THATS MY FUCKING KING!!!!!! Getting money, fucking bitches, & chilling with the homies. That’s what life really bout!! Let’s break these shorty’s down tho!!! Okay first chick titties were on Godiva dark chocolate levels. Some shit you’d see in a fancy ass brochure or something. The second chick from the gym titties reminded me of the first time I saw the Lion King. Fucking immaculate. Her ride game was on fresh new tires on the whip worthy. Did you peep how King Lawrence had the red wine for the first shorty and the whiskey for the second shorty? ONLY BIG BOY DRINKS FOR MY KING!!!! My nigga out here giving directions and coaching the strippers. Listening to his best friend vent about losing his wifey then taking bartenders home to have her throwing it back like she was taking shots on her shift.

The King got the clap. No worries here ladies and gents. Fuck it! It aint herpes so the King can still be out in these streets. Just look at it like a sprained ankle on a NBA player. You gone miss some games. You gone have to chill for a lil minute but then you gone be back to normal and at MVP level like LeBron James in no time.

Lawrence should’ve answered Issa’s question by saying “I’m living like Ric Flair” grabbed a slurpee walk towards the door to leave and turn around and whisper “Ric Flair” one last time and walk out the door.

I like Issa cause she has ambition. Once she figure out how to actually think ahead and plan shit out like an adult it’s over for niggas. She didn’t think this block party through. Especially in a state like Cali. I know that shit a headache. Ol girl was petty as fuck in that office. Shooting down dreams and shit.

Why Nathan ain’t give Issa a nickname yet? That’s best part about dating people. Inside jokes and nicknames.

Why Molly so petty? First off I thought that coat was a threw piece. Didn’t it get stepped on at Coachella? Second, damn you can’t be happy for you assistant family? Jesus.

Do you really wanna know how you know it’s real Nathan? Benny will tell you. If you annoy the fuck outta each other and there’s no other place you rather be than next to each other. That’s how you know it’s real.

People really are trash. Remember Bernie Mac speech on “Don’t Be A Menace?” Just replace black with “Humans.” I don’t give a fuck that it don’t make sense. That’s how I feel.

Lawrence calling women to tell them to get checked for the clap was true royalty of the highest order. Look at my honest and noble King. We don’t deserve to serve such nobility. Even had a heart of gold to check on a woman who he didn’t sleep with. What a mighty King we serve.

Can we hang the King’s Blue Couch in the rafters along with his Best Buy jersey? So many titties have played on that couch. It’s basically the Madison Square Garden of fucking. We gotta retire it. It’s only right. 

If Mr.Robinson says he has no dog then dammit Mr.Robinson has no dog. 

Damn feds did a sweep and they looking for Nathan? I would say THIS IS DELICIOUS but that big ass hood nigga he beat up is snitching? You supposed to ask for the one on one fade in neutral territory. Not report an assault to the feds. I’m disgusted right now.

Aye man if you niggas had no clue how to ask a woman out this Asian nigga with the Machine Gun Kelly man bun just showed you how. Molly know she liked that shit. I don’t know why she fronting like Skateboard P.

Aye that lil nigga Kelli fucking is a lucky ass nigga. I know Kelli got some fire. I just know it.

This the second Asian dude Issa tried to push Molly to date. Molly bout to be in the next Fast & Furious movie. I guess this also highlights the controversy of that shit Issa wrote in that book in real life.

When Issa calls Nathan her man in front of her friends that’s how it goes. That’s how it be happening. Then you come around her friends and they giggling at you and shit with the inside jokes about you. That’s how you know you in the game. They’ll hate you in 6 months to a year tho.

“Nigga you made the calls? Survival of the fittest!” Quote of the fucking season. From now on we calling Chad “Consigliere Chad” from now on. The right hand of the King. Dropping gems. These niggas need they own show!!!

Why is my life like Lawrence’s? Same age and everything! Fucking and working is all I do! Shorty’s just be using me and nobody want to “like me like me.”  It’s time for me to chill and focus.

“Bitch never made the bed. I ignored the signs that’s my fault.” Gem number 2 from Consigliere Chadwick.

