MY FINAL YEAR OF TRICK OR TREATING

It’s story time. Let me tell the tale of the last time I went trick or treating.

I was 14 years old starting high school in a new district. It was a predominantly white school and I never been exposed to so many white people at one time in my life. It was on some boy meets world shit except none of these white hoes looked like Topanga. I was born and raised in an all black neighborhood. I grew up across the street from a trap house. So on my block all I’d see is junkies doing funny shit, dealers, and regular niggas. 

I already knew in my heart that none of these people in this school never had baked macaroni in their life. I was a fish out of water. There were niggas at the school but some of em never got linings. They looked like they got the haircuts at great clips by a bitch named Mary Jo. The school was a complete 180 from where I came from. My new school was like a scene in the movie 10 Things I hate about you. 

I was used to possible fades in the hallways. Joaning on niggas all day. We all had gold teeth. Hot fries and hot Cheetos for breakfast every morning at the bus stop. We shot dice in the bathroom for money. Smoked black and milds to prepare us for weed. We lived like a classic Project Pat verse. 

I’m a quiet nigga. I know it’s hard to believe but I do not talk much in person. So of course white kids started talking to me. Being polite. I don’t know why but when white people see black people they try to impress you by letting you know that they listen to rap music. I could give less of a fuck that you listen to Lil Wayne, Adam. Get off my dick. 

The white girls are even worse. White girls do not understand the concept of personal space so when they speak to you they be all up in your space with their breath smelling like green bean casserole. Touching all on me. Shit was uncomfortable. White girls in my high school were hardcore drug addicts too. These evil bitches really be junkies. It was a white girl that introduced me to ecstasy in high school. That’s a horror story that I will tell another day. Probably next week. 

After 2 months I started to get used to the new school because I found black people that I vibed with that went there with me. A lot of them came from the same places as me and their parent(s) thought they would have a better chance at college going to this school. 

I was new so of course all the girls was on me like Kel on orange soda. I was the talk of the black people in the school. I had my eyes on one shorty named Tasha. She was thicker than Tems in an astronaut suit. I asked all the niggas there what was up with her and they all said the same shit. She fuck with a lot of niggas. This and that. They was basically saying she was a hoe without saying it out right. I didn’t give a fuck. I guess she bout to be my hoe. It’s a new nigga in town and I need her. 

So Halloween week hits. Tasha invited me to come over to her friend house and we was gonna trick or treat around their neighborhood and get candy. At first I was like damn we in high school now. The fuck we trick or treating for? Outside of that, nigga I couldn’t sleep for 3 days straight. I was exercising my hands for unlimited booty rubs. I had a whole plan and every thing. Best case scenario get some skittles and leave with some good mouth, touch a titty with consent and go home and watch Dragon Ball Z. 

I also get invited by the homies to hit this big ass neighborhood and trick or treat and the neighborhoods happen to be right next to each other so I was gonna mob with the homies for an hour and then walk a neighborhood over and link of with Tasha for the rest of the night. 

So It’s me Tee, Nick, Matt, Cam, Chad, Darius, and a bunch of other niggas I don’t feel like naming but we was deep in an all white neighborhood. Mistake number 1. So we had on our costumes and we’re hitting each house getting candy. The night smooth so far. Not even 15 minutes later this nigga Chad says “I’m bout to snatch these little kids candy.” I aint trip off what he said cause I aint believe him and niggas just be talking. I just kept walking up the hill to the next houses. What if one of these little white kids is like Damien from The Omen or something. I just need to get these snickers and get to the thick ass shorty waiting for me. 

We hit about 5 more houses on the hill and we notice that Chad aint with the group no more. We looking for him and I shit you not when I look at the bottom of the hill all I see is a silhouette in the dark of somebody lifting up a kid and body slamming the kid to the ground. He grabs the kid bag of candy and yells “EVERYBODY BREAK!!!!!” And he starts running up the hill. The kid on the ground yells “You fucking Nigger!!!” My first time hearing nigger from a white person in person. I laughed so hard cause he said it in a funny ass white kid Maculey Culkin Home Alone voice. Racism be funny to me sometimes. I might be sick in the head but I thought I would be called a nigger out here sooner or later for fucking one of these white dudes girlfriends. Funniest shit ever. 

