Awwwww you mothafuckas (*Denzel voice*). You knew this shit was coming and it's coming from the worlds biggest New Edition fan.
I've been listening to New Edition since I was 3 years old. They are the greatest group in music history. OVER ANY GROUP. I don't give a fuck. The Beatles, Jackson 5, Temptations, The Beets from Doug whoever the fuck you name, New Edition is better.
I wanted to dance like Bobby Brown and Ralph Tresvant. I wanted to dress like Bell Biv Devoe. I didn't want to do shit Johnny Gill did. No disrespect the nigga could sing though. Lady Dujour could help you peel the drawls/pannies (Yes I spell panties that way) off any woman in the world in any situation.
After months of waiting. Counting down the days. We're finally here.
The New Edition Story Part One Recap.
Y'ALL PROBABLY WONDERING HOW I GOT HERE ....
I knew that shit was coming at the beginning. "It was all good a few years ago how did it get like this" head ass. Shit was hilarious to me all was missing was the freeze frame.
Bobby Brown was bicken back being bool on stage in the all red suit taking up all the performance time and Ronnie tall ass wasn't having that shit.
To be fair Bobby Brown was high as an Eagle's ass on that tour. That was "I'm all about Whitney and Cocaine" Bobby Brown on that stage.
Bobby and Ronnie fight all because of some bitch ass nigga in Bobby's ear. It's always some chump on that type of shit. The entourages jump in and pulls out the pistol and we rewind back to Boston. Orchard Park Projects.
WHERE IT ALL STARTED
Ricky Bell and Michael Bivens relationship is established first. Off the rip Ricky asking his mom to hang with Mike at a local talent show. She tells him no because she thinks Mike is a bad influence but Ricky ignores her and sneaks out. Shit that was probably easy. Ricky Bell had more siblings than Frank Lucas on American Gangster. You wouldn't know if he was gone.
Ricky and Mike go to support their homie Bobby Brown (The King Of R&B) in the talent show. They watch a group before Bobby named "The Untouchables" and they low key get inspired. Bobby comes out next to perform but he pulled a B-Rabbit at the Shelter. He choked like Trustus in CB4 and gets booed off stage.
Michael Bivens heard someone talking shit about Bobby in the crowd and what does Mike do? He starts flaming dude in his homie honor. Mike was with the shits.
After Bobby tried to lie to the homies about freezing up like a Root Beer popsicle all the way in the back of the freezer because nobody eats them shits they devise a plan to get back in the talent show but they need another member.
Enter The Stone Cold Gentleman.
Ricky suggests they recruit Ralph as the fourth member. Bobby and Mike weren't feeling the idea because Ralph was a kung fu master and shit.
After a sing off between Ricky and Ralph for the heart of Zina I was like "Go Demarcus, Go Demarcus, Go Demarcus." but for real they sang Earth Wind & Fire to Zina and after Zina ditches both of them for the ice cream truck which is understandable, Ralph is apart of the gang.
This scene shows you how unique Ralph is from the others in the group. Sort of an outcast. Kind of foreshadowing for the future.
They got the group formed now they are rehearsing for the talent show. They're unorganized and don't really have direction which is expected because they're just kids.
Ricky's sister did something that most adults need to do with their kids. Give them a push.
She told them if they want to be a group they need to go all in and get a manager. She was the one that believed in their vision and pushed them forward. Just imagine if she wasn't there? New Edition probably wouldn't exist.
GO GET IT AND DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER
Brooke aka Avon Barksdale from The Wire comes with the Pee Wee Kirkland haircut strolling out the club and the gang roll up on him to ask if he would manage them. He says he doesn't deal with kids and he pays them no mind.
Refusing to take no for an answer the boys perform in front of his car to prevent him from driving off and Brooke tells them to meet him at the rec center at 9am.
You can't ever give up. They had a dream and they were persistent to see it through. If he would've left then those kids would've stalked that man until he said yes. I'm sure of that.
Brooke teaches them work ethic and how to work as a group to prepare them for talent shows. He had them working like a basketball team and shit. All those kids want to to do is hoop and kiss girls through window screens. If my girl willing to give me tongue through the window screen shit we gotta get married. She fucked around and risked getting malaria or some shit on her tongue just to fuck with me. I gotta wife her.
THE DEMO DEAL
So the gang enters a talent show with the grand prize being a demo deal. This shit was ran by some nigga named Maurice. Big Worm was Big Perm forreal this time. Boy that nigga hair was fried and extra crispy like a fresh 3 piece.
Should be a easy win right? I mean it was a nigga pop locking in a candyman jacket having a casket match on stage like The Undertaker in the 1998 Royal Rumble.
They kill the talent show but get robbed of first place but the nigga with the jerk chicken perm gives them the demo deal anyway. He later recommends a 5th member.
The nephew of Brooke the manager is brought in as the 5th member and I'll tell you one thing. Ronnie little brother wasn't shit. Hahahahaha. He was flaming Ronnie's life away in front of their mom. Lil dude had no heart. He was ruthless. Telling him he can't dance or sing and that he don't belong in the group. Kids just don't give a fuck about your feelings bruh.
