IF ANIME WERE HALLOWEEN CANDY
Day 6. What if anime were halloween candy?
BLACK CLOVER = TWIZZLERS
Black Clover is the twizzlers of anime. Do I think twizzlers are disgusting? No. Do I think it’s top 10 candy? No, but if you offer it to me to eat I won’t turn it down. Eating flavored candle wax not the worst thing to eat. For christ sakes I eat ass for fun, I’ll be alright. Black Clover is the same way. I don’t think it’s trash, I don’t think it’s top 10 but if you offer it to me to read or watch I will. I’ve watched worse anime than Black Clover.
SAILOR MOON = HARIBO GUMMY BEARS
Gummy bears are the most nostalgic candy. When I eat gummy bears it takes me back to a simpler time in life. Every time I see Sailor Moon I think of coming home after school and saying to myself “fuck that homework I’m not doing it” I didn’t even care about Sailor Moon as a kid Just watched it because it was on Toonami but I cannot deny it’s influence in being a part of making anime popular in the U.S. Sailor Moon give me that feel like gummy bears.
BLEACH = CANDY CORN
Candy corn I’m not really for or against. It’s just there. If candy corn was used just for decorations then sure but it’s just a candy I don’t understand why some people hate it so much and why some people love it so much. It’s exactly how I feel about Bleach. I think Bleach is a great mascot for anime just like candy corn is a great mascot for halloween but I don’t understand people obsession with it or people hatred for it.
ONE PIECE = PURPLE BAG SKITTLES AND PURPLE BAG TROLLI SOUR WORMS
One Piece has remained top tier for 4 era’s. Almost 3 decades of fucking peak. Its reputation proceeds it. Don’t listen to the dweebs that say it’s too long to watch. We don’t have time for those negative people who contribute nothing to society. The longevity and relevance of this series should be studied. Just like the longevity of the purple bag skittles and purple bag trolli gummy worms. The purple bag skittles has been at the top of the candy pyramid for decades. You know what you’re getting and it keeps getting better over time. It can’t be stopped. I’ve never seen a human in my life say the purple bag trolli’s aren’t fire and if they lie and say they’re trash it’s for clout and attention. Just how people try to tell people One Piece is awful for attention. Nobody believes you lame-o.
MY HERO ACADEMIA = CANDY NECKLACES
Candy necklace are cool in theory. You loved them as a kid but eventually you mature and realize how fucking stupid it is. My Hero Academia started out as a great concept but then once you mature you realize the writing is dog shit and you just tolerate it. I read all these fucking chapters and watched all these fucking seasons I might as well finish. It’s basically the anime version of the fast and the furious franchise.
NARUTO SHIPUDDEN = BROWN BAG M&M’S
Brown bag m&m’s are iconic but boy are they fucking bland. Peanut butter m&m’s are amazing. Peanut m&m’s are amazing but those brown bag ones are just ehh unless it’s in some trail mix. They just hit different in that trail mix salt. Naruto the O.G is one of the peanut m&m’s but Shipudden is pretty fucking lame like brown bag m&m’s. Props for being an iconic candy and being popular worldwide but they have the excitement of a dentist appointment. I rather do hookah than watch Naruto Shipudden.
SWORD ART ONLINE = JOLLY RANCHERS
Jolly ranchers start off cool and then 30 seconds later it’s ripping open your mouth. Sword art online starts out cool and then a season later I feel like ripping my fucking eyes out. It had potential like jolly ranchers but became a fucking disgrace. The first season was like Jolly Rancher suckers. It was decent then once they took the stick out the jolly rancher it became an embarrassment.
DRAGONBALL Z = REESES
Dragonball Z changed the game. Reeses changed the game. They’re both pillars of their respective lanes that cannot be moved. If you had a list of most influential anime Dragonball would be on the list. If you had a list of best candy of all time Reeses would be on that list. There’s just some things that are opinions but truly facts. The frozen Reeses have come in clutch many of days for me. Dragonball Z has come in clutch many of days for me. Both are automatic Mt.Rushmore material.
FAIRY TAIL = AIRHEADS
All airheads taste the same the older you get. Sometimes you wonder “Why the fuck are airheads here? Why am I eating this candy? I wonder everyday why Fairy Tail even exists. Anyone who thinks Fairy Tale is an elite anime usually think chicken strips and fries is an acceptable meal to order as an adult.
FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST BROTHERHOOD = TWIX
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is a perfect anime. Well balanced. Makes you wonder how could someone create something so flawless. Leaves you wanting more just like when you finish a pack of Twix. The perfect balance of cookie, chocolate and caramel. Smooth as fuck. Makes you want to cry when you eat it. Real niggas have cried to FMAB too.
YU YU HAKUSHO = SNICKERS
You know how people try to play stupid like Snickers aren’t good and try to say they’re overrated. They try to say Yu Yu Hakusho hasn’t aged well because it was made in the 90’s. Don’t listen to these nincompoops. Snickers are the upgraded version of milky ways. A classic candy and anime and that will never change.
DEMON SLAYER = MILKY WAY
Milky Way’s are simple. Basic. Nougat, caramel and milk chocolate. It gets the job done. Demon Slayer is the same. Not complicated. Easy to get into. I don’t have to think while watching it. I don’t think about eating milky ways. It just happens. When it comes to tastiness it does just enough to get the job done.
DEATH NOTE = SMARTIES
Everyone has smarties. You eat them last. You’ve grown up with them your whole life but you eat them and only eat them if you ate all the good candy already. You’ve seen Death Note and you never revisited it. It’s not worth revisiting. It was a anime that prepared you for better anime just like smarties was candy chalk that prepared you for better candy.
ATTACK ON TITAN = SOUR PATCH KIDS
When you eat sour patch kids it’s cool for about 3 minutes and then the deeper you go in the bag the more it overstays it’s welcome. I get tired of them fast. Attack on Titan was great but once it got to the point where it was ending it took them 459858 business days just to end the fucking anime and the ending wasn’t even that fucking good. It left me unfulfilled like a bag of sour patch kids.
Love, Benny