All of sudden the white kid dad comes outta nowhere and spots us and starts running after all of us. We all separate and start running for our lives. This grown white man was fast as fuck I gotta give him his props. He was running like Johnny Football at Texas A&M. 

I cut through a yard and I’m just hopping fences. Nigga Im feeling like I was in a slave movie but I’m lowkey excited cause this all we did on my old block while running from the police. Nigga I was looking like Catcha Freeman from The Boondocks the way I was moving. I’m running through backyards with Matt and my adrenaline going crazy so I’m not getting tired. It’s dark as fuck and it’s hard to see and I almost ran right in a in ground pool. I dodged falling in the pool on some Spider Man shit.  I see the white man behind us and I started running even faster but this nigga Matt was slow as fuck. The nigga running like a nigga who unable to move or fight back in a nightmare. I’m so far ahead of this nigga. I lost my candy  too so I’m pissed. 

All of sudden I’m seeing police lights. The shit done got serious. It wasn’t the police I was scared of. I was afraid of my momma having to bail me out. Nigga keep me in the jail if that’s the case. She gone beat the fuck outta me. I’m a look like mojo jojo after fighting the powderpuff girls if my momma find out im locked up. One thing my parents always preached to me as a teenager is just get home safely. If you don’t we will fuck you up. I got girls to get I can’t afford to get fucked up now. 

I’m trying to just get to the next neighborhood where Tasha at so I can duck off and make out with her for the rest of the night and I’ll have a alibi if the police start asking questions. I turn around and I see this nigga Matt struggling to get over the fence so my dumbass run back on some My Hero Academia shit to try and save him and sure enough the white kid dad catch up to this nigga and pull his fat ass off the fence. They get the tussling and all I hear is Matt yelling “Get the fuck off me.” That nigga is cooked so I keep running until I hit the main street and I ain’t give a fuck about Tasha anymore I just ran all the way home. 

It took me bout 40 minutes to get back home on foot. I got home my Jordans were fucked up and scuffed up. I was candy-less and titty-less. I told myself that tonight was the last time I’d ever go trick or treating. I didn’t even think about if Matt got locked up or if any of my other homies got caught. I damn near ran a marathon so I just passed out in my bed. 

The next day at school the principal lord of the rings looking ass aint waste no time and called us to the office. This muppet baby looking ass white man did not like black people. I used to wear my durag to school and he always had a problem with that shit. Nigga I’m trying to get my waves bussin, stunt on hoes and fall asleep in history class cause it’s all lies. Get off my nuts. 

We all got called to the office right at first period. I go to the office and there’s 2 police officers standing in there. It wasn’t the first time I got interrogated so I knew I wasn’t saying shit to nobody. They ask me who did the assault. I said I didn’t know anything about an assault. They asked me why I ran and I told em I didn’t run anywhere and then they threatened to suspend me because I wouldn’t say nobody name and they kept saying I wasn’t telling the truth. 

I knew they aint have shit cause if they did I would’ve been suspended already and called my parents. It didn’t matter cause that nigga Matt told on Chad and they took that nigga Chad to juvenile hall cause the father of that kid was pressing charges. I seen that nigga get hauled away in cuffs like a disgraced rapper in a rico indictment. and they had me go back to class.  

Word got out about what happened and people were spreading all types of rumors. It’s crazy how fast lies get spread. People was saying guns was involved and all types of shit and I kept my mouth shut about it cause I aint want people going back and telling on me after I told the principal and police I ain’t see shit. 

White hoes was all on me after that shit cause they thought I was some gangsta ass nigga cause I was involved and they used to be attracted to niggas like us on some “I wanna fuck a black guy to rebel against my parents” type fetish. I was not going for these Jennifer Lawrence looking ass bitches. After that shit I ain’t talk to a white person for 2 weeks damn near. Barely spoke to my teachers. 

I vowed to never go trick or treating in my life ever again and I never did. 

Love, Benny