Fuck all these people.
THE TWEET STEALER
You know how pathetic you have to be to steal someone else tweet and pretend like it’s yours and pretend that your profound, intelligent, or funny in real life when in reality you have the personality of Mr.Feeny. You literally bout as funny as a pencil sharpener. If I catch any of my friends doing this shit I’ll pray to the good lord that you step in shit and we never speak to each other again.
THE “SHOCK VALUE” TWEETER
Damn you want a viral tweet that bad? You want attention that bad? Niggas just be saying shit to say shit. I guess these are trolls. Seen a lot of bitches doing shock value tweets during this R.Kelly shit and they’re still doing it. Tweeting all that dumb shit for 10 retweets and to get blocked. Shameful. Some of these niggas shock value tweets be so mid too. Tweeting Gunna is a better rapper than Kendrick Lamar is not shocking or creative. You’re lame and bored.
THE MONEY TWEETER
Their tweets all about how they bout bankrolls. Their tweets all about how they all bout the bag. The only bag they bout is a hefty bag cause your life is trash. These tweeting ass niggas living check to check. These niggas gotta beg for hours at their job like a 17 year old. If you don’t hit 35 hours per week they’re fucked. Only thing full time their life is fronting on social media acting like they bosses and entrepreneurs. They’re making part time wages cause they have no choice. Stop fronting like y’all got money and have it all together. Y’all got 5 straight income tax checks and ain’t did shit productive with none of them hoes. They net worth don’t even have 4 digits. How the fuck does it feel that with your total net worth you couldn’t buy a 1994 Chevy Cavalier? I’m not shitting on people who broke. I’m shitting on people who broke but flex on social media like they not and have the nerve to act like financial gurus and look down on people. Shut the fuck up and worry about stretching that 11.42 in your account until your next paycheck. You can’t even shop at Aldi’s without over drafting. Continue to live your lives through rappers and pretend you got it.
THE PUMP FAKING XXX TWEETER
Bitch you not nasty. Bitch you prude. I’m only attracted to women so I can only speak on women. These tweeters are 95% of horror movies of the last 20 years. Previews are fire but when you go see that shit it’s mid. Tweets be nasty but when it’s go time I fell asleep when she gave me top. The Fuck session bout as boring as a Will and Grace marathon. You on the timeline talking like this sex is gonna make me debate abandoning my hoes when in reality it will make me add more hoes to my cart and start up xvideos and finish the job myself since you couldn’t. All the pretending to be gay shit gotta stop too. It’s not a fad sis. Pussy really on the menu and when it’s time to eat you all of a sudden you got coochie allergies. Tragic.
THE ACTUAL XXX TWEETER
Aye nigga I check my timeline and a bitch throwing neck and gawking like Simply Raspberry Lemonade in a nigga dick and my momma seen that shit and she think I’m a creep. Fuck wrong with you horny horny niggas? I even have a limit my nigga. Damn. Yall post anything on this mothafucka. I seen a bitch eating a nigga ass on the timeline at 7:07am on a Tuesday. The fuck? Can I get some grits first? Chill out cuz.
THE “REMEMBER ME” TWEETER
Yall give these niggas a little attention and create fucking monsters. Niggas thought they were gonna make careers off viral tweets and they just can’t fucking stop reminding us of what they did. Example. The nigga who pretended to lick a girl booty cheek at spring break and she had a boyfriend and showed her in his DM’s. Nigga it’s Spring Break that shit supposed to happen. That nigga got praised for shit I do every weekend and I hate yall for that shit. Nigga put booking info in his bio and reminds us of that shit every chance he gets. How bout that growling nigga yall gassed up? I seen this weird nigga on a complex video talking bout he releasing a growl tape. A FUCKING GROWL TAPE! It warmed my heart that this growling nigga is from New York. I wouldn’t expect that weird thirsty nigga from anywhere else than the place that thinks yellow rice is normal for Chinese food.
THE “LEAVE ME ALONE” TWEETER
Nigga nobody put a gun to your head and make you log into twitter. Why the fuck are you announcing to us that you don’t wanna be bothered? Announce that shit to the person who bothering you. They do that shit for attention and for people to ask them what’s wrong. Act like a fucking adult.
