Okay let’s talk about this long ass movie. Man this was longer than a white woman’s back. This shit was longer than a deadbeat daddy list of lies. This movie was longer than Saturday detention my nigga.
Anyway we’re back with the Losers and the Pennywise The clown for the second go round of murder and random creepy shit.
Mike is living in an attic like a serial killer dialing the rest of the losers to tell them that Pennywise is back and they need to keep their promise and come back and run the fade. Everyone has very successful careers except the black man. The black man is living in an attic like the fucking Hunchback Of Norte Dame while Eddie has an insurance company that shit a scam so you know he caked up, Bill is a successful writer, Beverly closet is the size of a one bedroom apartment in New York but her taste in men is still trash. Richie is a successful comedian. Ben creating outlet malls. Stanley doing puzzles. I don’t know what the fuck Stanley does but if he has time to do puzzles in Mister Rodgers sweaters then you know that guy got money. Who the fuck does jigsaw puzzles?
So immediately the movie gets everyone back to Derry quick as fuck. That’s the quickest shit about this movie. There was little to no pushback of getting every back to Derry. Except Stanley this mothafucka said fuck all of you I’ve lived a full life to the point I do puzzles in my spare time. I ain’t fucking with no clown. I’ll see you assholes in hell.
Everyone does great acting wise. Bill Hader I thought had the best performance out of the Losers. His story seemed the most interesting. Everyone else’s lives was pretty meh. Bill Hader was hilarious as Richie and clearly has proven himself as one of the top actors in Hollywood. He will win an Oscar one day all he needs is the right script.
Back to the movie. The dinner scene at the restaurant was very good. You see the bond everyone still has despite not seeing each other for 2 decades. Enjoyed that scene a bunch for sure. From that point though this is where the movie starts to drag on and off. Cause look at it like this. They have to come back to Derry. They have to collect items from their childhood to place in a pyramid shaped box to fight Pennywise and save the town. That’s it. So why is this film 3 hours long? Once everyone splits up to find their specific items the movie drags.
The other thing is that Chapter 2 isn’t scary or as scary as Chapter 1. Seeing a killer clown terrorize and kill children hits different because you’re putting yourself in the shoes of a child and imaging how terrifying that would be if you were in their shoes as a child. Seeing a clown terrorize adults doesn’t really do much. Mainly because they didn’t switch up Pennywise’s approach. I think if they had Pennywise just straight up kill more adults than kids in the movie it would be scarier. The shit you were afraid of as a kid you get over when you’re an adult. So seeing him use the same scare tactics on adults not hitting for real. Pennywise could’ve had the people he killed( kids, adults, teens) rise again and torture the adults. He had the one dead friend of the bully driving around in a fucking muscle car escorting the bully with the mullet on a murder spree. The bully coming back was pointless because they literally did nothing with him. He served no purpose.
I know the book is long as fuck and I’m not sure of what was in the book is in this movie but I think they should’ve left out the artifact hunt and focused on finding out what Pennywise is. Why does he come every 27 years? Why is he terrorizing this specific town?
The final fight I’m conflicted about because in the old mini series the end monster is terrible. In Chapter 2 the final monster is sort of the same but when they basically yell at him like a twitter bully and he gets smaller it felt really corny. So all you had to do is Joan on this clown and he couldn’t do shit? That shit was weird to me. Then Stanley writing a suicide note and the film using his death being the reason they came together and were able to fight Pennywise. First of all Stanley could’ve just stayed home and lived. Dude was being extra by killing himself and secondly that whole spin on his suicide was really cheesy. He bitched up and left his friends in limbo. End of story. Stanley is no martyr. He was a hoe.
In the end it’s the cast that make this film watchable. They all did such a great job. The IT films are heavily based on the characters so if the characters do a poor job this movie would’ve been a shit show. Instead it was average. Not bad. Not great. Just average.
3 outta 5 fruit snacks.
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