I was in Chicago a couple of days ago supporting my family Nico and seeing off another member of that family DJ HoodBunnny. I came last minute and I’m glad that I made the decision to come.
They had sets at a party that celebrated Black and P.O.C gay creatives. I never been to an event like that so it was my first experience and nigga I had fun. Time of my fucking life. Gay people give the best compliments, they give a fuck about details. I was glad they allowed me and my family into their space and let us jam with them.
So I’m in this party jumping around this mothafucka. HoodBunnny got this party on 5000 and I literally stopped moving, watched him for a minute, and then looked around the party and just saw everybody in awe of his set. I’m hearing people ask for his instagram and twitter name. I’m seeing people just dancing nonstop to everything he dropped. I just thought to myself at that moment ……
“It’s his turn.”
I’m not a big guy on receiving spotlight. Actually this weekend I’m receiving an award at a banquet for my blog and podcast work and I’ve told nobody but Moe cause I don’t like attention like that. I don’t even want to go. I don’t care for shit like that. When it’s your turn, the spotlight is on you. Whether that spotlight is from a crowd, an opportunity, a singular person, wherever, the spotlight is on you when it’s your turn.
I’m just thinking bout this shit riding from Chicago in and out of consciousness. It’s Me, Moe, and Cue’s turn. I always wondered what all the shit meant for what I’ve built the past 2 years. It was like I was chosen for this creative empire shit I’m doing. I never sat down and pursued it. Everything appeared in front of me and it piqued my interest because I wondered why I was being negative about it so I thought if I reacted positively I’d get a clear answer. I rejected it before I accepted it.
I started thinking about the shit I actually did pursue and failed at and it hit me. It wasn’t my turn that’s why.
Sometimes it don’t be your turn. It’s that simple. It don’t matter how talented you are or how hard you work. It just ain’t your turn. Not saying it won’t ever be but for the time being it ain’t your turn. The funny thing is that 90% of people all do the same shit when they don’t realize it ain’t they turn. They force it. They try to make it their turn. They try to fit the square into the circle and when it’s not going their way they jam the square into it and break the entire platform they’re trying to put it into. When it ain’t your turn and you try to force it? Bad shit happens. When you strike out you take off your helmet, put the bat down, walk back to the dugout and wait for your next at bat. People stay in the batter box after striking out and hold up the game and that never works out. You’d get ejected from the game. When you hold up the game you’re only hurting yourself by preventing your growth. I don’t force anything. I don’t want anything that’s not mine and I don’t want someone who don’t want me.
It’s a lot of people jealous of other people because it’s not their turn. I never understood jealousy. I understand it from the standpoint of it’s a common emotion in every human. Like I’m jealous of people with older siblings. But that doesn’t harm anyone. I don’t understand people jealous of someone who has more money than them or jealous of someone else’s relationships and friendships. How are you jealous of somebody business because it’s flourishing more than yours? Mind your own, work on yours and wait your turn. That’s it. What’s crazy is that some people have already had their turn.
Some people already had their turn and for whatever reason it didn’t work out or they fucked it up. A lot of people in our society are backwards compatible by nature so when they fuck up their turn or their turn didn’t work out they go backwards and try to force their turn to work in their favor but here’s the punchline to the joke. When they try to force their opportunity they turn their backs to multiple opportunities that fit them better than the missed opportunity they’re trying to force. They’re stuck on what they’ve missed or previously had. They’re stuck on what they fucked up and squandered. They fail to realize that that their turn didn’t work out for a reason. Something greater for them is waiting but their back is turned to it because they’re looking at their past. This happened to me. Making music wasn’t it. Blogging was. When I finally let go something better came into my life. When I stopped worrying about my past relationships the woman of my dreams appeared. It’s just how it go.
You gotta ask yourself this. And keep it 100. If the universe showed you the real reason why you’re here and showed you the life that’s your destiny, would you give up the life you worked so hard to bring to fruition? Would you give up everything you planned? It’s deep.
It comes down to this. People don’t wanna live. They wanna live as in “existing” but they don’t wanna “live live.” When I say “live live” I’m not talking bout live as in traveling the world, skydiving, or silly shit like that. I’m talking about living the life they’re meant to live. People are afraid to live because they’re not in control and the fact that their real purpose isn’t what they’ve planned crushes their ego. People waste time doing things they THINK is best for them. It’s already bad enough that majority of us are living our lives on somebody else’s terms but it adds insult to injury that we convince ourselves that the wrong path is the right one.
When it wasn’t my turn and I accepted that it wasn’t working. I chilled. That’s it. I chilled and most importantly I LISTENED. Not only to people but to the most high and my heart and now I’m in the best space I’ve been in ever in my life and I pray it gets better from here.
It ain’t your turn but something is coming.
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