Benny

HER BEAUTY IS "HER" BEAUTY

Benny
HER BEAUTY IS "HER" BEAUTY

Times always change. The older I become. The stranger things become. I thought I'd never be like the O.G'z I seen or interacted with when I was a teenager.  Always talking that back in the day shit. How they didn't understand why we listened to what we listened to. How we carried ourselves in the streets. What we did for recreation. How we solve problems and last and certainly not least how we view our women. 

Now these guys weren't relationship guru's or perfect with women themselves they had their faults but how I view women and determine if I'm interested in a woman, I learned from them. Now that I am older and sort of close to the position they were in back then I'm noticing something really weird and borderline creepy that black men do. Some of them are my age. A lot of them are younger but there is this weird epidemic going on where grown men actually care about if a woman has natural hair or a sew in or care if a woman wears makeup or not. Honestly I'm not sure if I ever did care. Knowing my sense of humor I'm sure I've joked about it but I assure you, I don't give a fuck how a woman does her hair or if she wears makeup. That's not my business or interest. I just give women compliments if I feel they look good and I keep it moving. I don't see how a man wouldn't feel less masculine for actually caring. The fact that men today know the brands of certain weaves and makeup is so fucking weird to me. Here's a list of shit men should be caring about instead.

God

Protecting loved ones

Steak Burritos and Chicken Tacos

Making sure the DVR is set to record "Pardon The Interruption" on ESPN while at work

Good Whiskey

Re-watching "Narcos"

A good pair of boots

Normal man shit on this list. I could keep going for days and months on things a man should care for but I will spare you. The fact I see men saying they wouldn't date a woman who wears makeup is very suspect and I'm sure their favorite movie is "Sleepless In Seattle." The women I grew up around rarely wore makeup. I can actually count on one hand the times I've seen my mother wear makeup or any of her sisters wear makeup. None of my ex-girlfriends wore makeup and that's not because I didn't ask them to it's just something they didn't do and I wouldn't care if they did. As long as our vibe is on the same wavelength that's all that counts.

Now there is a such thing as TOO much makeup and I think that's what some men actually mean to say but just don't know how to word it without being insensitive. When they word it incorrectly they make it seem that all women who choose to wear makeup are unattractive without it and they need it to boost their confidence and self esteem. If a woman feels she needs to wear makeup to boost her confidence well that's her business and not ours. I've seen some of the most beautiful women without makeup wear makeup. Why? I don't know and it isn't none of my business but if I were to guess I think some women just love to experiment with different looks. It's expression. It's Glamour. There can't be one definite answer because I'm sure every woman has different reasons for wearing make up but at the end of the day I don't care. A woman should do what makes her feel comfortable in situations like that. I had a beautiful young woman ask me recently for my opinion on what color makeup she should buy and I literally was fucking stumped. Like my brain couldn't really process it. I seriously thought she was joking. I'm a man. I don't know shit about makeup. I think she's beautiful with or without it. The only way I'll speak on a woman's makeup is if she asks my opinion on it or if it was smeared and I tell her so she can fix it. A lot of men think women are trying to deceive us by wearing makeup, and I think that's funny because as men we're still going to try to be intimate with that woman regardless so why does it matter? Women don't put us down for wearing hats all the time and saying you're trying to deceive them with your receding hairline or your odd shaped head so show some respect. As a man this is a battle you can't win and putting down a woman for wearing makeup is corny. I hate to burst your bubble but damn near all your favorite rappers and actors wear makeup for magazine shoots and shit like that but you still buying their music and tickets to films. Just stay away from the subject unless you're asked about it. 

HAIR

Hair. Hair. Hair. There's this war going on between the natural haired women and the women who don't wear their natural hair. I've seen them slandering each other on social media and I have no problem with that if it's only between women but when men try to intervene that's when it becomes silly. Women arguing about it is also silly but when men jump in it becomes even more ridiculous. I think no one should care what someone does with their hair but the world we live in will never be perfect so there's no stopping that. This leads me to some interesting quotes below. 

"And then I became aware of a whole new generation of black women hiding under wigs, ashamed of their hair, if they had any left." - Assata Shakur

"When you wear your hair a certain way or when you wear a certain type of clothes, you are making a statement about yourself. When you go through all your life processing and abusing your hair so it will look like another race of people, then you are making a statement and the statement is clear." - Assata Shakur

"For me, it was important not just because of how good it made me feel but because of the world in which I lived. In a country that is trying to completely negate the image of Black people, that constantly tell us we are nothing, our culture is nothing, I felt and still feel that we have got to constantly make positive statements about ourselves." - Assata Shakur (On why she wears her natural hair)

I kind of agree with the great Assata Shakur from that aspect. I'm not even going to lie. It's something about a woman wearing her natural hair that screams ROYALTY to me. I told yall The Black Woman is God on Earth. Women from other races wish they had the black woman's features. The black woman is the most imitated. Natural hair just conveys POWER! Go look at pics from a afropunk festival and tell me different. I dare you! 

Now would I prefer to date a woman who wears her natural hair? It doesn't matter to me because I'm a man who is all about vibes. If me and her are compatible then we're good. My preference of a woman wearing her Natural hair or Sew in's are irrelevant if she treats me good and I like her. If she wearing her natural hair it's just a bonus to me because I'm really proud of our roots in our culture but I would never turn down a good woman just because she wearing weave. It's just dumb. A man caring about how a woman wears her hair may be worse than caring about the makeup. I've seen men call women who wear their natural hair dirty. I've seen men call women dirty for wearing sew in's. Again that's just more sucka shit that goes on in society. A man worried about a woman's hair needs to do some serious self evaluating. 

Her beauty is "Her" beauty and doesn't concern us. Just be glad we're in their presence. 

- BENNY