I guess this a rant …..

Nigga it’s BEYCHELLA. It’s not Gagachella. No it’s not Arichella. It’s not even Coachella no more nigga it’s BEYCHELLA. All those other names don’t even sound wavy. Get the fuck outta here. How these weirdos gone bite The Queen’s wave? The audacity of these bitches on the internet. Nobody added they name to “Chella” before Beyonce. People are so corny for that shit. 

I tried to watch Coachella 2019. I turned that shit off and watched Beychella for 58687598th time instead.

You notice how every time a black woman shines this country tries to dim the light on that black woman as quick and as passive aggressive as possible? It’s so weak and desperate. Poor tings. Stop trying to fight against greatness. Take your participation trophies and get the fuck outta here. 

I don’t care if N’Sync came on stage. I don’t care if the cast of The Sandlot came on stage. The skies and heavens can open up on my live stream and Jesus Christ and Tupac Shakur could come on that stage this past weekend and it still wouldn’t be enough to compare to Beyonce’s Beychella performance. 

The one complaint and weak criticism I’ve seen about Beychella was “Beyonce didn’t have the crowd turnt in her performance.” Beychella was a religious experience. Nigga the crowd was in SHOCK in what they were witnessing. They had no idea what they were witnessing. They never seen a human do this. They are watching literal perfection.

My favorite album ever is The Chronic by Dr.Dre. I Remember where I was when I first heard that masterpiece. I remember the first time I ever saw The Godfather 1 & 2. I remember when David Freese hit the game winning home run in Game 6 to force a Game 7 victory in The World Series. When Lauryn Hill won Album Of The Year at The Grammy’s. When LeBron James led a 3-1 comeback on the greatest NBA team in history. These are moments. Beychella is a moment in HISTORY! Not just in Coachella History. Not just in pop culture history. It’s a moment in WORLD HISTORY. That performance was talked about a year after it happened. Not just a day. Not just a week. It was talked about for a whole year. THE PERFORMANCE HAS IT’S OWN WIKIPEDIA PAGE. IT’S THAT FUCKING HISTORIC! People have rewatched Beychella more times than “Friday.” It’s that fucking iconic. Something you’d tell your grandkids about. 

When Beyonce performed in the Super Bowl there was a debate that she is the greatest performer to ever do it. Beychella made her Super Bowl performance look like ashy elbows and a white office potluck. Beychella proved that no one is in her league. No one. Her stamina, Her energy, Her vocals, all in another league.

The Choreography. The wardrobe and costume design. The stage design. The songs and samples. The HBCU praise. The drumline. Watching Beychella was like I was watching a Star Wars and Avengers movie combined in IMAX. I was looking at my iMac stunned as fuck. I couldn’t move. I almost pissed on myself because I refused to leave my chair and go to the bathroom. You could feel the emotion, the dominance, the history, the unapologetic blackness, the visual art, the love. I don’t see how you could hate another black soul after witnessing Beychella. 

There is no such thing as competing with Beyonce. None. You’re either inspired or you shut the fuck up. That’s it. Those are the only 2 options available. Beyonce and compete doesn’t belong in the same sentence. Beyonce and comparison doesn’t belong own the same sentence. Stop trying to put Beyonce in the category of these mediocre white artists. Beat it with the jokes nigga. Take your mayonnaise rhetoric and go play on the freeway. I’m not tolerating the goof troop shit. 

One thing I’m not a fan of and I realize now that I’m older is that society loves to try and replace greatness as quickly as possible. I’m guilty of doing this myself in the past.

When Usher was the guy there was this obsession of finding someone to replace or dethrone him so the masses made Justin Timberlake that guy. Then it happened to Justin Timberlake when people made Bruno Mars that guy. More recently you seen this with Nicki Minaj. I don’t listen to Nicki’s music but I knew she was the number one female rapper. People wanted someone new. Cardi B has a smash hit and people quickly compared and raced to completely erase everything Nicki had accomplished. This was before all the corny shit and beef shit took place. It’s going to happen to Cardi in the future. Watch. It always happens. We love to erase history. We crown people as quickly as possible. One good album, one good year, and all of a sudden that person is King or Queen. We reward the moment more than we reward the consistency.

From now on I need 3-4 great projects before I even put you in “ALL TIME GREAT” conversation. The bar is so low for everyone male and female and it’s hilarious. They’re trying to erase history with Beyonce but the issue is that Beyonce has been consistently great for 20 years. So to have the internet try to compare anybody to her is insulting. The fact that Beychella was brought up and being compared to anything is proof that they’re trying to find anything they can to diminish that moment in history. White people in the media are salty that nothing will top that performance in festival history and there’s nothing they can do about it. It happened. Eat your nasty ass avocado toast and sit the fuck down.

Niggas will never top Beyonce and that’s okay. That’s nothing to be ashamed about. Just be thankful you’re alive the same time she is and aspire to be in 2nd place where you belong. You’ll be okay. Watch Homecoming and be grateful.


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