Winters aren’t for cuffing season. It’s for decluttering your life and preparing for the bitch ass sun not to have a weak ass curfew no more. I did this last year and it made my life smoother than a Roy Ayers playlist. 

Decluttering is much more than getting rid of all your clothes or shit in your kitchen you don’t use. It’s about your spirit too. Clutter effects how you think also. Only thing you need a lot of is music. Dassit. I learned about decluttering from Phoebe from Hey Arnold. Her room was a minimalist paradise. 

First figure out why you want to declutter and why you need to. What will happen if you don’t declutter? What do you feel will be the hardest part about it? Do you feel you even need to? 

I like to start with my mind first so the first thing I start with is. 


Nothing makes my dick harder than erasing an entire text message thread. Especially if you’ve become annoying or boring to me. The feeling of erasing a text thread damn near on the level of receiving good coochie and knowing you have leftovers in your fridge when it’s all over. Text messaging is annoying. If you know me then you know I think all human interaction is annoying but the past few months I’ve fallen into that text messaging loop by making it my only form of communication when it used to be my last. I’m getting back to just ignoring text messages unless they’re funny or someone asking me to meet them somewhere.  All that clutter in your phone is where a lot of y’all should start because that’s where yall spend most of yall time at. Get phone numbers you don’t use the fuck outta there too. If I haven’t contacted you in 90 days, you never gave me immaculate sex that is still attainable or at least have a solid friendship with me then your number is no longer in my phone and I will not feel ashamed telling you I don’t have your number anymore when yall catch me at an event and try to network me and lets work me to death. Photos too. I never look at photos again after I take them. Waste of space.


Take the 10 unhealthiest things you eat. Replace 5 of them with healthy alternatives. 5 bad things. 5 good things. Balance mothafucka. My plan is to stop my fruit snacks addiction once and for all but replacing it with some type of fruit. Tacos I’m never giving up so yall can suck a dick if you thought I was doing that. Chips I think I can get the fuck outta my life. I only eat them when I binge watch shows and I don’t watch much TV anyway. Winter is the best time to get your diet in check because it’s the most trash season and if you like me you not going no fucking where so you can experiment with different healthy recipes in the kitchen and see what fits you. 


Alcohol is a fucking drug and I’m usually the most sober in the winter because being drunk in the winter is not fun. If I pass out people gotta dress me in my coats and flannels and shit then undress me when they get me home to my bed. When its spring and summer I have no layers so just help my dumbass to the backseat of the car and leave me on the porch like Groove in House Party 1. I don’t get drunk like that anymore cause I’m a man and I can handle my shit. I’m not a big smoker to begin with. I’m one of those social smokers. I rarely smoke at home. Depends on my mood. Getting a better handle on the drugs you take in the winter is smart as fuck. I know everyone would relapse the moment they see them cheeks poking out the first sundress they see but niggas can dream right? Just slow down in the winter I suppose. 


If I believe and feel that my time will not be wasted with you or wasted on you then congrats you are not apart of this decluttering. If you are apart of it. It’s nothing personal. I’ll still be cordial and polite during any interaction we have but I don’t like people in my life just taking up space or people who try and treat me like I ain’t that nigga or a good person and try to take advantage of my kindness. Go do that shit with someone who’s okay with that or actually don’t even do that. Just be a better person. I don’t have the patience or mental capacity to spread my energy to people just because we know each other or we follow each other on the internet. I really need to do this in my dating life also because dating multiple people not fun at all. Don’t know how to explain it but I feel incomplete when I have a roster. I’m not the best Benny when I’m on that type of time. It’s not fair to me or the women I’m on that level with. Like I said. Less is more. Anybody who don’t believe less is more or love having lots of options I really don’t wanna be around. They’re dangerous and attention whores to me. So anybody that you have to work hard to keep in your life, or can’t understand how to respect you, can’t understand your boundaries. It’s time to remove them. Unfollow them on social media. Remove their number. It’s declutter time. Remove anything and anybody that don’t bring you joy. Don’t give a fuck if I love you or not, I don’t negotiate my peace of mind for nobody and neither should you.  


Aye man fuck clothes bruh. Even tho I can dress better than 95% of mankind and make that shit look easy I’m over that materialistic weirdo shit. It’s a waste of money. I wear shit and don’t care for it 5 seconds after I put it on. Clean out that closet. You know damn well you not wearing half of the shit in there and making excuses on why to hold onto it. If you haven’t worn it in 90 days or more. Get rid of it. I’m bout to wear the same shit everyday like a cartoon character and these shorties still gone want a nigga. 


Niggas be having shit I seen on Dexter’s Laboratory in their kitchen and ain’t used that shit since they bought it. You not making the crabby patty formula. Get rid of that shit man. 


Aight my shit is outta control. I wake up damn near everyday to a charge and I forgot I was subscribed to the shit that charged me. I only need one music subscription. One streaming service for shows. If you haven’t been to the gym in 4 months. Cancel that shit and eat right and do jail workouts. You’ll get in good shape that way too. The gym just has more variety and that’s it. You’ll save so much money if you get rid of subscriptions and memberships you really don’t use. 


It’s pointless. Get rid of the mentality of shopping cures depression or makes you happy. You don’t give a fuck bout that shit. Spend that money on your brand or something. Give to a charity. Buy a plane ticket. Stop buying shit you don’t need. 


Everybody has that drawer with all miscellaneous shit in it. It be screws in there and you have no idea what that shit belong to. Mail that you don’t need to keep. Pins. Buttons. Magnets. Throw all that shit away and put your weed in that drawer. Grow up. 

This is the effects of decluttering unnecessary people and things. 

  • Your mental and physical health will improve significantly. You’ll feel like a person who just got top after 8-9 hours of sleep. Very fucking refreshed. Your space will be cleared. Your mind will be cleared. Your life will be cleared of fuck niggas and bitches. Everything is peace. 

  • Stress levels lower Eastside High’s test scores before Mr.Clark came to the school. When you downsize and keep the things you need and the right people around you. You’re not stressing . 

  • Your time is increased as far as not having to spend time o those people or things. The more shit you got the more cleaning you gotta do. The more annoying people in your life the more you gotta explain yourself. When you remove em your time is not focused on those things anymore and you can put that spare time into things that make you happy. 

I got rid of a lot of clothes and almost half my book collection. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no. That anime collection ain’t going no fucking where like me this winter. Good fucking day. Get rid of yall shit tho. People included. 


Follow us on twitter and instagram 




Listen to the blog podcast Polite Coolery.