"Risk is a dick.... ride it." Greatest quote since "When life gives you lemons say fuck the lemons and bail." I have a feeling Zlata listens to Trina and she is filthy as fuck and philosophical and as a fellow emotional whore I stan for her as an author.
Jennifer momma look like she would snort coke off ya dick in Vegas & pretend you never existed afterwards. She just look nasty.
Sweet water & XXL are the worse names ever. They stink and shows us that we need to ban male strippers along with all of the government.
Bryce got three parts in his head and now he’s a man that can’t be reasoned with at all. He will be now known as Rue21 Savage.
Dr. Ken got crystals and sage in his office like a art hoe. I kinda respect that.
Desna is the goat. Zlata is right. You want some shit done right find a black woman to do it for you.
When Polly said it "Broke out my coochie" I immediately had a herpes joke in the chamber but I'm better than that. Whore, I've changed.
Virginia hopped over the car pregnant like Bobby Shmurda in the "Computers" video.
Virginia was giving happy endings behind of a Steak ‘n Shake. Aye you can't beat a fresco melt along with a happy ending. Virginia has a entrepreneurial spirit if you think about it.
Dean don’t want a baby. He's Jody from Baby Boy.
Was Desna eating hormel chilli like a racist old white man along with that chocolate cake? Whatever keeps her thicker than 6 southern preacher sermons I fully endorse it.
Roller having the worse sex of his life with a woman that looks like an extra from a Judd Apatow movie. Life comes at you quick.
Zlata runs shit too loosely but I think there's a method to her madness. I think she likes to let people feel like they have freedom and are in control and then she gets into some goon shit.
Rollers role in the organization. Might be key but it feels like a setup.
Dean just dropped a 3rd round Smack battle don demarco bomb on the protesters. Nothing but FACTS!
Did Martha Stewart just say she had a abortion in a Deli? I don't know whether to laugh or be disturbed? How you getting abortions next to cold cuts and Italian herbs and cheese bread?
Quiet Ann is right. There’s no obama in there. There's a Vince Staples in Virginia. Even better.
Jennifer looks like she bout to say “They took our jobs” in that outfit her momma made her.
Dean & Virginia the most relevant couple on tv since Dwayne Wayne & Whitley. Wedding bout to be lit.
Desna really gone kill Virginia somewhere down the line of this series.
Roller smashing Zlata? This bitch is ruthless & I love her. My kind of evil hoe.
Dr Kenneth is so trash in this commercial that they bout replace him with ol boy in a thing 1 & thing 2 onesie. He'll never live it down.
Homie was dancing in a Freddie Prinze Jr sweater in the commercial. I'm SHOOK!
Those raining pills background looked like some Sonic the hedgehog level shit or I'm just too high.
Anybody got Virginia sex tape for research purposes? Get Zlata on the phone. We need another favor.
Bryce gone smash. Jennifer momma. I see it coming.
Polly is a bitch we need. You gotta be nasty in public. You ever finger ya shorty under the dinner table? It's life changing.
Somebody get Bryce doppelgänger a dentist immediately. Look like a grenade went off in that boy mouth.
Dude flaming the fuck outta Jenn and calling her a ho on a ho-down song. This shit writes itself.
Bryce went too far. You go smash a miscellaneous bitch. You don't get face from ya mother and law. I'm a piece of shit but even I have boundaries.
Jenn bout to throw that ass in a circle on the rabbi because of this. He bout to get the best coochie in all of Florida. There ain't nothing like coochie out for revenge.
Follow us on twitter and instagram
Listen to the blog podcast Polite Coolery.