THE “FAKE EXPOSURE” TWEETER
All somebody did was hop in your DM and tell you “Hi” or send you an emoji and you screenshot it and show the timeline like we give a fuck. The funny part is that the people they try to expose be single so it’s not a big deal. Also when they try to post it to the timeline they end up looking like the lame mothafucka and not the person they’re trying to expose and embarrass. Yall lucky anybody send y’all goofy asses anything at all cause yall life bout as exciting and fake as an American History documentary . A single person asking you out on a date in your DM is not worthy of showing the timeline. Only thing it does is show how thirsty for attention you are and how miserable your life must really be.
THE “I WISH” TWEETER
“I wish I was getting some face.” “I wish I was getting a booty rub.” “I wish I had a date.” “I wish I was cuddling.” My wish came true when I blocked all the people who tweet like this daily. I see why yall single. Who the fuck wanna be around you needy mothafuckas. Watch Bob Burgers, masturbate until you pass out like a normal mothafucka, and shut the fuck up. It’s not difficult. In reality they tweeting this subliminally to someone that either don’t want them anymore cause that person fucking somebody else or tweeting this to somebody who doesn’t want them at all and never have wanted them.
THE “I DON’T LISTEN OR WATCH POPULAR SHIT” TWEETER
Tired of you weirdos making it your mission to announce to twitter that you don’t listen to or watch popular things. Nobody gives a flying fuck. It doesn’t make you interesting. You’re not cool. You’re lame either way. Nobody is going “OH MY GOD YOU DON’T LISTEN TO FUTURE? LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK AND TELL US MORE!! YOU’RE SO FASCINATING!! You don’t listen to Beyonce? Great! That’s one less boring bitch I don’t have to hang with. You don’t watch Game Of Thrones? Amazing! How long have you been a living corpse with no imagination? You only listen to underground hip hop? Good for you pussy. Go listen to a 9th Wonder vinyl and get the fuck out my face.
THAT NIGGA DIDDY
Nigga you a billionaire. Stop saying we have the same 24 hours. Nigga no we don’t. I ate cream of wheat. Your chef cooked you a Shoney’s buffet. Cassie your ex. My ex edges are hanging on for dear life. We not the same. I’m sick of your shit.
THE “DISTRACTING” TWEETER
Look here you fake concerned piece of shit. I can tweet about titties and give a fuck about global warming at the same fucking time. The good lord blessed me with the ability to give a fuck about a plethora of things all at once. Yes I know the world fucked up but why in the fuck you worried about what the fuck everybody else paying attention to and not focused on the shit you claim you giving all your attention to and what you claim is important? Riddle me that bitch. You seem distracted by telling people that they’re distracted. Go mind your business dusty. Go save the world you Clark Kent face ass nigga.
THE “PICK ME” TWEETER
Look here love. Sucking my dick and cooking for me everyday is not gonna stop me from cheating on you. Stop trying to impress these niggas you fucking bird. I’m gonna cheat on you because you’re annoying and all you can cook is Alfredo. When did head become the bulletproof remedy for making a nigga stay? I’ve gotta creme de la creme neck from 8’s or better and still ghosted them and fucked a 6 immediately after. You walking around naked is nothing special. Can we shut the fuck up together in peace? That’s special. Buying niggas PS4’s and paying for haircuts and you still gone get left on read and a nigga still gone tell you “damn that’s crazy” when your life is in crisis. Niggas are pick me’s too but we do that shit by being sexually explicit for no reason. How does it feel to tweet about eating pussy everyday trying to impress a shorty and I fucked the same shorty just by tweeting about King Of The Hill?
THE “TWEET TO EXISTENCE” TWEETER
You’ve been tweeting you’re gonna work with J.Cole for 7 years now. Nigga I’m a need you to downgrade to working with that nigga Mike Mike next door to you cause that Cole feature not coming. It’s time to wake up nigga. I’m a need you to stop being delusional. These tweeters really believe they can just put it in the universe with no kind of work or talent. Fuck your dreams bruh. Every year it’s the same shit and there’s no progression.
That is all. Peace
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