My little brother never would flame me like that. He not good enough. Ronnie gotta get his jokes up.
Ronnie fits in right away and New Edition is finally complete.
LOYALTY OVER MONEY
Ralph in my opinion is the most naturally talented of the group. He's the total package. He's super unique and his type of talent doesn't come around often. Maurice the greaseball notices that.
Maurice tries to get Ralph to go solo and ditch the group. Looking at Ralph's circumstances it should be an easy decision. He didn't have a phone. Barely could afford a Christmas tree. He was poor as fuck. He wouldn't have to split money with 4 other guys if he goes solo and takes Maurice's offer.
Ralph handled that shit like a G and the young GOAT he is. He told Maurice he wasn't singing shit without his homies like a real one should've. What Maurice think Ralph was? One of those niggas who forget the set when he blow? Nah. Loyals over Royals.
They sign the contracts and they have their first record deal. Candy Girl is a huge hit and New Edition are officially professionals.
Fucked up part is that those same circumstances of living in poverty will cause you to rush shit. They had no one to help them look over those contracts. Each member was only getting $500 a piece which isn't shit but that's a lot to kids in the projects. Those kids were at least worth 5 times that each but no one was there to tell those kids and their parents that.
The kids hear themselves on the radio. Do shows. Ride on motorbikes through the hood. Have hood fame but they weren't generating money. They have no idea it's an illusion and they're just slaves while the nigga with the worse perm in history is making hundreds of thousands on the back end. They're poor kids so they were easy to manipulate.
DIVIDE AND CONQUER
For the album shoot you continue to see the adults involved create friction amongst the kids. It goes against what Brooke preached in the first practice with the boys. No man is bigger than the group.
They single out Ralph which will make the other members resent him even though Ralph was the one who saved the group and wanted everybody to eat. It's not fair to the kids at all. Had everybody on the cover except Ralph and Mike looking sadder than kids who wants McDonalds but they momma tell them "Do you got some McDonalds money?" Knowing damn well we ain't got shit.
SOMEBODY COME GET KURTIS BLOW PUNK ASS.
Boy you don't get cho "It's like a jungle sometimes" head ass on somewhere. He don't even sing that shit but he rap like he do.
How the fuck a grown ass man gone be jealous of kids. Nigga, Bobby Brown and Ralph Tresvant are in your presence go get those young GOATS some cold juiceboxes and be glad you fucking met them. Kurtis Blow should be asking them for an autograph not the other way around. The nerve of that nigga.
Anyway before they were rudely interrupted by that Ned Flanders Mustache having ass nigga they perform Candy Girl and shut the Roseland down. Mike even asked for a shorty number mid performance and he's a LEGEND for doing so.
POP OUT SHOW OUT
Bruh if a black woman pop up at yo crib at 2am she either love the fuck outta you or she about to kill yo ass. Bobby and Ricky momma's roll up on Brook at his crib to have him run them some money.
They had them kids slaving night after night and wasn't getting a dime. Shit they did what any normal momma would do. Rolled up on that nigga like some gangstas. Brooke assures them that money is coming and they get off his ass for the moment.
The boys are on tour slaving all over the world just to come right back to the projects and this nigga Brooke did the dumbest shit possible.
This nigga brings back a check to 5 poor single black mothers for $1.87 for them to split amongst themselves. They should've did what the check amount said and 187'd his ass for real for doing that dumb shit. He was better off coming with nothing.
He explains why he came with that amount as if they gave a fuck hahahaha those women don't care about that shit. They bout to beat his ass.
He got his silly ass fired which was well deserved.
LA LA LAND
The gang has a new manager and a new deal so they relocate to Los Angeles and meet with their new boss.
But fuck all that lets talk about Kyle Watson from "Above The Rim" (Duane Martin) sideburns. Nigga had two strips of velcro on the side of his face. Shits looked like electrical tape. I paused my DVR and was on the floor crying at this nigga sideburns bruh. You can't be Tank's assistant with those sideburns. This nigga must be made unemployed immediately.
Gary (the new manager) has the gang sing "Popcorn Love" in the office and the label boss looks at them with the Waka Flocka Meme "OK" face. Then proceeds to go off on Gary and lets him know he's not impressed.
The young GOATS known as New Edition don't care about that shit they in L.A so they do what real niggas do. Call some shorty's over to get active in the new crib.
When it's finally time to get to work Ralph is the only one working in the studio but not by choice. Again it's the adults singling him out and leaving the other group members out of the mix. They're trying to make him this solo star on the low. The rest of the gang leave to go to the mall to get more honey's.
Ralph finally gets done at the studio and comes back to the spot to see the homies got the kickback cracking but they didn't have no shorty lined up for him or no chicken. They left the spot with the chicks and they left my nigga Ralph one lonely ass chicken wing after a long day of work. Sad as fuck.
Just like we seen Ralph in the beginning doing karate kicks by himself with no friends he's by himself again with no friends and this time there's no karate kicks and just the little piece of chicken Chris Rock warned us about to keep him company. He's an outcast.
Tomorrow we see The Legend That is Bobby "The King Of R&B" Brown.