Here are some people who ruin fun.
I’m just here to help.
Okay shorty I get it. You’ll suck dick in meadows of flowers like a scene out of “Jason’s Lyric.”
I have fun with pick me’s by taking everything they say and put it into the form of Green Eggs & Ham.
“I’ll suck dick in a box. I’ll suck dick on a fox. I’ll suck dick anywhere on my man’s command Sam I am.”
Pick me’s aren’t fun because I like seeing women naked or half naked and pick me hoes be hating on that and trying to put a stop to it and I dunno …… fuck em that’s why.
I get it. You cook more than 1000 gourmet dishes anytime, anywhere. You’re completely covered up. I can’t see your titties. Good for you. I’m proud. Continue to be yourself. But all these things you brag about and put down other women who don’t do what you do shows me 2 things. One, you have no life of your own. Two, the bar is set incredibly low for your self worth because you go out your way to prove to strangers that your self worth is superior to other women who don’t give a fuck about you. Bragging about rewarding men’s toxic behavior with unlimited mouth and Alfredo plates is something you should keep to yourself. All that shows me is that you’re a gullible woman who I could take advantage of.
Bragging about your low body count is not going to cover up the fact that you’re an asshole. I’ll take the woman with 20 bodies who minds her fucking business over the pick me woman because she’s gonna be herself regardless of what I think. She’s gonna suck the melanin off my body and hold me accountable for my bullshit. That’s a Queen. You know what’s hilarious? The biggest Pick Me’s are in relationships or married. Go annoy your partners with your bullshit. You have the man or woman of your dreams. Why are you concerned with other women? Why are you bothered?
Men are dumber as Pick Me’s. These weirdos rely on shit men are supposed to be doing and think that shit bout to get them some pussy. Like a pick me nigga will say shit like “look at my bank account, my home, my car, my job, now women need to do humanity a favor and be on my dick.” Their philosophy is that men can only be with people they’re attracted to and women cannot be with people they’re attracted to. You got stability in your finances but you unstable in the head. Make it make sense weirdo. That’s actually worse. It’s easy to get out of financial woes. It’s hard trying to un-lame yourself when you been a goofy your whole life. These the pick me niggas who hate on niggas like me because my life is a fucking mess and I’m still fucking the woman they “tried” to date. Shit I dunno why women even fuck with me but they’re attracted to something and that’s just what it is. I’m just out here living. Who cares. If niggas just stopped being lame, stopped shaming women, mind their business, smoke some trees, and buss fits they’ll be okay.
BLACK MEN WHO HATE BLACK WOMEN AND BLACK WOMEN WHO HATE BLACK MEN
This shit corny as fuck. And everyday people be on this shit. It ruins all the fun. It’s sad. I love hanging out with cool human beings. I’m not in the business of categorizing people. If a black man did some foul shit to me I’m not blaming every black man. If a black woman did something negative to me that has nothing to do with any other black woman. If you start a sentence with “These niggas always” or “These bitches always” I swear I don’t want you around me. Let me make that clear right now. I don’t even joke around with this subject because it’s no laughing matter. I block all people who’s constantly trying to divide my people. I’m seeing people degrade each other like it’s the only option they have. Niggas used to at least be covert with the slander. Now people just don’t give a fuck. I seen people use Nipsey’s death to slander black men and black women. No other race does this bullshit. Just when I think there is no way to slander black men or women people find a way to make me look stupid as fuck. Amazing. When a black woman does something incredible a black man comes outta nowhere to discredit her. When a black man does something cool a black woman will come outta nowhere to put him down. I see more men on this bullshit but either way it go It’s disheartening and the opposite of fun.
CRITIC ASS NIGGAS
One of the things that I didn’t like about myself was that I was always a critic. If I’m being a critic on my blog then that’s okay because it’s my space but when I hop into shit that has nothing to do with me to act like a critic then of course I look and feel like a dickhead. Overly critical people suck the fun out of everything. They have the inability to not let people like what they like. For example literally every rapper male or female that social media has said is the hottest rapper the past 2 years I have not been impressed with nor have I bought into the hype. I could list the reasons why day in and day out but why? I don’t want to stop anybody from listening to what they want. I can feel critic ass niggas blood boil when everybody likes a certain artist, trend, show, etc. Like why are people so pressed? Critics are just snobby hoes with terrible skin cause all they do is criticize. Just let shit be, enjoy what you like and your skin will glow.
ULTRA COMPETITIVE NIGGAS
The person that turns everything into a competition. Everything. These were the assholes who would brag about how many shots they took when we were in college and keep tabs on how much you were drinking. I took 5 shots because I don’t wanna miss this “You up” text when I get back to my apartment. You took 18 shots and almost shitted on yourself at the party. Good for you. You win. These niggas think they’re good at EVERYTHING too and are average at best. What’s even more annoying about the ultra competitive type is that if they know they can’t do something they will always try to volunteer your craft or talent to be apart of some competitive bullshit. I remember when I used to rap and niggas would volunteer me to battle other niggas. Niggas would be arguing in the barbershop then it was always “My young nigga from The U would smash all you niggas” next thing I know I got 7 missed calls from niggas talking bout “Come battle. They talking shit.” No nigga YOU talking shit. How the fuck did a Kobe vs LeBron argument end here with me rapping? Y’all supposed to be on the basketball court playing 1 on 1 because both of y’all told each other “You can’t hoop in real life though.” Ultra competitive people have serious ego and insecurity issues. The worst might be the secret competitive people. They competing with you on the low and you have no idea because you don’t give a fuck. Competitive niggas don’t get any money they just get imaginary W’s on the imaginary scoreboard in their heads and you slowly see their competitive nature turn into sad delusion.
