Some shit count and some shit don’t.

Here’s a list of shit that DON’T count.

Nah forreal this shit don’t count.

Texts or conversation when I’m drunk do not fucking count. You niggas gotta come back to me for editing purposes when I’m sober so I can tell you what’s real and what isn’t. I be wildin when I’m drunk and saying off the wall shit. That myth about the real come out when you drunk is bullshit. I think fighting 17 people at once is a good idea when I’m drunk so what does that tell you? No one can be trusted when they’re drunk. 

Body Counts really begin once you start paying bills or when a big head child that looks like you has been brought into this world. If I dicked you down before I knew what Ameren was then it doesn’t count. It was a flag on the play and the play did not count. I’m old as fuck and there’s been instances where certain women would tell people we’ve fucked and frame it in the context that it happened recently. We fucked when Ja Rule was singing Cookie Monster ballads and selling millions of records we did not fuck when Ja Rule left humans deserted on an island with lettuce sandwiches at a fake music festival. You get no points for fucking with me when I was 15 years old. Once you start getting tax returns and realizing Seinfeld was funny the whole time that’s when your body count begins. Anything before doesn’t count and you were just sampling like Costco. 

If there are no stains on my fit and I wore it on a night where I seen no bad bitches and I took no fire pics that were posted to any social media then that fit does not count and it will make a reappearance on my very next outing. I’m running that fit back like a classic DJ Drama Gangsta Grillz mixtape. That fit is coming back like an ex sending a “I was just checking on you” text. My fits are too fucking renowned, illustrious, and esteemed to be put back in the closet after attending a kickback or event that only 23 people attended. Nah bitch we gone do this shit until we get this shit right like a Joe Jackson Jackson 5 rehearsal. If it was posted on Facebook then I don’t give a fuck cause nobody important seeing that shit anyway except some lame ass weirdo from your high school that post NBA Youngboy memes. There’s no one of any significance or value on Facebook. When you got the sauce you don’t throw it away. You put it in the fridge put it back on the stove next time and serve it again. The fuck you thought. 

Old fights don’t count. Nigga we fought in the second grade. You beat me up when I was still watching Gullah Gullah Island nigga that shit don’t count. Nigga I wasn’t even picking out my own fits when we fought. Now if you won a fight as adults I’ll give you yo props and keep it moving but middle school fights and even high school fights nah nigga I ain’t jacking that. We grown now. How the fuck you gone brag about beating my ass when my momma was still asking me if I had McDonalds money? You gets no stripes for that. Actually you get no stripes for fighting in general cause fighting is lame as fuck but it’s even worse when you reminiscing on fights from your childhood. Speaking on reminiscing… 

Aye your school athletic career don’t count my nigga. I don’t care about your high school highlight tape of your glory days. I came here to just hoop or play whatever sport we playing to exercise my nigga and despite lying to yourself you are here to do the same my pal. I don’t care about your injuries that prevented you from the league or your bad grades or your coaches who didn’t like you and hated on you. That ain’t got shit to do with me. If you didn’t make it to the pros or play a significant role in the NCAA then it didn’t count my pal. You wasted your time. Don’t feel bad we’ve all wasted our time on something. You just haven’t accepted that reality yet. 

Anything Diddy says does not count. That nigga weird. 

The people who tell you how to do shit they haven’t done do not count. How you gone tell someone how to run their shit when you never built shit or had shit to run? I can’t tell someone how to make 10 million if I say anything I would be guessing and my word wouldn’t mean much cause I don’t have 10 million dollars at the moment. Shut the fuck up and let people learn and get you something to fuck up and learn in the process.

Movie trilogies don’t count. Godfather 3? Never happened. Ninja Turtles 3? What’s that? Back To The Future 3? Mighty Ducks 3. Excuse me? Problem Child 3. The list goes on. Fuck trilogies. 

Your followers don’t count. How you got 5000 followers and you can’t at least jugg 1500 a month out of em? How the fuck your numbers low on everything? I’ll tell you how. It’s because followers don’t count. All those likes don’t count. All those retweets and shares don’t count. You interact with people who don’t give a fuck about what you’re doing and you’re not connecting with anyone. All that I wanna look cool by not saying much and not connecting with people cause they’re not popular goofy shit is lame. Only people with confidence problems be on shit like that. The only thing that counts in this instance is results. You either getting results or you not and if you not it’s always your fault. Nobody else’s. All that complaining not gone work. All that venting not gone work. Nobody gives a fuck. Either get better or get lost. Anything outside of results is imaginary. 

Mistakes in your past don’t count. Your past only purpose is showing your gauge of improvement. Did you learn from it or did you run from it? The past is just a reference on how far you come. If you continue to focus on your mistakes in the past then how can you finish your story? Are you going to keep re-reading the same chapter or are you going to move ahead and see what’s next? Are you scared to see what’s next and that’s why you’re stuck on previous chapters that aren’t changing no matter how many times you re-read them? Reflection is not a bad thing but when reflection turns into dwelling that’s when you lose out on becoming the best version of “You.” Mistakes were made but those mistakes don’t define who you are today. You’re thinking different. You’re moving different. Mistakes only count if you didn’t learn or grow from them. 


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