You > anything else. Don't feel bad about shit. You matter. Everything else is conversation and it can wait. Here's a guide because I'm a giving mothafucka.
First you gotta cry or start yelling just to get some feelings out your system. Nothing wrong with that. I yelled “FUCK!!!” Very loud at Forest Park last night. It felt good. I don’t like my feelings bottled up so I gotta release those hoes into the streets like mixtapes. This is a personal first step to focusing on yourself.
After your crybaby or loud ass has completed the shit above you need to write down what the fuck has been making you sad, weighing you down, been toxic in your life, what has not been good for your health physically and mentally. Write it all down in your phone or on paper. Include people. So if your momma comes to your mind write her ass down on that list if it’s a guy or girl in your life write them hoes down on the list on some Chris Jericho shit. This is important because you need to understand and come to grips with what obstacles stand between you and your improvement. On my list for example I have relationships and money. Relationships because what I’m trying to pull off I don’t think a woman would really be okay with my brand and my goals being more important than her. I could be wrong. Who knows. I put money on the list because I work my regular jobs too much because I’m money hungry and that pushes me mentally to a place that’s dangerous. Along with writing and podcasting I put rest to the side which is stupid.
You have to change your way of thinking. I like to call this your “Awakening.” This is where you train yourself to put all negative thoughts through the paper shredder in your mind and continuously think of the life you want and should be living. Think of a scenario where you’ve reached a dream of yours and never forget that scenario. Think about that scenario everyday so that it feels like it’s happened. This conditions your mind to realize that it’s possible. Manifestation is a tricky subject but for the most part but if you start with a clear mindset and add the work to it then it doesn’t seem too tricky.
There will be people who will CLING to your life when you choose yourself. It may be that friend that causes you to spend unnecessary money and wanna do dumb shit all the time. Always selfish and never taking your life into consideration. It may be that person that’s interested in a relationship with you and will try to force or guilt trip you for not wanting a relationship and only focusing on your goals. You’re not a bad person for choosing yourself over the potential of being in love. I don’t live for potential anymore and neither should you.
I’m here to tell you it’s all bullshit. That being in love shit is advertised as something you gotta have or you’re nothing and then you get brainwashed into thinking that just because you’re alone you’re not worthy of being in love or that one special person loving you. Fuck that shit. Love yourself. You’re the only person that matters. The way you love yourself is what matters because that will determine how your story goes. True love starts with yourself and then it branches out. It’s not giving it to someone else first then you get the leftovers. Fuck that shit. Nah get your shit off first and be stingy. It’s like getting the first crack at the baked macaroni. Go off and get yours until you feel you good then you think about sharing the love you give yourself with someone else when you fuckin ready to. People gotta get left behind when you choose yourself it’s just how it is. The people that understand that really have your best interest and you’ll link back up with them when you feel you’re in a better space.
This is where the fun starts. This is my favorite part. YOU START NOT TO GIVE A FUCK! IT’S SO DELICIOUS! You start not to give a fuck about things that used to bother you or disrupt the things you truly love to do. There will be people who try and hurt your feelings but you just don’t give a fuck because you know what type of game they’re trying to play and you only care about your world and what you got going on and they’re just mad that they’re not involved in it. People really want you to get mad, cuss people out, fight, cry, but when you just shrug your shoulders and continue your journey they be BIG MAD! They hate it when you choose yourself, choose not to disturb your peace, and choose to love your life. When you master not giving a fuck you finally don’t let people control YOUR narrative. They can’t dominate your thoughts. You gain “Not giving a fuck” magic in various ways. Mine came from loss. I lost people physically and I realized that the things I would get mad about before were not worth it. Nothing can hurt me anymore. I shrug my shoulders and go about my business. When you don’t give a fuck you’re in control. Your emotions are in check. Your opinion matters. You value yourself.
I’m about to get real Emo Benny on you. Nobody gives a fuck so why not do you and choose yourself? I never understood on people wasting time they can’t get back waiting on people to care about shit. Think about who really gives a fuck about you on a emotional, spiritual, meaningful level? People only give a fuck about what you do. Not you, the person. People are superficial as fuck. So knowing the truth why wouldn’t you do what you desire? Why wouldn’t you choose your happiness over everything else?
Choose yourself today. Put your priorities and mental health over everything. I want you to be the best you. The people who try and interfere with that are miserable. It’s your time and no one else’s.
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