Benny

SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS PREPARED ME FOR ADULTHOOD

Benny
SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS PREPARED ME FOR ADULTHOOD

We can't start this without determining why I grew up in the greatest decade of cartoons ever. The 90's. Only 90 babies that get a pass are 1990 through 1992. If you were born in those years you're good. You understand. You at least can recall some of the golden era of cartoons. The 80's Saturday Cartoon lineups were crazy too. Voltron, Smurfs, Heathcliff And The Catillac Cats, Transformers, Thundercats, Snorks. They had heat but I vaguely can remember them. All I remember being obsessed with in the late 80's as a toddler was Eazy-E, Heathcliff, Ducktales, Woody Woodpecker, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but I know I watched all that shit. I just cant remember too well. When I lived in Seattle for a year I remember I'd wake Saturday's watching "Danger Mouse" (Picture Above). The secret agent mouse who's codename had a codename and "Inspector Gadget" with the cool ass boss villain "Dr.Claw" who had that fly ass spaceship and that ugly ass cat. 

I really feel sorry for the kids born after 1992. It's one thing to go back and watch all these gems today because the internet is so powerful and you have streaming services like Netflix and Amazon Prime that upload classics for you to stream but it's another thing to be there in the moment and experience the pure joy of waking up and being excited to see what's going to happen on the 5 episode "Dark Phoenix Saga" on X-Men The Animated Series. I believe if they brought back Saturday Morning Cartoons with the lineups from the 90's, violence in the United States would decrease and the youth will be smarter and more responsible. No joke. My momma didn't play that shit. I knew if I fucked up in school that week she wouldn't let me watch shit and beat my ass in the process or if I didn't have the house clean she was going to make me clean it during my favorite cartoons on purpose. Cartoons gave me some act right. 

Today could you imagine a Friday night out with your significant other (Bae's are what we call them) and then waking up the next morning together for some Saturday Morning Cartoons and chill? I would actually give a fuck about a relationship if that occurred. Just shutting the fuck up together watching Darkwing Duck is a love I want to experience.  

It wasn't just Saturday cartoons that were great. Cartoons all week were timeless. You had Mega Man, Super Human Samurai, Biker Mice From Mars, Beast Wars, Robocop, Samurai Pizza Cats, Quack Pack, James Bond Jr, Captain Planet, Street Sharks, Toxic Crusaders, Bucky O'Hare, Widget, Eureka's Castle, man yall just don't know. I'm really showing my age but I don't give a fuck. Let's go through my favorite 90's Saturday Morning Lineups and show some more greatness. 

NICKELODEON

Okay for me, this started at 6:00 am all the way to 1:00pm. Here's the order. 

  • Nick Arcade
  • Nick Wild Side Show
  • Doug
  • Rugrats
  • Muppet Babies (1 hour 2 episodes)
  • Tiny Toon Adventures (1 hour 2 episodes)
  • Beetlejuice
  • Salute Your Shorts
  • Hey Dude (I didn't watch this bullshit I changed the channel)
  • My Brother And Me
  • Looney Tunes

Nickelodeon was definitely up there. The 2nd best lineup ever. Muppet Babies was such a dope ass show looking back on it and Nick Arcade had a bunch of rookies older than me who sucked at playing video games. I always dreamed of going on that show. 

ABC

Lineup wise it really wasn't consistent but they had some classics over the years in their lineup I fucked with.

  • Goof Troop
  • Darkwing Duck 
  • Mighty Ducks
  • Sonic The Hedgehog (Stefan Urkel did Sonic's voice over. Real shit)
  • Doug (The middle school version)
  • Recess 

CBS

This lineup over the years was the same story as ABC but worse. Majority of the shows I did not fuck with. I only liked 2.  

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Might be the greatest cartoon ever)
  • Garfield And Friends (I'm lazy as fuck because Garfield showed me the way)

FOX (SPRING 1995)

Are you ready? You are about to read the greatest cartoon lineup in the history of cartoons. Fuck a debate. I don't want to hear it. Nothing was touching the Spring of 1995. Nothing. It was nothing but net for like 4 straight hours. 

  • Animaniacs
  • Power Rangers
  • EEK The Cat
  • Batman
  • Spider-Man
  • The Tick
  • X-Men 
  • Where Is Carmen Sandiego

Un. Fucking. Touchable. THE GOAT. Fox had Bobby's World, Taz-Mania, and Life with Louie too. 

The WB had some cool shows on Saturday too like Waynehead, Freakazoid, Pinky and The Brain, Earthworm Jim. NBC had Alvin and The Chipmunks, Super Mario Bros, and Kid N Play. Pokemon came in 1998 on WB and that was the last timeless cartoon of the era and basically the end of the era. 

It was just something about sitting through school for 5 long ass days and then chilling on Friday night watching Video Soul on BET until 10pm and then I would go to bed and wake up right at 6:00am with no alarm clock. It was some scary shit. My body just knew when it was time to get up. Look outside my window usually would see the crackheads high as fuck walking up and down the block. Hop out of bed go get my pop tarts because I never ate cereal because I didn't like milk. Go to the basement if I wanted to watch Nickelodeon because we only had cable in the basement. If I wanted to watch the local channels I had a old beat up tv in my room and I would just watch the shows there. 

