Please go die Hookah. If you do hookah for a hobby please stay the fuck away from me. I rather be seen at a Russ concert than to be seen with you. 


Hookah is just reggie with flavor. You smoking febreezed smelling reggie.  


If you ever invited me to do hookah you did not value our friendship at all. You the feds. 


What rational human being says or thinks “You know what would really turn this weekend up? Hookah with my friends.” A confused ass human, that's who. Seek therapy. 


Not nan one of you mothafuckas better say some shit like "I do this for spiritual reasons" nigga lie again. Take shrooms for a real spiritual journey instead of smoking a glorified flavored black and mild in a bar with overpriced drinks.


If Hookah was a human it would cry about support everyday on Twitter, never get the addy to the kickback, and I'd beat them the fuck up like a YG pose. 


People who smoke hookah prefer Drake over Jodeci. They don't take their Oreos apart when they eat em. They big suspect.  


Hookah is not a stress reliever. If it’s a stress reliever for you then please do everyone a favor and please reconsider living. If you wanna be smart and upgrade your life in a healthier way then practice biting a booty cheek while wine drunk as a stress reliever. 


Who in the fuck idea was it to invent hookah bars? Hookah and Alcohol don’t mix. It's basically a laxative. Yall be in there drinking and smoking hookah and about to shit on yaselves. Gassy than a muhfucka. Bring some pull-ups for these weirdos. Walk in a hookah bar all you smell is blueberry poot. 


You ever see these bitches who act all fucking dignified because they smoke hookah instead of weed and they look down on weed smokers. Hookah worse than cigarettes. Congrats bird bitch you’ve been smoking more tobacco than a King Of The Hill character. Somebody get these dweebs on the patch before they be in the hood trying to buy 1 single Newport short. 


Hookah is a waffle colored nigga sport. It’s for niggas who love to go to “All White” parties. 


I rather go to hell than pay money to get into a hookah lounge. If you pay money to get in a hookah lounge you probably pay for porn instead of watching it for free like a normal person. 


Hookah don’t do shit but give you headaches like dry coochie, bill collectors, and niggas. 


Shisha won’t get you high. So stop pretending like you’re fucking high you dork. 


When you see people blow hookah into their phone screens it’s a cry for help. It’s kinda like the camera flash in the movie “Get Out.” They really wish they were high but they’re not, they’re crying and screaming inside. They’re trying to escape from the “ Sunken Hookah Place.” The Sunken Hookah place is basically a nigga trapped in a Michael B. Jordan party. Real niggas don't belong there. 


If a person goes on vacation and actually seeks out a hookah bar on vacation. They basic as fuck. So you really went out of the country to just do hookah and take shots? Their favorite Vess flavor is probably cola. Report them to the authorities. 


If a nigga smoking hookah he gotta be going through the Sitting Pink Panther meme phase. I hope you get yo bitch back bruh. Actually you won’t because you smoking Apple flavored tobacco 3 days out the week for fun like a privileged college student. 


Future did not create 56 Nights, Monster, and Beast Mode for you niggas to still be smoking hookah in 2018.


Women who smoke hookah all the time be those shorties in the functions on that “I’m too cool to jam” shit and fronting on snapchat like they really jamming.  


Is there a music artist that made a song about hookah? If so let me know when they perform next so I can come support them by throwing a tomato at them on stage. 



If you bought a hookah set for your crib please take it back so I can love you. I want to actually love you. Why do you want me to hate you?


Stop blowing hookah smoke into the screen on Snapchat, Instagram, whatever. You look stupid as fuck. No you don't look sexy. No you don't look cool. No one is impressed and ready to text you or DM you like “Aye what hookah you smoking on? I’m bout to slide. Let’s match hookah.” Nobody will ever be impressed by you smoking hookah cause hookah is for people who listen to Kid Ink songs. 


Only Children, bird bitches, and bald headed niggas over 30 are impressed by hookah. 


I never met a ugly Eritrean woman in my life but they all love hookah so by default they’re all 5’s. 


Dear Hookah, be weed or be nothing. 






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