Chad unbothered but bothered. My nigga hurt. It’s alright bruh. Follow the King’s lead and get some titties on your couch pronto. You got knocked out the playoffs. Start a new season.  Although Leah was all over the place so Consigliere Chad had to cut her loose I understand but it’s time to move on. How dare she not accept his apology though? 

It’s part of your story now so it doesn’t really matter is the realest hit I ever heard! GEM NUMBER 3! 3 GEMS IN 1 EPISODE!!! I wish I could not apply this to the women I smashed and wish I never met like Carl Thomas but I can’t. They’re apart of my story.

“She not a hoe, she did some hoe shit.” Perfect my Lord. Perfect.

I wish Issa brother was my best friend but we can’t be cause this nigga asked where the Henny fountain is. Real friends don’t drink Henny. We drink D’usse. I don’t want that nigga near me until give that shit up and drink Tequila. Big Boy Drinks only.

Tiffany has a lot of new friends. I don’t wanna call them fake but yeah Crazy crew is the lamest name since “Bow Wow.” You ever sit back and think “Damn this nigga name was Bow Wow his whole career and we didn’t help him.”  

The King brought the gift of Kush to a baby shower. TOO REAL!!!

I didn’t see one Burberry shirt in the baby shower. I’m APPALLED!!!!! Someone cue the Rolf staring out the window picture.

Tiffany energy photoshoot energy is unmatched. She so extra and I love that shit. Them pics were 1600 likes on instagram easy.

Nathan on the run like Tommy Bundy in “Belly” so that’s why he not picking up.  

Lawrence & Issa catching up at the baby shower was cool. Niggas grown and shit. It’s like we raised these niggas watching em for 3 seasons.

Issa really made this nigga Lawrence. Remember that line “I really made this bitch” on Noname’s new album “Room 25?” That applies to this show. Without Issa threatening to leave and then cheating on Lawrence, The King wouldn’t be the man he is today.

Molly watches Issa and Lawrence having a good time and she goes to speak to Dro and that was the most thirsty “I wanna have those feelings too” moment I’ve ever seen and I’m happy Dro reacted the way he did when she said hi to him because he broke the cycle. If they would’ve exchanged pleasantries that nigga would’ve been back in Molly bed that night. He dogged her and she left him alone. She should be thanking him. He did her a favor.

“You better midnight train these mothafuckas to the table.” I’m WEAK! That lady really called her shit “Backup cupcakes.” That was some shade right there. Kelli pissed. I don’t blame her. Baking hard as fuck.

Kelly gets sad & jealous about the baby shower which I understand and this conversation they’re having outside is an extension of what Tiffany and Issa talked about in the car outside that 7-11 on the last episode. Tiffany feels she has to be around women who relate to her being a mother and Issa, Molly, and Kelli can’t relate to the journey she’s about to go on. Do I think it’s silly that Tiffany is this way. Yes. They’re adults. But I understand why she feels the way she feels and did the things she did when planning her baby shower. I don’t understand how these 4 have succeeded in making a baby shower sad. Tiffany told the truth though.

Lord please grant me the blessing of having Candace sit on my face. Please. I’ll give up all the other vices I do if you just bless me this one time.

Molly texted Andrew but it felt like it was outta desperation. Like her back is against the wall.

Why Issa make Kelli voice sound like the Cookie Monster aka Ja Rule?

Dro having a baby with Candace & Molly is crushed! THIS IS DELICIOUS!!! You can literally feel her heart break. What a beautiful moment that was. Now maybe she can Glo up.

Nathan told on himself and he’s ghosting Issa? I don’t get that nigga. All you gotta do is just text that you busy. Making people chase you is some hoe shit. There’s no excuse for shit like that especially if you claim you really like somebody. He made her feel good about herself and her passions and just disappeared and don’t have respect for her to let her know what’s up. Nigga gotta grow up. It ain’t hard. We literally know nothing about this nigga. That whole situation is fucking weird. That nigga move like a nigga that’s about to steal all her furniture out of Issa apartment. This nigga real name probably not even his real name. This nigga homeless.


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