JOY RIDE REVIEW

I know what you wannabe film school thespian ass dorks are about to say. “Well actually Joy Ride is technically a thriller” 

Oh my god go eat glass you prick. Joy Ride is a fucking horror movie. 

Do you see Michael Myers face? No. Do you see Rusty Nail’s face? No. 

Can Jason Vorhees rip a human jaw off? Yes. Can Rusty Nail rip a human jaw off? Yes. He did that shit 15 minutes into the movie. 

Was he trying to walk these white kids down and put them in a backwood? Yes. 

There’s a killer chasing after potential victims. I sounds like horror to me. 

It doesn’t get any better than the 2000’s. I know people talk about the 90’s a lot and the 90’s were great but 2000’s was on another level. I used to watch this movie on my PS2 as a kid. 

This was in the era Paul “My pockets aint empty cuz” Walker was like white Jesus. From 1999 to 2003 He had 

Varsity Blues

She’s All That 

The Skulls 

The Fast & The Furious 

Joy Ride 

2 Fast 2 Furious 

These are all hall of fame “BRO” movies. You gotta drink 12 mountain dews just to watch them. You gotta watch these in JNCO jeans. I might transform into Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit if I sit through a marathon of these movies. 

Aight so boom the plot is about 3 young adults going on a road trip across the country who plays a prank on a trucker over a CB radio. Jokes on them cause the trucker is a fucking psychopath and sounded like he doesn’t wear drawls when he wears jeans. The trucker then proceeds to chase them across the country with the full intention of murdering them with his semi truck. 

The worst thing you can do to a trucker is taunt him with imaginary pussy. They’re used to purchasing full blown prostitutes named Darla at rest stops. Dangling free pussy in front of them like banana pudding in front of BigXThePlug. He brought pink champagne to meet the lady and everything. He was trying to be a gentleman about it and got his heart broke by 2 assholes who listen to Fall Out Boy while they jerk off. 

I mean the trucker Rusty Nail asked them to apologize and this bart Simpson haircut mothafucka decided to double down on the disrespect after the just witnessed his victim with their jaw ripped off. They deserved everything they got in this movie. 

The voice of the villainous trucker kind of stole the show. He seemed like a very unstable man just off his voice alone. He sounded like a man that eats cigarettes. 

Rusty Nail also seems to have the same teleportation powers as Jason and Michael Myers because he would pop up everywhere the main characters went. He was on that ass. How the fuck is hiding that big ass truck? Shit is crazy. 

I’m mad they showed his face in the final act. I think it would’ve hit harder if we just see his silhouette and he didn’t speak at all in person but it didn’t ruin the movie though. 

Paul and Steve are brothers in this movie and their chemistry is really good in this movie. I really believed that they were both douchebags that think Nickelback is the cornerstone of rock music. 

You could argue that this is Paul Walker’s best performance in a film. I think the other movie that has a debate is “Running Scared.”

The pacing of the movie is kind of dumb. The middle of the movie the action gets stalled and the movie basically resets itself and then the chase picks back up. It was like me eating pizza and then somebody takes the pizza away from me mid bite. 

Outside of the pacing this movie did age well. It doesn’t seem super corny when I went back to watch it. Who would’ve thought a movie about the final stage of road rage would be this fucking timeless. 

Love, Benny