We take a lot of things for granted. It's a human flaw. It's difficult to be perfect. Actually impossible but we never realize what was in our presence and what we were sharing energy with until that energy is no longer around. I've done it numerous of times in relationships I've been in. Numerous men besides me have also done it in their past or current relationships I'm sure. It happens. It's a mistake I told myself I won't make again that's why I take my time with everything today. The past few years I've always been "That Guy." What is "That Guy" you ask? I'm the shoulder to lean on. The guy women vent to about their relationships. I'm not friendzoned. Don't ever play yourself. You know better. Some women I was intimate with and we just moved on from that type of relationship. Some women I'm just cool with and I don't like them in a intimate way.
They all complain about the same shit. I can give great advice because I used to be the headache that they're complaining about. Some listen. Some don't. I wish them the best either way. I've had situations where sometimes I wonder why some of the women I was intimate with are texting or calling me about their relationship while they're in relationship especially if we have history. I'm 100% sure they're not telling their man, "Hey, I'm just texting Benny you know the guy I slept with a year ago before we became a item. He gives such good advice when you're fucking up the relationship and I'm mad at you bae. He's awesome." It's none of my business but I know I'd flip the fuck out if my woman was texting her past hookup's religiously. It shows a lack of loyalty and actually it's emotionally cheating. This leads me to ask these questions. Is it something that I'm doing or she's missing in her situation that causes a woman to emotionally and mentally step away from what she has with her man? What the fuck are men lacking that causes their woman to text other men or just leave them completely? I have 12 possibilities.
SLEEP ON COMPETITION
Your woman will never tell you this but you're constantly in competition. You know how many dudes are stepping to your woman in person or through messages or in public when you're not around? You're competing with them. You have to be on point. You have to be on your woman mind to the point where if any man in the world stepping to her she will shut that shit down because she loves what she has and that's you. You have to be her drug. The moment you start slipping constantly. There will be a man waiting, doing all the shit you're not and he's going to be going hard at her because he's trying to win her over just like you were trying to when you first met her. You're going to slip up in the relationship. Everyday won't be a fairy tale. You're human but always make sure to just take a breath, reset, and do the things your woman fell in love with you for and keep getting better and better at it. It's hard and takes work to keep anything. Remember that.
Boring people hate boring people that's how bad boredom is. Don't ever be fucking boring. If that means throwing yourself down the stairs to keep shit interesting do it. A new episode of "Better Call Saul" came on a few days ago and Jimmy and his friend/love interest Kim hustled and finessed over a thousand dollars of drinks ($50 tequila shots) out of a stock broker by giving him fake names and pretending to be a married couple that inherited a million dollars and looking to invest. The broker kept buying them drinks because he wants them to invest through him so he can get a percentage. By the end of it they were drunk as shit at the brokers expense and went home and fucked. The ultimate role play. Goals people. Goals. I was watching that scene like "Man that would be fun as fuck to do that as a couple." Just try to make her have fun as much as possible. Always make her laugh and be exciting. Being a boring man has to be a top 3 terrible trait to have. You'll get cheated on or left behind in a heartbeat if you're boring. Don't be that.
LACK OF LEADERSHIP
Don't confuse this with being controlling or being a dickhead. Your woman can be the most independent woman on the planet but she won't want a man who's a follower or has to constantly ask her to do shit. Just take charge. Do shit without asking. You see her car needs a oil change. Change that shit before she even ask you. Handle the business. Man the fuck up and be the leader. If you're a leader then if your woman has a problem she has no problem coming to you before anyone else for help. If you acting like a weak ass guy she won't confide in you. Remember women don't hate nice guys like everybody says they just hate bitch ass dudes. She wants to be led.
SHE'S NOT FIRST
You can't put everything before your woman. I'm not saying drop all your goals and become completely obsessed with her and not give her space. Just have balance. If you're stopping at the store the first thing you need to do is call her and see if she wants anything. Food, supplies, etc. If you're running behind at school or at work just send a text to let her know you're running late. It's what a gentleman does. It's courtesy. It shows you thought of her first. If you don't do those things you're implying she's not a priority. Out of the millions of men in the world she chose to be with you. You have to treat that as an honor.
You can't be a grown man who's constantly complaining. You look like a child and your woman will look at you like a chump. Be the man who just shuts the fuck up and fix whatever the problem is. Carry yourself like a King. In my opinion complaining is only acceptable from a woman. That's it.
