I wouldn't consider myself a relationship guru. I wasn't really shit in the one's I was in. I wasn't cheating or controlling or any fuck shit like that. I was possibly worse. I was BORING! Yes boring. I was the Krillin of relationships. They were over before they began like Krillin's fights. You're better off being an asshole than being boring, at least there's some sense of adventure. Boredom kills vibes before vibes can grow into some more awesome shit. You can be boring if you choose but it's just a ticking time bomb before you're locking yourself away from the world playing Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill because your woman is now dating a A.C Slater looking muhfucka or your man is now dating a woman who just goes with the flow, listens to Migos, and doesn't complain. From the male perspective, You're thinking to yourself "No homo but I know I look better than this nigga," like Slim from "The Wood" would say but that doesn't matter. It's all about how you make a woman feel. I'm willing to bet the man she left you for is less boring than you. I'm not saying go skydiving and shit. Just keep things unique and special. Keep your relationship interesting. Dont be Krillin. I'm a give you some pointers so you can be a Super Saiyan in your relationship. Here are 13 things needed for a healthy relationship.
TACO TUESDAY'S OR THURSDAY'S
Looking back on all my relationships. I didn't have ONE Taco night, NOT ONE! Unacceptable. The relationships obviously had no future without taco nights. Go to the grocery store get all the ingredients, get a little liquor, play some wavy tunes , and cook those eats together. If you don't like Tacos (How is that possible?) you can replace it with other meals that you and yours love. A couple that's eating good will stay good, and ascend to GREAT. If either one of you on a diet. Cool just have 1 cheat day a week or every other week and take care of your business around the cheat day. You can eat what you want and still be in shape it just depends how hard you going in the gym. If you're going to eat unhealthy you have to be in the gym at least 4 days a week. If you're going to eat unhealthy and not give a fuck about exercise then do that too. It doesn't matter. Whatever makes you happy and the relationship work. Just get those tacos and burritos cracking. Throw some rotel in there too. Rotel usually makes everything okay.
I love all music. I truly do. There are days I want to hear Nirvana. There are days I want to hear Dj Quik but there's nothing like some good ol trap music. As a man, seeing a woman who has her shit together rap Gucci Mane's "My Kitchen" word for word is beyond beautiful. It's indescribable. It's something a queen does. Just riding around with your better half listening to people talk about ducking the feds, doing and selling every drug imaginable, getting money and fucking model bitches will truly bring your world's closer. You can't tell me if you're at a kickback or club dancing to trap music that it wont make your bond tighter. You're officially in love once Trap music comes into the relationship and you both enjoy rapping it together like you both really did the shit the artist rapping about. Better start shopping for those rings.
Small concerts. Big concerts. Local concerts. Music festivals. Live music is really therapeutic. The best dates I've been on personally have been at live shows. It's even better if you both enjoy the artist/band you're seeing. There may come a time where you may not like the artist/band music your significant other wants to go see. Go with them anyway. Don't bash what they like because that's like implying their taste is trash. Support what they like. It's all about compromise. If the shoe was on the other foot you would want them to do the same. It's all about being introduced to each other's world's and adapting to them. One thing that makes relationships interesting, especially if you have different interests or have opposite personalities is that you can introduce each other to new things. My parents are complete opposites and have been married for 32 years. Compromising is the key emoji (Khaled voice). Go to some shows together, drink a couple, and feel the vibe.
We all love lazy days when we get them. We all work hard right? We deserve them! Get comfortable. Get those snacks out. Fire up some tree (If that's your thing). Fire up any of your favorite streaming services (Netflix, Hulu, HBO GO, Crunchyroll). Lay up or Sit up and watch whatever for hours. I prefer to cut my phone off but I understand if you can't. You can watch a bunch of movies too. Seth Rogen and Will Ferrell movies are my go to. You can do Reality TV or Anime show marathons. You already know how I'm rocking, "Hey Arnold" or "The Wire" getting cut on quick. Don't hog the choices all the time though. If she want to watch her shit let her and vice versa. Sharing is caring. Just chill and enjoy each other company. Youtube nights fall into this category too. Watch some old music videos and funny ass clips for hours. Light up some Binges with someone who you care for is always lit.
IN SEARCH OF BY N.E.R.D
I don't know. Just keep this album around your relationship. Can a relationship ever fail if you frequently play "Run To The Sun?" All my fellas, let her wear your V-neck and watch her dance to "Tape You," and remind yourself how blessed you are.
I'm not a huge public display of affection guy unless I'm lit but I'm lit over 70% of the time so I guess I am. Sometimes you just gotta make out in front of everybody just because y'all both lit and don't give a fuck. If you want to take it over power level 9000 like Goku, travel with your better half and go to a major city like New York, LA, Vegas (It's even better if you live in those cities but any city you can do this in), call a uber or taxi for the night, get fucked up and on your way back to the crib or hotel get it cracking in the back of the uber or taxi like you're both in a 90's R&B video. It will jumpstart the end of the night. Trust me.