COMMERCIALS 

The commercials were so creative and original. You had the cereal commercials. Kids scheming on bowls of cereal with evil villain music in the background because there possibly were no more Corn Pops. Golden Crisps with the cool smooth talking Sugar Bear. Sprinkle Spangles cereal. Cinnamon Toast Crunch came with the crazy straws. Hidden Treasures cereal with the fruity insides. Alpha Bits was basically Lucky Charms with letters. Berry Kix that came with the fruit snacks in every box. Quaker Oatmeal Kids Choice that would change the color of your oatmeal. Pop Tarts Crunch (Yall don't remember that haha). Cap'n Crunch had the the scratch off contest where you could win a new Starter Jacket. Smacks cereal with the talking frog that had a voice as if he's been smoking cigarettes for 23 years. My little brother used to eat all of these.  

You had the fast food and snacks commercials. Basically McDonalds and Burger King ran that shit. McDonalds had the best toys so I always paid attention to see what toys they had in the happy meals. Burger King had the Kids Club with Kid Vid. Kid Vid had the coolest shades ever. Pizza Hut and Little Caesars were the best in the pizza game. Pizza Hut had the X-Men pizza pack that came with the personal pizza, drink, and a X-Men comic book. Dunkaroos with those kids doing tricks on roller blades and dunking cookies into frosting. Trix yogurt. Before Twisslers pull and peel there were Fruit Strings. Big Red was the only gum that promoted that it was the best gum to have for making out with honey's. 

The toy commercials drove my momma crazy because I was always begging for shit. You had the Yellow Super Soaker with the green bottle. She got me that. Crossfire with the hyped white boy screaming "YEAH! YEAH!" There was Pogs and nobody knew how to play pogs we just collected those shits and lost them. Mouse Trap. Fuck the game we just set up the Mouse Trap. Anyone who actually knows the rules to Mouse Trap gotta be a weirdo. Stretch Armstrong and his nemesis Vac-man. Tiger handheld games. Lego system sets. Creepy Crawlers. Talkboy (Hi kids we're home early looking ass boy). Nickelodeon Floam (Play dough on steroids). Any action figures I could get my hands on. Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, G.I Joe, Beast Wars, Transformers. Toys in the 90's might be the GOAT too. 

Whenever I become a father or if I ever do. I want my kids to experience the same joys of my childhood. I just want to collect a bunch of old cool shows and have them watch them on saturday mornings and let them eat all the cool breakfast foods they can find and want. If they want to use a big ass salad bowl for cereal I'm going to let them. They're going to live it up and watch the Dark Phoenix Episodes from X-Men the animated series and Curly Snaps episode from Hey Arnold. 

Looking back on my saturday mornings in my childhood full of cartoons. It really prepared me for adulthood. I never noticed this until I was watching Bobby's World on Amazon Prime and thinking about the way I am as an adult. Those legendary lineups really help shape my personality.

TIME MANAGEMENT

I low key learned how to tell time because of Saturday morning cartoons. In the house I grew up we didn't have a lot of digital clocks so I had to learn how to tell time to make sure I didn't miss my shows. It also taught me how to manage my time. I basically had my day planned out and cartoons jump started that. I wake up. Wash my face. Brush my teeth. Eat breakfast. Watch cartoons for 4-5 hours. Play video games or go outside and find the house with all the bikes outside of it because that was the house all my homies was at and the house that was cracking. I learned about scheduling. As an introverted adult I schedule my days here and there. I freestyle things these days mostly but when I do sit down and schedule my days I have no problems. It comes rather easily thanks to cartoons. 

WAKING UP EARLY

All the dope shit would be on early so I was accustomed to waking up early no matter what time I went to bed. Some nights I would stay up for no reason and watch The Three Stooges or play my Sega Genesis. My momma didn't really care how long I stayed up as long as I was quiet. Waking up early is good for your health as an adult. One of the best feelings is getting shit done before 10am. It feels so fucking good to me and waking up early helps me accomplish that feeling. I think I've only slept past 12pm one time in my life. 

MIND MY BUSINESS

I did not give a flying fuck about anyone else while watching saturday morning cartoons. My mom never had to worry about me being one of those kids that ask a million questions or up under her 24/7. I was glued to the T.V minding my business unless she called me to yell at me about some shit I didn't clean up or she needed my help with something. This is Benny time. I don't care what's going on in your life. Cartoons centers my fucking chi. This time keeps me sane. After cartoons we can talk about whatever you want. I'm the same way as an adult. I'm not interested in business that doesn't concern me. I'm in my own world probably writing or watching Hey Arnold. I'm the last man you ever have to worry about hearing gossip from. I'm out of the loop when it comes to people's lives. 

PATIENCE

You know how much patience you have to have to watch X-Men The Animated Series? There was a Cliffhanger every week. I used to get so sad when I first started watching but then I learned to accept it. I gained patience. X-Men is seriously why I'm so patient. Only thing I'm not patient with is disrespect. Saturday morning cartoons kind of warped time for me. I rarely feel time is going slow no matter where I'm at so I guess contributes to this factor. 

I may be old but damn I'm thankful I grew up in the greatest cartoon era. 

- BENNY