You have to talk about life with your woman. Your conversations have to be more than the usual shit like what happened at work or school. No gossip. Talk about weird things. Talk about the earth. Question things together. Be curious. Learn from each other. One of my ex's is probably one of the most enlightened women I know today and I never knew that until after we dated and that's because our conversations before had no depth. We're good friends now so every time we run into each other around St.Louis we have some dope conversations. If you show her that there are layers to you and not just what she sees physically she won't go anywhere. Be a man she can continuously learn and grow from.
LACK OF COMPLIMENTS
Of course you think she's beautiful but what good does that do if you never tell her? Like I said before she chose to be with you over other men. You're blessed. Remind her that you're blessed to have her in your life. Don't just compliment her physical beauty. Compliment her intellect. Compliment her on her style. Tell her you admire how she handles her business and how she treats people. Let her know that she's special to you. Give your confident woman more confidence.
LACK OF PROTECTION
The physical aspect of protection you already know what's up with that. I'm going deeper than fighting or keeping a gun around the crib. I'm talking about protection in the emotional form. Let's say for example your woman is arguing with someone and you know deep down your woman is in the wrong in the situation. Do not show her up in front of who she's arguing with. If it keeps getting worse remove your woman from the situation but NEVER take a side against your woman in public. If you disagree on her position of the conflict she's involved in just wait until you and her are behind closed doors to discuss that. If she's rational she'll calm down and admit she was wrong but she will definitely look at you like a King if you never switched sides on her. Women remember EVERYTHING and if you were there for her when she was wrong she'll return that favor ten times more. A woman who knows that her man will be there for her whether she's right or wrong will do everything in her power to make you happy and keep you happy. When she knows that you're always on her team even though sometimes she may not deserve it, she will never have to question your loyalty. She knows she has your support no matter what and that is a underrated form of protection. Protect her emotionally or she will find someone who will.
LACK OF SUPPORT
Piggy backing off the last point. Whatever your woman striving for you better be her biggest cheerleader. No one better not be a bigger supporter than you. She got a promotion at her job you better do a fucking backflip and bow down to your queen. Everyone needs support because it makes you want to work even harder and achieve more. Do this through good times and bad times. If your woman is going through tough times make sacrifices in your life to help and support her as much as possible. If she running low on money make sure you take care of that and give her what you have. If she lost a car and is having trouble getting to her job give up your car keys playa. Have her drop you off at your job and let her use the whip to get where she needs to go. Don't have your woman out here struggling and you not. Cowards do shit like that. No disrespect to anyone who take the bus or metrolink out here in St.Louis but I'll never have my woman taking public transportation while I'm out here with a whole whip. I'll take the public transportation and she'll use my car. I told you. What you give your woman she'll return 20 times more when she is able to. If you supported her when she was down, once she gets back up she will ride for you forever.
Times changing. This not 1962. Women aren't our maids anymore bruh. Don't get it twisted. Women will take care of us. It's in their mentality to nurture. They will cook and clean for us but they're not our slaves. Learn to cook some of her favorite meals. Give her a break. She work a job just like you do. She has goals to accomplish just like you do. She has good and stressful days just like you do. Give her some help. Clean up around the crib. Give a hand.
LACK OF SPIRITUALITY
If there's no spiritual energy in your bond then it will be hard to maintain. I'm not talking just religion. I'm just talking belief in general. You have to believe in something. Be spiritually aware and conscious. Remember the movie Pulp Fiction where Samuel L Jackson quit being a hitman because he survived 6 shots from a revolver at point blank range and he believed he felt the mercy of god and God stopped the bullets so he took that mercy as a warning and retired from being a hitman and John Trivolta made fun of him for it and didn't believe in the mercy and John ended up dying on the job. Don't be John Trivolta. Believe in something. Things with no spirituality just fall apart.
Every one is jealous. Some people just know how to suppress it more than others. Cut the outright jealousy shit out. You're a man. Some guys forget that their woman is a human also and get jealous when she interacts with other humans. It's always in fear of the woman leaving the guy for another guy. If she's going to leave you if you're good man to her then fuck it! God just did you a favor and that's her loss. You can't stop what supposed to happen if that makes sense. If she's with you and is a good woman then chill the fuck out and appreciate the woman you have. Stop trying to control everything your woman does. You're going to drive yourself crazy and she's going to resent you for it and leave you. Being controlling makes you look very weak and insecure. Control comes in many different ways. You can be controlling by constantly using guilt. You can be controlling by using your past fucked up relationships as the reason for your trust issues and justifying that as a good reason to invade her privacy and not give her space. Going through her social media and texts, etc. Unnecessary accusations. Attempting to keep her away from her friends and family. There are so many ways to be a insecure controlling asshole. Don't be a little bitch. Let your woman do her and let her be great.
Go conquer the world together you crazy kids.