Lyft driving with random white people would scare the shit outta me. I rather say Candyman 5 times in the mirror. 


Damn blood ain’t say no B-words when he hopped in Issa car. I’m distraught. 


Nathan haven’t texted Issa. I don’t understand why she just can’t double text the nigga. If he don’t respond after that then you fallback. Nigga you grown. 


Molly tryna prove a point at work and it’s pointless. All she doing is putting unnecessary stress on herself to prove herself to niggas. Niggas are babies and entitled. If she just trap and not worry bout what any of these niggas think, she will shine. 


Trina has bed bugs. You nasty raggedy bitch. 


Aye that nigga on that tv show jumped back in the casket like a open Steph Curry jumper.


In real life I’m Molly when it comes to work. I always skip going out with the homies to write. But a Coachella trip I’d be high the moment I bought my ticket. 


Kelly took a edible. Her soul is gone and it ain’t going back. I took a edible at a music festival once and thought I was President Obama. 


Errbody in the Airbnb sleep and there’s Popeye’s boxes. I hate to break it to you kids but that’s what the 30 year club is. Niggas trying to relive their turn up era and never coming close to it. Nigga it’s over. Take your naps. See the festival and then leave the festival early cause your feet hurt and you sick of being around musty young niggas. That day is coming for everybody. We tried to do that in Vegas. I tried to relive the glory days. I went to the strip club in Vegas and had a strippers titties in my lap talking about why my car insurance go up and the law of attraction. 21 year old me would’ve slobbered on them titties like good sleep. 31 year old me evaluating my life while titties are in my lap. 


Nathan went to Coachella cause he knew Issa was there. I don’t really know this nigga angle. It’s something off about that nigga and I’ll figure it out. 


These niggas hella awkward and corny bruh. 


Molly (The Drug) is the most satisfying yet annoying drug I ever took in my life. It’s annoying cause I grit my teeth super hard when I’m on it. Them niggas gone be fucked up though. I fucked this girl in my car off Molly many moons ago and the only sex that could be better than that night is if I fuck a woman in her bonnet. Bonnet sex is the Serena Williams of sex. Bonnets on a black queen can turn the most boring pussy into a carribbean festival. 


Aye Dude got the fuck outta there when Molly was venting to him. That’s the smartest decision any character on this show has ever made. 


I need all my BBW’s to have the “C’mon lil nigga” energy Kelly has when they bout to get on top and ride a skinny nigga. It’s time Queens. 


Shout out to Chan with the man bun for helping Molly not die. 


So let me try and understand this. This nigga ran into Issa at the taco spot. She calls off work to hang wit this nigga. Skinny dipped wit this nigga in a strangers pool. Took this nigga on a hood tour. INVITED THIS NIGGA INTO HER UNFURNISHED APARTMENT. APARTMENT SO UNFURNISHED SHE AIN’T EVEN FAPPED IN IT YET! She kissed this nigga and this nigga said he didn’t respond back to her cause he didn’t wanna press her? Nigga huh? What kinda sense does that make? Maybe it’s cause I’m from St.Louis but no shorty here ain’t ever invite me in they crib if they weren’t truly feeling me and didn’t want me to pursue them. That nigga lying. 


Ferris wheel fucking. I seen that coming. 


I don’t give a fuck if they high or not. They bet not lose that fight to Becky. But yo don’t get mad at me for saying this but the “First timer” shit that white girl said is true as fuck though. A lot of people don’t understand how festivals work. Niggas think that shit has order and structure. I seen a group of black girls get mad at this black dude and his girl at the Roots Picnic for sitting on their blanket and kept screaming at them for being in the way. Most hilarious shit ever cause you could tell they never been to a festival before. Festivals overrated anyway. 


If I ever got kicked outta Coachella somebody gotta die I’d be damned if I spend a mortgage payment on seeing Beyonce and not see Beyonce. Don’t fucking play with me dawg. They had to be sick when they got back home and seen the actual performance. I'm pulling up for fades. 


They tazed Kelly and she took that shit like a G and was still able to talk. She clearly should be protecting T’Challa instead of giving Issa financial advice for living. 


Why Issa want everybody to be upset with her for? She basically begging niggas to cuss her out. Nigga sit your ass down and tweak off those drugs wit ya friends. 


Aye real shit. Tiffany understands the life she headed to. She on a different type of time than Molly, Issa, and Kelly and she realizes it. Being pregnant only amplifies those feelings. People grow apart. No matter how long you been friends for. 


King Lawrence and The Realest Nigga In All Of The Land Chadwick are back with slurpees in hand and H&M fitted down to a tee. Now one would think “Oh I know Benny The leader of the ALMIGHTY LAWRENCE HIVE is excited!” Actually I’m not. You gotta think about this long term. One, I actually liked the idea of Lawrence not being on this season. I wanted to see Issa’s life without him. See her grow without him. I think it’s too soon that they’d run into each other. Especially at Coachella of all places. That shit with them happened not even 2 months ago. That’s really no time. Plus they only bringing my nigga back to turn him into the bad guy and break his heart. Lawrence is only back to take L’s. He probably gone be a thirsty ass nigga and shit. It’s gonna be perceived like he’s only back to ruin the dick Issa is receiving in her life. Nothing good is coming from this. As The Lawrence Hive President this concerns me. 


But for good memories ....... The Lawrence Hive LIVES!!!! 



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