Everyone changes like the seasons. It’s either for better or worst. Growth is difficult. As a man usually stuck in his ways I’m a testament to that. What’s on the other side of growth is prosperity but a lot of us still keep our distance from growth. It takes work and sacrifice to grow. What feels good to us isn’t necessarily healthy for us. When you understand that, you’ve grown.
Here are some signs of growth.
EMBRACING THE CLEANSE
This can be a cleanse of anything. You may have an issue with buying dumb shit (Hey that’s me) and you’ve decided to minimize your space and sell those things or give them away. It can be a cleanse of your body and you’ve decided to stop eating trash food everyday. It can be a cleanse of your mind and you’re mindful of everything you pay attention to. It can be a cleanse of toxic people in your life.
When you embrace cleansing your life you’ve grown. You haven’t grown if you make excuse after excuse to avoid cleansing your life. You’re holding onto shoes and shirts you haven’t looked at in 5 months. You’re making excuses for staying around disrespectful and selfish people. You’re making excuses for not staying active and not getting exercise. Making excuses for watching an average of 20 plus hours of television per week. It’s easier to make an excuse than it is to make progress.
We tend to avoiding cleansing our lives because we’ve become dependent on what we’re trying to break away from. We’re dependent on terrible food. We’re dependent on toxic people whether it’s mentally or physically. We’re dependent on materialism. We’re dependent on gossip. Once you commit to cleansing your life your growth has arrived.
When you’re not afraid of being wrong and not afraid of admitting you’re wrong is a mindset and behavior that takes a lot of people to reach. Accountability is not about being embarrassed or your ego being broken. It’s about owning your flaws and accepting you were wrong. Accountability is an everyday thing. You can’t be accountable sometimes. A person who practices accountability part time will never be happy and will never have clarity. You see this the most in failed friendships or failed relationships. I’m sure a person hurt your feelings but start with yourself first. What did you do wrong. Be accountable for it. Own it. Move forward. Don’t be a better person for other people. Be a better person for yourself. If you’re changing for someone else then that change won’t last. If you’re changing for yourself then that’s pure and that’s going to last. You’re not forcing standards on yourself that you don’t want to commit to or can’t uphold.
It’s okay to not to know all the answers. You grow once you understand you don’t know everything. Anyone who thinks they know everything is the biggest fool. Knowledge is infinite. Life is a forever game. You’ll never have yourself figured out. You’ll never have the world figured out. You can be in your 70’s and learn something about yourself you never knew. That’s what makes life worth living. It’s just a ride. Up’s. Downs. Every emotion included.
I’m not the greatest at communication in the sense of checking up on people. I’m awful. Ask any of my loved ones they’ll tell you but they understand how I am and don’t take it personal. I can literally go months without contact and I’ll be fine. Some people can’t and that’s okay too. But I never have an issue with talking things out regardless if it’s a good conversation or a bad conversation.
I grew up in violence outside my household and that’s one of the most underrated blessings of my life. When I came home there wasn’t violence or toxicity. My parents weren’t fighting. There wasn’t addiction. Shit was just cool. But when I’d go to school or walk to different hoods it’s all that I saw. Looking back on all the shit I’ve seen in my life that ended in violence all that shit could’ve been discussed. A conversation was possible. I think violence is the easy way out. I think niggas shoot at each other or throw hands because they’re afraid of vulnerability and awkwardness. Hard conversations possess both of those things and they can bring embarrassment. Nobody likes to be embarrassed. So instead of risking vulnerability people will choose violence.
I’m willing to sit down and have a hard conversation with almost anybody. Not saying we’ll come to an agreement and be friends but I’m sure we’ll come to a healthy understanding and leave the foolishness at the table we sat at. When you are able to have tough conversations with a level head you’ve grown. Everything doesn’t have to be a screaming match or us insulting each other.
I don’t understand the rush culture. It takes time to be good at anything. Patience literally saves people from so many mistakes. Majority of the time putting your best foot forward and taking your time is the best decision. A boxer doesn’t just go into the ring and rush for a first round knockout. If they get a first round knockout it either came from impatience from their opponent and they capitalized off it or they were patient and found openings. They don’t just swing. They look for openings and build upon them to land clean and effective shots on their opponents. It’s a sport of patience. All sports are about patience.
It’s about longevity. I’ve gotten out of the mindset of what I need now and why I need it now and started thinking about what benefits me 15 to 20 years from now. Being a writer and owning my own business is a blessing because it’s taught me different levels of patience. The small victories mean so much to me. My losses mean so much to me. Patience has shown me what’s real and what’s fake. It’s graduation season right now. There’s people who feel they need that big job right now after they walk across that stage or need their company to be successful fast but it never comes fast. If it did come fast it crashes just as quick as it came. Patience is always the key. Patience is healthy. The people who get results understand patience.
When you’re young and immature patience doesn’t look sexy. It doesn’t look fun. Patience is the mud. Patience is the trenches. But once you have it and you achieve what you set out to achieve you’ll look back and be grateful that you had patience and you’ll understand it’s importance. Your life is supposed to be a home cooked meal. Not Rally’s.
Growing up isn’t a trap. It’s your route to freedom.
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