I'M NOT A NERD
I’m a man who has no problem with admitting when I was wrong. I won’t feel any way about it. I’ll just admit I was wrong and go about my business.
I believe that I was wrong for ever calling myself a “nerd.” Before you burn me at the stake, hear me out.
I grew up in what most black people would consider a normal black household. I was blessed to grow up with both my parents in the home, there was a lot of hip-hop and soul music, good ass cooking seasoned with love, big family gatherings with gambling. Arguments and fights would occur here and there but it was always love.
As a child I always navigated towards art. Drawing intrigued me. Music fascinated me. Cartoons gave me an escape. There were so many kid shows that Nickelodeon and Disney channel had that were ahead of their time in my opinion. If you’re a millennial, you grew up in the greatest era for kids and it will never be duplicated. We were outside 99% of the time and when we came inside our homes we had so much to look forward to. These things I would say are the genesis for me moving towards “nerd” interests like anime, manga, and comics. For example I heard artists like Lupe Fiasco rap about anime and it made me dive deeper into it even though I was already watching it before hearing him. It put a name to the art for me.
What I realized is that the older I got the more I was seen as eccentric for what I was into. People may not believe this but liking N.E.R.D’s music was “weird” or watching anime was strange. Going to the museum was unconventional in our culture.
Why the fuck is any of this shit eccentric? The shit I’m into is normal as fuck. All of this shit is regular. These bitches are weird for thinking my hobbies are strange.
Almost any other group of people can listen to rock or house music without it being a big deal because to those cultures it’s just music and it’s meant to be listened to but in my community it’s either seen as lame or this super niche activity.
The shit is annoying. Just because of where I grew up and because I’m black I’m supposed to only listen to Rap and R&B? I’m supposed to only be obsessed with video games such as NBA2K, Madden, first person shooters such as call of duty, goldeneye etc? I could understand if the majority of this shit was made by my people but a lot of this shit was created by other cultures. Why can’t I just fuck with everything I think is cool without it being a big deal?
I then realized I’ve done it to myself my whole life. I made it a big deal. I made it eccentric. By calling myself a nerd and anything different nerd things I conformed to the crowd. I was going along with what I thought was normal.
There’s nothing nerdy about anime. It;s just a form of entertainment. There’s nothing nerdy about comics. It’s just another form of stories. There’s nothing nerdy about museums. It’s a place for art and history. None of my hobbies are “nerdy” by definition. Nerds by definition are intelligent and socially awkward motherfuckers who are obsessed with science and computers. Last time that I checked I come across dumb bitch ass people who watch anime everyday. They’re the farthest from intelligent. They’re actually insufferable people.
I get that it makes it easier to place labels on things and people to help us identify them and set them apart from other things but it gets to a point where it gets strange to take it and slap it on anything you think is different.
The word nerd has misconstrued everyone’s understanding of humans especially when it comes to friendships and relationships.
Just because you think someone is a nerd does not mean they’re not capable of being terrible people. A nerd can abuse you just as much as a person you deem a non-nerd. They can steal just like anybody else can. They can be manipulative just like anyone else can. It’s like saying a R&B singer who sings about nothing but love could never abuse you because all they sing about is love. We all know that is bullshit.
I remember a scene from the movie “Knocked Up” where Paul Rudd's character sneaks off to play fantasy baseball with his friends without telling his wife (Leslie Mann) cause he was afraid to tell her about it and in the argument Leslie Mann said something that always stuck with me. She said….
“You just think because you don’t yell that you’re not mean but this is mean.”
People always think because it’s not an outburst or that it’s something that is flat out violent that it’s safe. Just because it’s subtle doesn’t mean it’s not problematic. I can yell out “YOU A BITCH” to someone and that would make them mad I’m sure but if I said something mean in a normal talking tone about their trauma or something I know they’re insecure about that would cut them deeper and hurt 1000 times more.
Some of the meanest people I’ve come across were everyone's definition of a nerd. Some of the most unforgivable crimes have been committed by “nerds.” Anyone is capable of violence and harming other human beings in any capacity.
There are 16 personality types. All of those personality types can love anime and all of those types could also murder someone. I hate to be morbid but it’s the truth. Which is why when I see people take other people's hobbies and occupations and treat them as the end all be all for who a person is, I shake my head in disappointment. I’m known for loving anime so I’ll stick to anime as an example….
If I met a woman who didn’t like anime or care for it but she was loving, full of integrity, empathy and kindness. I would not give a flying fuck about her not liking anime because how she is as a human trumps that shit. If she liked it, great it’s a bonus but who she is as a person is way more important than her not being interested in my hobbies. If I cared about her hobbies only, or what she owns or what she does for work then that shit will not last. Hobbies are too weak to be a foundation for anything. Hobbies are great to connect through but it’s not enough to sustain any relationship of any kind. I have friends who are not into damn near everything I'm into but we’ve been friends for decades. Everybody has something in common if they’re good, curious people. Curiosity can bring anyone together.
There’s more to me than my hobbies. I love to read fictional novels but I’ve seen awful things in the streets too. Some things I did. Some things I didn’t. Some days I wear clothes that some people would say only hood niggas wear, the next day I’ll be dressed like a skateboarder and the next day after that dressed like Carlton Banks and the next day after that dressed like a emo punk rock band member. I like clothes. The clothes don’t make me. I just like different fashion styles. I’m still me no matter what style of outfit I wear.
The moral of me yapping is I’m not a nerd. I’m just a nigga that likes what the fuck he likes.
