I’ve been watching this movie for the past week on HBO GO so I thought I’d review it as a old fucking man now that I have a better understanding of the film than I did when I seen it when I was younger.

So yeah here’s me watching The Devil Wears Prada.

First off these apartments you’re seeing in the beginning of this film cost about a cool 3000-4000 a month today. No lie. Affordable living in New York is 2000 a month. That’s fucking insane.

I’m scared to live in New York only because I feel I would get into a fight every fucking day. Them people rude as fuck. Chill out.

The whole office scatter like project roaches when Miranda is on her way to the office. You see shorty hop off the elevator to let Miranda have the elevator to herself? That’s a boss.

I could literally say “Details of your incompetence do not intrigue me.” every fucking day. So I feel Miranda on that.

The name Andy Sachs sounds like a male pornstar starring in a film named “Sacks Fifth Avenue” where bitches get fucked in high end fashion boutiques.

Andy’s interview is awkward as fuck with Miranda because she not interested in fashion at all and she just wants the job for connections. Andy could’ve at least did some research about the magazine, the history of it, and it’s editor. Miranda was in the right in how she responded to Andy. Luckily Andy still got the job.

Why is Nate a dickhead immediately out the gate? Why would he tell his girlfriend “It must’ve been a phone interview” when he hears the news that she got hired at Runway? This mothafucka is the true villain of this movie and don’t you ever forget it.

Although it’s rude. I like the fact that Andy doesn’t know anything about Miranda’s reputation. Some people really want others to worship the ground they walk just because of who they think they are. A person who don’t know you don’t give a fuck about none of that. You just regular as fuck to them.

Fashion is truly some stressful shit. I can see why people in that industry so depressed, mentally ill, and turn to drugs. The shit they require of people and the way they treat people is so inhumane. Clothes be flames though.

Every time Miranda calls Andy “Emily” I cackle like a 47 year old black woman watching her stories at 2pm.

The blatant disrespect of Miranda tossing her coat and purses on Andy’s desk is so delicious. She’s such a evil bitch and I Stan dammit I Stan.

The fact that they get 15-20 minutes for lunch is so fucked up. I would’ve destroyed that office like Dave Chappelle in that skit where he fucked Oprah and got her pregnant and he quit his job. I’m knocking over shelves on people.

The way Nigel implied that Andy is fat for eating corn chowder is so fucking evil and ignorant and I wish he was my bestie.

I don’t think Miranda ever let anyone complete a full sentence in her presence in her life.

When Andy laughed at those 2 similar belts I get why Miranda gave her that speech. You can’t really be laughing at shit people passionate about especially when you’re in their space and they’re doing you a favor not the other way around.

Wine and Grilled Cheese would be a mood. Making grilled cheese is the only thing Nate is good for the entire movie.

We live in a world where only results matter and it’s super fucked up because it puts the worst strain on us mentally and we forget all about the process. Miranda only gives a fuck about results and there was no way Andy could’ve gotten that flight for her in a hurricane and she called Andy fat and incompetent. Andy didn’t deserve that shit. I don’t understand why she couldn’t call someone herself to get a flight. Andy don’t have access to the connections Miranda does so I don’t get why she’s upset with her. Why is she trying to fly in a hurricane? She in a hurry to die?

Nigel told Andy the truth about her time so far at Runway. You can’t half ass a job and expect to be complimented on it especially when your actions show that you don’t care as much as your co-workers. Be all in or quit.

See this is why I need a gay black best friend so they can help me put together fits. I’m bout to make tinder profile and find a gay best friend. Nigel was giving Andy HEAT especially that green coat that mothafucka was FLAMES! Andy had a fit for every bump on your face. Had Red head Emily hating hard on the sauce she was serving the whole office. Miranda even had to look at Andy like “Okay bitch I see you!” The eyes never lie.

Nate a mothafucking hater. All that dude do is hate. You never hear him say one encouraging thing to Andy in the movie. All he concerned with is his feelings only and sex. You literally never see him happy for Andy at all. Her friends playing around with her phone also was some jerk shit. They know how demanding that girl boss is and how stressful the job is on Andy and they think answering her phone when her boss calls is gonna make things better for her? Lily had some mothafucking nerve. Andy just gave her a purse that cost a months rent and she playing with her livelihood. They all looking confused like idiots when Andy got upset and that leads me to believe Andy needs new friends.

For the longest I did not know one of my favorite Jamiroquai songs was on this movie. “Seven Days In Sunny June.”

Christian Thompson looks like every white boy I went to school with.

Nate is a terrible support system. If my girlfriend was serving looks DAILY and had a job that could land her any job she wanted in the future because of the job reference I bet I could never keep my dick outta her. You’d never hear me complain at all. I’d just shut the fuck up and listen when she vents and take dope ass instagram photos of her in those bad bitch outfits. Date night would be every night. I’d wanna be seen everywhere with my shorty.

Miranda hella fake. How the fuck she don’t know nobody?

I always said I’d always want my girl to put her dreams before me because if she’s not pursuing her dreams then she’s not being the best she can be. She won’t be happy if I try to hold her back from it. Nigel telling Andy that her personal life is gonna suffer for doing good at work makes sense. It’s a demanding job. But you gotta think long term. Just get through the year and everything will change. Too bad Nate is so fucking selfish and only thinks about himself and his needs. What grown man gives a fuck about their birthday? Maybe I’m just an asshole but I don’t give a fuck bout my birthday. People who throw themselves parties are weirdos to me. For weeks he’s seen what Andy’s job requires and he acting like a brat. All I would’ve asked of my girl if she was gonna miss out on my b day plans is just call me and let me know and I’m sure she would make it up to me at a later date. Shit not that serious. I knew Nate was a bitch when he wasted a perfectly good cupcake.

Miranda was right to offer Andy the Paris trip. Red head Emily was dropping the ball on everything. Now she’s getting the blatant coat on the desk disrespect and then gets hit by a car like a Grand theft Auto character. Life came at her quick.

Christian been shooting his shot in every scene. You gotta respect his gangsta. When he kissed Andy on the cheek and she looked like a prime Janet Jackson giggle I knew he was gone smash later. Lily right but Nate a bitch ass dude so I’m fine with Andy’s behavior.

Nate really gone sit up here and act like Andy missing his birthday party didn’t bother him. Get this dweeb the fuck outta here. He basically pushed Andy into Christian’s dick.

I liked how Miranda opened up a lil bit to Andy about getting another divorce and her pretending it doesn't bother her what people think when indeed it does because that’s the point of her profession. She has to care what people think. Yes her kids reading about her is true but it hurts her too. First sign of vulnerability you see from Miranda in the film and it’s one of my favorite scenes.

Christian got the drawls. Dude don’t give a fuck bout nothing. you can tell he’s an asshole but tolerable.

Miranda really played the fuck outta Nigel and he didn’t even know it was coming. To see his heart get broken like that and he just had to take it gets me every time man. The industry they’re in is so cutthroat and fake. It’s a shame. Miranda did flex on em and told that dude “You can’t fire me bitch. I’m the main event.”

Andy quitting was perfect. The car ride scene was perfect too. “Everybody Wants To Be Us.” It’s very true. Miranda told no lies but she’s a prisoner of that quote. Everything she does has to be perfect. She loses her humanity more and more and she accepts it but when she looks back I’m sure she will be like “Most of that shit wasn’t worth it.”

No one cares that Nate moved to Boston. No one. Bye bitch. I bet you his cooking is trash.

I liked how Andy got the second smile in the history out of Miranda. Tom Ford has company. Perfect way to end the film. A classic.


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