Everything is the end of the world for these people. I try to help as much as I can but I’ll give you two times to suck the life out of the fun before you start seeing me have fun without you. Nothing will make a person angrier than a person who’s mood just switches from cool to just ultra sad out of nowhere. Especially without a valid reason. If I’m your friend I will do as much as I can to help you get out your funk but if you still on some Weeknd album bullshit I’m going to go do drugs without you. Go get some professional help to at least see if it’s depression. Some niggas don’t even be depressed they just sad that they’re not getting their way in life. Nigga that ain’t nobody fault but yours. Keep the sad ass tweets, captions and statuses to yourself or a therapist. They never understand that they’re draining every space they occupy. Usually sad niggas are constantly comparing themselves to others. They’d never admit it but it’s the truth.
You ever see the nigga that jumps straight to violence? They claim they’ll slap every nigga in the party. They’ll air this bitch out. They think people staring at them. Nigga you don’t see the beautiful titties behind you? That’s what people staring at. Not you. Ain’t nobody thinking about you dawg. People out enjoying life and these people act like someone pissed in their cinnamon toast crunch. Mad niggas hate themselves and refuse to confront that fact. Attack your demons angry niggas and bitches. It’s more fun on the happy side. I’ll be waiting for you over here. Don’t hold grudges. Hold booties.
Awful human beings. If they’re not talked about or what they do is not in the forefront of something these niggas will complain and kill the fun immediately. They have the inability to be happy for anyone or anything that did not involve them. They make everything about themselves. They love attention and crave it more than a bum ass nigga craves his baby momma car from the hours of 8am to 4pm. My advice to them is actually create something that helps people and not just yourself and you’ll see the world differently. Nobody owe you anything even if they told you they owe you. Also nobody got you like you got you. So if support not there you should know that you’re gonna be alright because you’re secure and you believe in yourself. Just shut the fuck up and figure it out.
You ever notice how you can tell these people JUST learned some shit and they look down on people as soon as they learned it? Literally just learned some shit 24 hours ago and all of sudden they’re Marcus fucking Garvey. These are the most disrespectful people. I knew the streets were done when niggas started hating on plates. I don’t give a fuck what anybody eat. You wanna eat ribs and chicken by all means go crazy. Niggas not eating tree bark and niggas upset about it. They judge what people eat but the people they judging are healthier than they are. Make it make sense shabazz. Just cause you don’t eat pork doesn’t make you healthy. The other meat just as bad too. All the stuff you think is vegan in these stores processed as fuck. That blunt you smoking everyday worse. The alcohol you drinking fucking you up too. If you’re not eating like Dr.Sebi then shut the fuck up with your judgement. If people celebrate holiday’s that’s their thing. It has nothing to do with me. Holiday’s are escapism. Everything we do is escapism. Music, writing, documentaries. Everything. So if you’re gonna be bothered with people celebrating holiday’s then be mad at those things too. I don’t celebrate holiday’s either but I shut the fuck up about it. People beliefs are their journey not mine. As long as you’re not harming people then you good with me. Walk your path. Everything isn’t a conspiracy. Actually think about people besides yourself and your obsession with believing you’re right. You reach more people through action. Not preaching on social media. Go actually help the community you sit in the house and tweet about all the time.
WHERE THE HOES ASS NIGGAS
I have this philosophy that if you hear “Where the hoes” before you leave the house the day or night will be ruined. Saying “Where the hoes” is like saying Candyman 5 times in the mirror. You know the day or night is fucked. The fun is over before it began. It’s like a curse has been placed on you. It’s “bad bitch repellant.” People who say “Where the hoes” are creeps to me. Extremely horny individuals. These are “Without me” niggas and bitches. You know you tell em you bout to get in the shower and before they respond you say in your head “Don’t say it Don’t say it Don’t say it” and they reply “Without me haha.” Every time I see people say “Where the hoes” I feel they’re one step closer to their goal of being a sexual offender. They say “sheesh” a lot too. Thank the lord I’m a real nigga that never put sugar on my spaghetti and never said sheesh in real life or on the internet. If I ever say “sheesh” I will take 12 showers to remove the lame off me. Niggas who say “sheesh” dress like R.Kelly. Niggas who say “Where The Hoes” DM the hoes they found and tell em they saw em but wasn’t sure it was them. Nigga quit lying you enlarge they’re avi 4 times a week you probably know his or her blood type. You know damn well it was them. You found the hoes and didn’t do shit. Sad. Just stop saying “Where the hoes” so people can respect your presence.
Follow us on twitter and instagram
Listen to the blog podcast Polite Coolery.