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This art shit sad. It’s just that simple. This creative life not fair and never will be. I’m not complaining about it at all. I knew what the fuck I was getting into the moment I made a pledge to myself to be consistent with this shit. I’m just informing people who really thinking about coming into this shit that you will be saying to yourself “This is some bullshit.” or “What the fuck?!” Almost everyday. It’s really frustrating and the level of frustration also depends on what you do also. This is the hardest shit to turn into a profitable business. You’re second guessed almost everyday by everyone. Everyday it’s a new person with something to say about what the fuck you got going on or the same old annoying person talking shit putting what you do or what you wanna do down. 


The highs of being an artist is addicting. The first time you achieve something creatively that satisfies you is so addictive. It’s like that first high or the first time you had sex or the first time you had chicken. You just want more of it but when the lows hit they’re are almost unbearable. It’s some real depressing shit. The fucked up part is that some of the best and most beautiful creations come from this depressing state. Just look around you. People love to watch the train wreck. The negative gets more attention. 


If you really genuine about this creative shit your feelings to create come from such a deep place and those feelings are how you’re able to connect with the people who admire your work. 


But where I feel the sad shit comes from is the lack of fairness in art and creativity. But why? What makes art unfair? 




Being creative and working on your art is a gamble because you don’t know where you’ll end up and everything is unknown. Being a artist is literally you getting your ass beat everyday and getting up over and over again to create all over again and get your ass beat again. Everyday you catch your fade and some people get up and some don’t. It’s a never ending process. It’s basically figuratively getting punched in the face for a living. 




The crazy part is you can be the most organized person in the world plan everything out to perfection and everything will go off the rails and it won’t even be your fault. Creativity is illogical. Traveling to point A to point B doesn’t exist. The creative adventure doesn’t ever work out like that. The journey is not straight. It’s like you playing a video game and you continuously yelling at the tv while getting your ass beat by the cpu and saying “THIS GAME IS FUCKING CHEATING!!” You might start over on the same stage or you might start the game all the way over from the beginning. Art don’t care about stages. Your map is useless. Your strategy guide is useless. You just gotta be prepared to lose but not quit. 




As an artist you could paint the Sistine Chapel in every church in America flawlessly and someone will STILL ask you “What’s next?” It will never be enough. Nobody cares about anything great you’ve done and you’re not allowed to use past accolades at all. The moment you drop something the next week people want more immediately. Nothing holds anyone’s attention as an artist. Sometimes you don’t see shit from it. If a artist takes a break there's a possibility they'll lose support. Their support is not a lock. Support for creativity is wishy washy. Consistency is ONLY praised if it is deemed by the masses that you're still "poppin." If you're not popular but your work is not below average and is still pretty good. You will be called "washed." We gotta be GREAT or nothing at all. Look at Jay-Z career. He put out ONE bad album after a 8 year run and they DESTROYED him. No one gave a fuck about Reasonable Doubt, Black Album, or Blueprint they said that nigga needs to stop rapping NOW! 


Look at a lawyer. They can win the biggest case of their career and their reputation and their price point can be set off that case for as long as they choose to practice law. Their retainer will never drop no matter how many cases they lose after that huge case they won. For artists it’s the opposite. Shoot one great video and if the rest aren’t as good your rep takes a hit and almost everyone turns on you and the calls dry up. They destroy you. They don’t destroy the lawyer. Their price might go up. They won’t ask him or her “What’s next?”


No matter how many articles I write. Nobody cares about what I wrote in the past. They want to know “Where’s the new shit?” This shit is super sad because sometimes artists may hit their peak and that’s gonna be the highlight of their life and they won’t surpass it and they will be ridiculed for it and that’s where the depression will set in. It’s a possibility that this blog may be the greatest accomplishment I’ll ever have. What if this is it? What if I peaked? What do I do after this shit? What the fuck is next? I’ll always keep writing no matter what so I guess I just answered my own question. 


We make money off what we do next. Not our reputation. The profit not guaranteed. Nothing is secure if we just show up and work like any other profession. People want us to always exceed. We can never coast or decline or we’ll be deemed as finished in society. Our greatness is only tolerated if we’re always active or if we’re dead. It doesn’t seem like a grey area exists. 


Creativity not fair but I rather be treated unfairly and still do this shit than be treated fairly and never have this shit at all. On mommas.