CREATING IN CHAOS

Weeks ago I attended a St.Louis award show for underground hip-hop called the “Slumfest awards.” I am a part of a hip-hop group called “TreeVilla” and we were nominated for 2 awards.  Album of the year and Best hip-hop group.

We won 1 out of 2. We won best hip-hop group. 

The moment I heard our group name called, it took every fiber in my being not to tell people to suck my dick. There’s a lot of bitch ass people I wanted to embarrass on the mic. Clearly the tequila was taking over my body like the symbiotic alien taking over Eddie Brock and turning him into Venom. 

I had to calm myself down and remind myself that I am trying to change and not be so confrontational. I have a problem with letting things slide. I usually check things at the moment they happen. Plus that would’ve been disrespectful to the platform and our group cause it minimalizes all the work we put in just to highlight niggas who could never walk in our shoes nor uphold the codes we live by.  

I made our speech and we immediately left the award show after the speech. 

Us leaving was in no means a disrespect to the Slumfest awards. I love the Slumfest family and Slumfest was the platform I had my first ever performance in my life. They assisted me in my start as a performing artist. I will forever be grateful to Slumfest. We just wanted to go be niggas and go get drunk, hear good music and dance with baddies. That mission was accomplished of course and for bonus points I smelled like Regina Hall’s thighs that night. You know they smell like cocoa and vanilla. I just won an award, I’m smelling godly, nigga I gotta go turn up. It’s mandatory. 

I mentioned in our speech how creating is a privilege and it's an honor. It’s our responsibility to create. I dont really give a fuck about awards but out of respect I came out to the awards show. All I thought about after I realized we just won best hip-hop group was that we created all that music in the midst of chaos. 

This country is  literally a cesspool. This shit has been run into hell. I was just talking to my homegirls a few weeks ago about how the last great year was 2018. Everything after that was the epitome of ass compared to that year. 2019 was half fire and half mid and of course 2020 life changed for everybody. 

During that time I became this tiktok face ass nigga and become an online personality that talked about anime. That’s how fucking bored I was. I met a lot of amazing people through tiktok so I dont regret it at all but theres days where I think about that shit and it’s cringe as fuck to me. 

Despite all that I believed that I didn't do any creative work that was meaningful to me. TreeVilla music was the first thing post pandemic that I felt alive and truly creatively free. We do what the fuck we want and we don’t abide by any rules. You just go make music. 

There’s so much terrible shit happening in the country and I would think about it all the time. I would help where I’m able and then I would not be inspired by anything. Not even my hobbies. Me and my brother Cue started working on music and I felt that I had something meaningful to do creatively. Once we called the group “TreeVilla” I knew I found something that I gave a fuck about. 

We released 8 projects from August 2024 to March 2026. 18 months. People would always ask why we release so much music in such a short time and the answer is that it’s fun. 

You shouldn’t need a reason to create everyday. We create everyday because we’re blessed to see the day. The fact that I don’t need motivation or inspiration to create is how I know it’s real. I just like going to the studio to create. I don’t do it for an escape from life. I do it because I’m alive. That’s all I need. 

This time we’re in now shows me that it's super pivotal to show your creativity. To try any and everything you’re good at and bad at. You can’t control the world but you can control the order of your life. 

To create in a world that's falling apart here are some tips that helped me. 

Routine. Routine. ROUTINE! Outside of work having a routine will heal the fuck out of you. The only wandering you need to do is in nature and even then that has to be scheduled. Sometimes it’s okay to just freestyle your day but doing that all the time will have you lost as fuck when you decide to look up and look around. You’ll start questioning yourself and being really hard on yourself on why you feel like you haven't done shit or feels like you are running in place. 

Find a community. Hang with a small community. I am the King of isolation. It doesn’t bother me cause I’m funny as fuck and I make myself laugh all day but nothing beats a small community to hang with. Whether it’s a book club, a bowling team, a gym buddy, shit I'd tell you to join a gang if you’re really desperate (please don't) but being alone with your thoughts ALL the time is not healthy. 

Chill the fuck out on consuming so much shit. People who do nothing but consume things 24/7 are not well. They’re usually obsessed with other people's business. Loser type shit. Create more than you consume. The reason why shit so chaotic is because you consume everything. Overloading your mind drives you more to being sociopathic than empathetic. I love manga and anime just as much as the next person but me just consuming it hours upon hours per day nonstop I had to chill out on. I don’t consume insane amounts and make time to always create something even if it’s not good. I just do it. 

In other words the world needs your creativity now more than ever. 

Stream my music group “TreeVilla” on all music streaming platforms.