You know what you have is real if you both can shut the fuck up together. Just comfortably sit in silence. Just chilling and thinking. This usually turns into a fire ass nap. I always say I like quiet women and people confuse that with wanting a submissive woman. No. I just like a woman that can just shut the fuck up with me and lay on my chest and then when we finally talk, it's about food. I just believe it's really dope sometimes to just be in the company of each other and enjoy it while no words are being said. It sounds weird but I think you get my point.
Find your favorite game systems from your childhood's. Buy them. Play them all fucking night. Too simple. Get you a Dreamcast and play Jet Grind Radio or Crazy Taxi. Get a Nintendo 64 and play Zelda or Mario Kart 64. You can set up a kickback with all of your friends doing this too. Go even farther and beat Battletoads on Sega together. Nothing wrong with the current game systems out but it's something about Nostalgia that makes things more interesting. Retro gaming cant do anything but lift a relationship.
Nothing wrong with a little competition in the relationship. You can make cool little bets when you play shit together or if you're a former drunk like me you can turn it into a drinking game. Loser takes a shot. If you take my advice above and snatch you a retro game system you can make bets on who gets the highest score on Crazy Taxi. The fun dates like Laser Tag, Go-Karting, Miniature Golf are perfect for this. It's cool to be competitive just as long as you don't get carried away. Don't take it personal. Just keep it fun and light hearted, unless you playing 1 on 1 in basketball. Basketball games are always REAL. If your woman beats you in 1 on 1 you can no longer tell her no. She owns you for life even if you beat her the next 100 games in a row. I'll let a woman beat me in anything but basketball. I'm crossing that ass up with no mercy.
TUPAC HENNY NIGHTS
Allow me to explain. Growing up I used to watch my Aunt's and Uncle's play Tupac and Dr.Dre all night, fry fish, drink Henny, smoke, play dominoes, and just talk shit all night. They would talk about everything. These sessions were used to vent, randomly drunk freestyle, dance, reminisce, and say "I Love You" to each other over and over. It was therapy. These nights are needed in a relationship. Put the "All Eyez On Me" album on and let it play straight through and drink some Henny. You don't have to listen to Pac or drink Henny. Any artist, alcohol of your choice, oldies and chopped and screwed music are perfect for this too but it's nothing like hearing "Thug Passion" with a glass of cognac in hand. Chill, drink, smoke, sneak in a little slow dance, and talk shit all night. Listen to her vent about lame ass people at her job or within her profession. You listen to him vent about corny niggas walking the earth. Just a private party for two.
Travel and go the fuck outside together. I'm not a big nature dude, I've only been camping once but that shit is fun. Go to bonfires or create your own and eat bbq chicken like a real couple supposed to. If you travel out west go hiking together. It's a very beautiful sight. You get exercise and can have a real in depth conversation while hiking up. If you at home find a park to relax at together. If there's food trucks around that's even better you can eat while you're out there. If you can make it happen get your passports together and make a goal to go to a different country every year. If you budget right it's really easy to accomplish. Go to Africa like Tionne and Sincere in the movie "Belly." Experiencing different cultures will bring so much creativity to the relationship. Travel as much as possible and take plenty pictures.
When you're out on the town. Just watch people together and flame em. Get them jokes out. People are super interesting when you have no idea where they've come from, where they're going, what kind of person they are, it's intriguing. The mystery makes this so much fun. It's a bonus if you're out, and see someone high or drunk as fuck and you both start playing around with them. A very underrated relationship activity.
TRUST WITH SPACE
Nights out with her girls are going to happen. Nights out with his boys are going to happen. These nights are needed. You both will have your own friends. My G's out there hear me out. She is going to get approached by other men when she out with her girls. It's inevitable. Men are hunters. We like what we see, we shoot our shot. Simple. Trust her to do the right thing in your absence. You have to have the trust and confidence that she's not worried about any other man because she has the best already. She is beautiful inside and out. What man wouldn't try their luck? Guess what though? She coming home to YOU. Always keep that in mind if you've been a good man to her and been there for her right, wrong, or indifferent. She'll hold it down. Ladies, his single homies are going to fuck around and give him shit for being in a relationship, fake peer pressuring him but it's all jokes. If he like you, a real man not fucking that up. Women will approach him but guess what? He coming home to YOU. Don't text each other all fucking night while you're out with your friends UNLESS the night is lame. Just send a text to check in with each other to make sure everything good. Just normal courtesy. No one wants to have tabs kept on them constantly, especially as an adult. Trust is so vital. It's the heartbeat of the relationship. Don't fuck that up trying to control each other and showing constant jealously and insecurities. TRUST YOUR PARTNER! They're by your side for a reason. You've seen him with a fucked up lining. You've seen her in her bonnet. You're meant for each other.
We made it! 13 things needed for a healthy relationship. Use all 13 and you'll be married in 13 days.
- Benny "The Love Doctor" Rodriguez