakes to make with your shorty.
FIGURING OUT HER MOOD
Nigga you don’t know whats wrong. Even if she tells you whats wrong that still don’t mean shit because she don’t even know what’s wrong with herself. When she upset and you didn’t make her upset (yet) the best option you have is to just go cuddle with her and get her some food. Show her love and DON’T SAY SHIT because the moment you say anything you will be the new reason she’s upset and before you know it there’s a avalanche happening and she’s bringing up old shit you did and shit you never knew you did. She is not a puzzle my nigga and even if she was a puzzle you too dumb to figure her out. You just gotta show her love and take her mind off what she’s dealing with for a moment. As a man you are her escape. Once she’s calm she’ll vent to you about it. You gotta do what Mia Wallace said in “Pulp Fiction” you gotta be able sit through uncomfortable silence. Women don’t wanna be fixed. They wanna be loved. Trying to examine her feelings and why she upset don’t do shit but make you her new target to cuss out. Just shut the fuck up, tie your doo rag, and be her teddy bear.
When a shorty ask you what you want to do you better have a precise and helpful answer bruh. If you say some shit like “Whatever you want to do” you no longer look like a snack to her you look like more of a pussy. Only her homies reply to her with “Whatever you wanna do.” As her man or the man she’s interested in there’s nothing cute about you having no direction. Women hate making decisions. It don’t matter if the decisions are easy or hard they hate making them mothafuckas. Some will never admit that shit but it’s real. Even if she does know what she wants to do she will not tell you. She wants you to decide. If you ask a woman out on a date you better have the time and place already locked and loaded in your mind before you even ask. Your manhood depends on that shit. They look at it like this, If you can’t decide on some simple shit like this then how can they depend on you when it comes to some serious shit? You're the navigator. Don't be neutral.
NOT HAVING PRESENCE
A woman intuition is like a nigga hooping in Timberlands. Strong as fuck. You have to have a presence. Your woman has to feel that shit even when you’re not around. Whether it’s your scent or your voice. She has to feel it. When your presence is strong she can go anywhere in the world and almost everything she sees will remind her of you. Even the way you text shorty plays a part in your presence. If your name pop up on her phone and she don’t feel anything in her body in a good way then that means your presence isn’t strong enough. Doing what you say you will do plays a huge role in your overall presence because shorty knows you bout it. It’s more than just fucking her good and buying her shit. A insecure nigga can do that. You have to have the swag that changes the atmosphere when you walk into the room. She’ll feel that. Don’t just be a musty and crusty nigga that just exists in her world.
THINKING SHE YOURS
Everything is a game to me. When shit go left I always say “That’s the game.” If you think your woman yours that’s when you get comfortable. It’s just a race and you just the nigga in the lead and your job is to stay in the lead. THAT’S IT. There are men chasing your position EVERYDAY my pal. It’s like Mario Kart. Niggas are in her DM’s throwing turtle shells at your position. They wanna be in the lead. It’s a marathon. Don’t start off fast and then start wheezing in the back like Hov taught us. Women are never ours. That’s like saying the universe is yours. So if a another man pulled a robbery and took my shorty from me on some Vegeta took Bulma from Yamcha shit I accept it. It’s the game and she was never mine to begin with. I take it like a playa.
BEING A SMART ASS BOY
Yes women want a intellectual nigga but deep down nothing annoys them more than a intellectual nigga. You have to know when to use logic and intellect around women. You gotta know when to be Urkel. First, never use that shit when they’re asking for advice. The key is to only use logic when it comes to questions like “Why is this flooding” or “Why don’t I have enough space on my computer” shit like that. They not trying to here logic in a disagreement or in everyday conversation. Have your intellect and emotion work in harmony and shorty will love you.
LEAVE THE ARGUMENT
When a argument between you and a woman is popping off you only have 2 GOOD options and that’s cuss her ass out back or shut the fuck up and take it. Those options are good because just your presence in that uncomfortable moment at least shows you care. The 2 things you DON’T do is try to calm her down. Trying to calm a woman down during a argument is like playing a game of twister in a mine field. You don’t calm her down. You CAN'T calm her down. A woman emotions are like nature. Nature is beautiful as fuck but can kill you with no remorse if you don't know what to do in it. You let her get it off her chest. Trying to calm her down makes it seem like you think she doesn’t have a reason to be upset. Even if she doesn’t have a reason that don’t matter my nigga. The objective is to keep her from killing your dumb ass. The WORSE thing you could do is this…..
“You tripping. I’m a leave so you can chill and I’ll come back and we can talk like adults.”
Plot twist. You’ve been replaced nigga. There is no coming back. When you leave you lose her trust. How you handle things with a woman they will assume that’s how you handle things in the world outside of them. So if you can’t take a argument with her then she will think you a bitch nigga and can’t handle no real issues in the real world. The only time you leave is if physical violence is happening or it’s on the verge of happening. If you stay for the argument then that shows you are there for her right, wrong, or indifferent and she will trust you because of that.
NOT SEDUCING YOUR SHORTY
You never wanna stop seducing your shorty. You have to always make her feel that sexual attraction. Once seduction stops then that’s when routine comes into the picture. Routine in a relationship is a nightmare. It’s the beginning of the end. I’ll give you an example of what I mean by seduction.
I was at a shorty crib I was fucking with years ago and she didn’t feel like being intimate. She didn’t tell me that directly but I could tell I wasn’t getting no cheeks that day because I knew her well enough just off her energy and body language. You know how it is. Sometimes women just not into it on some days. So I’m chilling in her living room while she in the kitchen and I grabbed her from behind and told her and I quote
“I’m a fuck the shit outta you then buy you something to eat.”
She giggled and said “I can’t with you.” Once you hear “I can’t with you” that means she CAN and WILL with you. Issa wrap. What I said was simple as fuck and nothing special but it got the job done. I got the drawls and went and bought her a St.Paul. #BigKidStyle
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram
Check out the blog podcast "Polite Coolery" on iTunes and Soundcloud